The TOP 57 Travel Jokes

by Megha Sharma  |  24 Feb 2021

Everyone loves traveling. Maybe the reason is that while we are traveling, we get to know a lot of people and at the same time, we are making memories which we can keep forever. 

Why not add a little spice to your travels and include these funny and hilarious travel jokes we prepared for you?

We’ll make sure that you’ll never get bored with our list of jokes. You can also share this one with your loved ones and you will surely laugh out loud. 

Hilarious Kid-Friendly Travel Jokes and Riddles

Yes, we all love riddles, but kids? It is extra special to them. They are good at solving tricky and funny Riddles!

It is the best way to keep your kids active and bond with them while traveling. Here are some mind tricking, hilarious and kid-friendly riddles.

  • A man travels to a town on Friday, stays for 2 nights, and travels back on Friday. How can this be? He was travelling on a horse called Friday.
Travel Jokes - A man travels to a town on Friday, stays for 2 nights, and travels back on Friday. How can this be?
  • Why are mountains the funniest place to travel? They’re Hill Areas
  • How can you tell elephants love to travel? Because they always pack their own trunk.
Travel Jokes - How can you tell elephants love to travel?
  • What do frogs like to drink on a hot summer’s day? Croak-a-Cola!
  • What did the pig say on the beach? I’m bacon!
  • Where do hamsters go on their holidays? To hamsterdam!
  • Where do cats always fly out when they travel? Kitty Hawk!
Travel Jokes - Where do cats always fly out when they travel?
  • How do rabbits get to their holiday destination? By hare-plane!
Travel Jokes - How do rabbits get to their holiday destination?
  • Where do pepperonis go on holidays? The Leaning Tower of Pizza!
  • What do you get when you cross an airplane with a magician? A flying sorcerer!
  • Where do cows go on vacation? Moo York!
Travel Jokes - Where do cows go on vacation?
  • Knock! knock! Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? Car go “Beep beep”!
Travel Jokes - Knock! knock! Who’s there? Cargo.
  • Where do sharks love to go on their holidays? Finland!
  • What goes through towns, up hills, and down hills but never moves? The road! 
Travel Jokes - What goes through towns, up hills, and down hills but never moves?
  • I flew to Africa. I bought a dog, I bought a phone case, I flew back. What did I buy first? The plane ticket.
Travel Jokes - I flew to Africa. I bought a dog, I bought a phone case, I flew back. What did I buy first?
  • I can travel from there to here by disappearing, and here to there by reappearing. What am I? The letter “T”.
  • Travel a mile and I will change, travel a million and I will end as I started. What am I? Odometer
Travel Jokes - Travel a mile and I will change, travel a million and I will end as I started. What am I?
  • What fruit always travels in groups of two? Pears
  • Used left or right, I get to travel, Over cobblestone or gravel. Used up, I vie for sweet success, Used down, I cause men great duress. What am I? Your Thumb
  • What can travel around the world while staying in a corner? A stamp.
Travel Jokes - What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?
  • I have lakes but no water, no cars but I have streets; Many places and borders, but I’m in one piece. What am I? A map
  • What is the cheapest way to travel? A sale-boat.
Travel Jokes - What is the cheapest way to travel?

Funny Jokes about Travels

As they say, to travel is to live. Yes, I agree with this!

Travel makes you feel recharge and fulfilled. Have fun with these funny jokes about Travel with your family and friends.

