Best Tuesday Jokes to Keep You Chuckling Throughout the Week

It’s time to say goodbye to Mondays and start the week with a little humor. If you’re like me, you don’t like Mondays and want to use that energy in the right way. Well, everyone needs a good joke, right?  If you’re feeling like you’re dragging all day, then take a minute to relax and read these Tuesday jokes that will make you laugh until your sides hurt.

Tuesday is a day that can sometimes be a little harder to get through. The weekend is over, and it’s back to the daily grind of work and school. There’s no need to stress about what you should do with your time; rather, enjoy these jokes that will make your day a little brighter.

Funniest Tuesday Jokes to Share

  • How do you make Tuesday zip by like a rocket?
    • Give it a head start by racing it with Wednesday!
  • What words of wisdom did the calendar whisper to Tuesday?
    • “You’re not half bad, but I’m still in a passionate affair with Saturday!”
  • Why did the cup of coffee dial 911 on Tuesday?
    • Because it got a taste of the “mug” life – talk about a “grounds” for alarm!
  • What’s Tuesday’s go-to musical genre?
    • It’s all about “Blues-day” tunes, perfect for grooving to those midweek vibes!
  • How does Tuesday regard Monday?
    • It sees Monday as the opening act that warms up the stage for the week’s grand performance – it’s all about building suspense!
  • What makes Sunday stronger than Tuesday?
    • Because Tuesday is a weekday.
  • Why did my neighbors have bare feet in their garden?
    • Because they were celebrating open Toesday!
  • On Tuesdays, what does a taxidermist do?
    • Nothing special, just the usual stuff.
  • What does a clean Tuesday mean?
    • A cluttered next weekend!
  • How come Sanders supporters didn’t vote for him on Super Tuesday?
    • Because they were too busy posting on Reddit.
  • What do you do on Tuesdays to keep the dreams alive?
    • By hitting the snooze button.
  • Tuesdays are less popular for air travel, why?
    • Because you’re supposed Tuesday on the ground.
  • What have Tuesday mornings and a stress ball in common?
    • They are both less busy than a Monday morning.
  • What made the employee worry that his Friday would be ruined?
    • Because it was still Tuesday morning.
  • Why didn’t “Get up and Go” attend the party on Tuesday?
    • Because he ‘Got up and Went’ somewhere else.
  •  Why can’t you change the decision of a seal saying “Tuesdays are the best”?
    • Because it is a seal of approval.
  • What makes people like Tuesday?
    • By thinking that it is the farthest from the coming Monday.
  • By how many days would Sunday reach Wednesday?
    • Twosday.
  • Is there any reason why Tuesday couldn’t have fun with his friends?
    • Because he could never see the weekend from there.
  • Is there anything better than a ‘happy Monday’?
    • A very ‘happy Tuesday’ indeed.  
  • What do you do when your baby chews food for the first time on Tuesday?
    • You call it a ‘Chewsday’.
  • Why can’t the students take a ferry on Tuesday to school?
    • Because they have tuesday(to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.
  • What are Tuesdays always up to?
    • They like to put the blame on Mondays.
  • When is the worst day for a loaf of bread?
    • It is a Toast Day!
  • What’s the best way to motivate yourself on Tuesdays?
    • Thinking that there is a taco, out there in the universe thinking of you too!
  • When the boy was really worried about Tuesday, what did the weeks tell him?
    • “Don’t worry, Friday is on its way”.
  •  Do you know what a clean Tuesday symbolizes?
    • A cluttered next weekend!
  • What makes people like Tuesday?
    • By thinking that it is the farthest from the coming Monday.

Tuesday Funny Short Stories

  • There is a secret to making a marriage last that my wife and I know.
    • We have good food and wine two times a week at a nice restaurant.
    • Her night is Tuesday, mine is Friday.
  • Last week, I broke my hand, and the doctors told me my cast wouldn’t come off for six weeks.
    • Don’t worry, I managed to pull it off after 5 days, I have no idea what they were talking about!
  • On Thursday, Harry went to his doctor to review his test results.
    • The doctor informed him that he had good news and bad news.
    • “Good news is you have 48 hours to live,” he said to Harry.
    • “Bad news is I should have told you on Tuesday.
  • My drinking days begin with “T”…
    • Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow.
  • Why didn’t the teacher read the news on Tuesday morning?
    • Because she didn’t want additional Tuesday mournings.

The Tuesday Blues Quiz

Author’s Note

In the comedy lineup of weekdays, Tuesday may be the underappreciated opening act, but it’s always ripe for a laugh! So, embrace the humor, and let Tuesday tickle your funny bone on its way to hump day!

The first rule of comedy is to look for a reason to laugh. It’s true that laughter is the best medicine, so read these funny Tuesday jokes that will make you smile and appreciate life more. Enjoy these funny jokes for this week and laugh it up!

Enjoy these funny jokes that will also make your week better. Browse our collection to find the funniest jokes, motivating quotes, and inspiring songs.

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