Funny Vacation Jokes

by Regine  |  19 Jan 2021

Who would love to go on a vacation? Definitely everyone!

Vacation means leaving everything behind while enjoying and creating memories.

We know that everyone didn’t have any vacation for now because of the worldwide health crisis, but we are hoping that this will end soon. Going on a vacation relieves our stress from work, having our self relax even just for a while.

Moving on, why don’t you travel with us first as you browse all our vacations jokes especially made for everyone. Have a fantastic ride with us while enjoying these hilarious vacation jokes.

Vacation Jokes about Kids and Teens

Teenagers nowadays love travelling with their best buddies. Sometimes, they want to go for a long ride just to calm their minds from stress or for whatever reasons. 

Therefore, we put together these vacation jokes for teens for you to browse while having your vacation. Enjoy each joke with your best bud while making memories together!

  • First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation. Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport? First woman: Oh, no. I’ve known him for years!
  • Do you have any clue what bread does on vacation? It loafs around!
  • We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out. Lew Schneider
  • Where did the sheep go on vacation? The baaaahamas!
  • Traveling on a train for too long: Conductor on a train: “But sir, you cannot travel with this! This is a child’s ticket! You’re at least 19 years old!” Backpacker: “You see how horribly long your delays are? You should be ashamed!”
  • So this couple goes on vacation to Moscow… One night they decide to take a horse and buggy sight-seeing. They get in a carriage and the driver introduces himself as Rudolf. Off they go. Unfortunately, the weather turns foul on them. “Darn. It looks like rain,” the husband says. “No. Is drizzle,” says the driver. “Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s a full rain,” says the husband. “No! Is drizzle!” the driver repeats, louder now. “Honestly, we should have brought our umbrellas. This is definitely rain!” the husband repeats. The driver stops the horse. He turns and points angrily. “No! Is drizzle!” The husband is about to argue, but his wife stops him. “Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear.”
  • The Smartest Boy Ever! One day, during the summer vacation, my three-year-old brother scared the wits out of everyone by disappearing. Each one of us, including our aunt and uncle, looked through the shoreline and forest. After a couple of hours, we found him chasing butterflies in the woods. Our worried mother told him sharply, “Listen, Jack, from today onwards, whenever you want to go someplace, you tell me first. Is that okay? Jack thought for a while and said, “Okay, I want to go to Disney World tomorrow”!
  •  I need a friend I can call in the middle of the night, tell him we have to leave, and the only sentence coming back is “when do we leave?”
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Europe Europe who? No, you are! 
  • On vacation in Hawaii, my step- mom, Sandy, called a café to make reservations for 7 p.m. Checking her book, the cheery young hostess said, “I’m sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?” “That’s fine,” Sandy said. “Okay,” the woman confirmed. Then she added, “Just be advised you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table.”
  • What travels around the world but stays in one place?     A Stamp 
  • Can’t take that chance… A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150.” The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?” The man replied, “Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.” 
  • Friend: Let’s go to Bora Bora. Me: Man, I wanna go, but I’m pora pora.
  • Where do sharks go on vacation? Fin-land.
  • In A Hurry… A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novacaine because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear.” 
  • I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m going to have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down. 
  • Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks 3 months after coming home. 
  • A husband and wife… A husband and wife are celebrating their 10th anniversary. The husband surprises her and takes her on a vacation to a tropical island, far away. Getting excited the wife says, “If this is for our 10th anniversary then what are you planning for our 25th?” The husband says back, “I’ll send over a jet to pick you up.” 
  • I’ve always wanted to travel to Finland…but I’m afraid I might disappear into FinAir! 
  • Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school. Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait just a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!; couldn’t you show me the same courtesy?” 
  • This is the first time I can’t go on vacation around the world because of the pandemic. Usually it’s because I just can’t afford it.
  • A young guy turns up at a hotel reception: “I’d like a single room, please.” “Certainly, sir,” says the receptionist. “With bath or shower?” The guy is a bit short of cash, so he asks, “What’s the difference?” “You have to stand in the shower,” says the receptionist.
  • Teacher: Johnny, please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence. Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my mom was bringing on vacation, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.” 
  • Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland. 
  • Why did Mister Krabs not invite Spongebob to go on vacation? Because he is absolutely Shellfish.