  • Traveling through the Midwest, I stopped at an Ohio welcome center to pick up a state map. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. Then I spotted two employees and asked whether they had any. “Sure,” said the first guy. “I’ll get you one.” As he walked to the back, the second guy explained, “We keep them in the storage room. If we leave them out on the counter, people just come in and take them.”
  • Why did the witch stay in a hotel? Because she heard they had great broom service.
  • Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You’ll know If I succeeded if Germany loses World War II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
Travel Jokes - Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history.
  • Why do red tsunamis travel so far? Longer Wavelength
Travel Jokes - Why do red tsunamis travel so far?
  • A man finally finds the secret to time travel. He says get on the plane and travel from Washington to Dallas. That way you’ll be traveling through time zones.
  • Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? No, you’re a poo!
Travel Jokes - Knock! Knock! Who's there? Europe.
  • Where is a teacher’s favorite holiday destination? Time Square
  • A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. “No, I’m travelling light”
Travel Jokes - A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
  • A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been traveling in circles. ”We’re lost!” One of the hikers complained. ”And you said you were the best guide in the United States.” ”I am,” the guide answered, ” but I think we may have wandered into Canada.”
  • A traveler became lost in the Sahara desert. Realizing his only chance for survival was to find civilization, he began walking. Time passed, and he became thirsty. More time passed, and he began feeling faint. He was on the verge of passing out when he spied a tent about 500 meters in front of him. Barely conscious, he reached the tent and called out, “Water…”.A bedouin appeared in the tent door and replied sympathetically, “I am sorry, sir, but I have no water. However, would you like to buy a tie?” With this, he brandished a collection of exquisite silken neckwear.”You fool,” gasped the man. “I’m dying! I need water!” “Well, sir,” replied the bedouin, “If you really need water, there is a tent about two kilometers south of here where you can get some.” Without knowing how, the man summoned sufficient strength to drag his parched body the distance to the second tent. With his last ounce of strength he tugged at the door of the tent and collapsed.  Another bedouin, dressed in a costly tuxedo, appeared at the door and enquired, “May I help you sir?” “Water…” was the feeble reply. “Oh, sir,” replied the bedouin, “I’m sorry, but you can’t come in here without a tie!”
  • During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, “I know I’m in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!” “The crackers are complimentary,” the voice at the other end cooly explained. “I believe you are complaining about your room number.”
  • Jacob: Why can’t basketball players go on summer vacation? Riley: Why not? Jacob: They’d get called for traveling!
Travel Jokes - Jacob: Why can’t basketball players go on summer vacation?
  • A man traveling through Thailand sees a monk light a fire with only the heat from his hands. He walks over to the Monk and says “how did you do that?” The monk replies “with enough training you can do things that appear impossible, what is the one thing you most want to achieve in life?” The man replies “I’d love to be able to jump as high as a house so I can compete in the NBA” the monk replies “go away and jump continuously every day for two years and return to me” the man heads away and starts practicing…He returns two years later and walks up to the monk angrily and says “I can jump much higher now but not higher than a house” the monk replies “yes you can idiot, houses can’t jump”.
  • A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there. A farmer replied, “Joe’s mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.” “Well,” replied the man, “she must have had a lot of friends.” “Nope,” said the farmer, “we all just want to buy his mule.”
  • For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn’t help but comment, “The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.” “Well, sir,” the attendant replied with a grin, “You’re really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.”
  • Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they literally can’t even.
Travel Jokes - Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers?
  • Jennifer had just returned to the United States after spending a month travelling around Europe. During her month away, she had been to Ireland, England, France, Spain, Italy, Germany, Switzerland, and Poland. Her husband Jimmy met her at the airline gate, gave her a huge hug, and asked, “So, how was it travelling around Europe?” “Oh, it was terrible”, Jennifer replied, “everywhere you go, it’s just full of foreigners”.
  • A man accompanied by his big ugly daughter was traveling on a lonely road when they were held by bandits and looted of his belongings. As the bandits disappeared in the distance, he moaned to his daughter, “I’m ruined. In years I saved those ninety thousand dollars. All my other worldly possessions were in that leather suitcase. I lost everything.“” Not everything, dad” The girl said coyly. “I saved the money.” What!” The man exclaimed, “You saved the money? How could you do that?” While the bandits were searching you, I stuffed the notes into my… well, you know what. Here they are.”The man grabbed the money, looked up at his daughter, and said, “Goddamnit, kid, if your mom had been along, we could have saved the suitcase, too.”
  • I’ve always wanted to travel to Finland, but I’m afraid I might disappear into FinAir!
Travel Jokes - I’ve always wanted to travel to Finland

One Liner Jokes about Travels

We believe that traveling shouldn’t be hard: it’s something everyone should be able to do at least once in their lives.

Here are some one-liner jokes for families, friends, and also kids who love to travel!

  • A time traveler was in a restaurant. He liked it so much… He went back four seconds.
  • I’d love to go to Holland one day…wooden shoe?
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Travel Jokes - Light travels faster than sound.
  • We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
Travel Jokes - We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
  • I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.
  • I have found a way to time travel! It’s called: “sleeping.
Travel Jokes - I have found a way to time travel

Funny Travel Quotes

Who doesn’t love a good laugh from puns and passive-aggressive remarks? Time to have a good laugh.

Check this collection of the funniest and most relatable travel quotes out there. Have and Enjoy!

  • Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once”.
  • When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money. – Susan Sontag
Travel Jokes - When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.
  •  “I want to make memories all around the world.”
Travel Jokes - I want to make memories all around the world.
  • I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine!
  • I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.
  • Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.
  • If traveling was free, BYE!
  • Me: “I want to travel more”, the bank account: ”Like, to the park?”
  • Everyone is pregnant, engaged, or getting married. I just wanna lose weight and travel.
Travel Jokes - Everyone is pregnant, engaged, or getting married.
  • Screw the caviar, I want to travel the world!
  • “You can’t buy happiness” Okay, explain travel then…
  • My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?

Traveling is the perfect entertainment for a person of any age. It helps you form a better understanding of yourselves, beliefs, and life but never forget to have fun and be naughty sometimes while doing it.

Since you came all the way down here, am I right to assume you want more?

Ok, I heard you, my recommendations for further laughs:

Fancy some short stories on family vacations? Take a look at these gems from readers digest.

Laugh with our traveling jokes and live life to the fullest. If you have a favorite travel joke, don’t forget to put it in the comments below so we can add it to this list of funny traveling jokes too.

About the author 

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast.Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.


Tags


You may also like

The Craziest Cow Jokes That Surely A-moo-sed You

The 40+ Best Road Trip Jokes for Driving Pleasure

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

Subscribe to our newsletter now!