Funny Vacation Quotes

Let’s make our life simple yet happy with these funny vacation quotes. Don’t let simple quotes fool you, as simple as it is, you will never regret reading and taking note of our funny vacation quotes.

So, sit back and relax as you browse our quotes to cheer up your day!

  • I’ve finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I’m dealing with the emotional baggage. 
  • I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.
  • Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas and take your next trip in kilometers.
  • I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.
  • Airports: the only place where drinking 8:00 AM is socially acceptable.
  • Me: “I want to travel more”, the bank account: “”Like, to the park?”
  • I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!
  • You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license.
  • “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker
  • “I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords.”
  • “Notriphobia (n.) the fear of not having any trips booked.”
  • “Having to unpack my suitcase after vacation is like the ultimate emotional baggage.”
  • The only solution to my stress is a vacation. But my pockets are saying no! I have no idea what to do with my life anymore.

Funny Vacation Riddles

Everybody loves riddles. Although it may be hard to guess or answer it at first, you will find the funny humor behind it.

Riddles are good for all ages and it will never go old. It’s also good as a pastime game especially when you are travelling with your friends or family. 

Here is a list of funny vacation riddles. Play it with your friends while travelling and we assure you, no one will get bored with these riddles. 

  • The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? Answer: Footsteps
  • I look flat, but I am deep, Hidden realms I shelter. Lives I take, but food I offer. At times I am beautiful. I can be calm, angry and turbulent. I have no heart, but offer pleasure as well as death. No man can own me, yet I encompass what all men must have. Answer: Ocean.
  • You have me today. Tomorrow you’ll have more. As your time passes, I’m not easy to store. I don’t take up space, but I’m only in one place. I am what you saw, but not what you see. What am I? Answer: Memories
  • What goes through towns, up hills, and down hills but never moves?   Answer: The road!
  • I flew to Africa. I bought a dog, I bought a phone case, I flew back. What did I buy first? Answer: The plane ticket.
  • I can fly but have no wings. I can cry but I have no eyes. Wherever I go, darkness  follows me. What am I? Answer: Clouds
  • What goes around the city but never moves? Answer: Walls.
  • I am a certain type of land mass With water surrounding me You might come to me for vacation An example’s Hawaii Answer: Island
  • A woman goes for vacation on Wednesday and comes back on Monday. How was she gone for a week? Answer: The week ends on Sunday.
  •  I bring music wherever I go. I keep things very cold. I have wheels. People give my driver money and he gives them treats. What am I? Answer: An ice-cream van!
  • A group of campers have been on vacation so long that they’ve forgotten the day of the week. The following conversation ensues. Darryl: What’s the day? I don’t think it is Thursday, Friday or Saturday. Tracy: Well that doesn’t narrow it down much. Yesterday was Sunday. Melissa: Yesterday wasn’t Sunday, tomorrow is Sunday. Ben: The day after tomorrow is Saturday. Adrienne: The day before yesterday was Thursday. Susie: Tomorrow is Saturday. David: I know that the day after tomorrow is not Friday. If only one person’s statement is true, what day of the week is it? Answer: It is Wednesday.

Funny Vacation Captions

Having a vacation is like a reward for yourself. It is a much needed break away from stress and from being tired from work and school work.

In today’s generation, almost all of us want to take pictures during our vacation.

It serves as a remembrance of how happy we are during this time. Aside from taking pictures, you will be uploading it to your social media. Along with that uploaded pictures is a caption.

So, here are some funny but catchy captions for your future pictures.

  • “You told me it was Chile in South America. But I don’t Bolivia.”
  • There is no such thing as vacation overdose. If you think your vacation is too long, then you probably need another vacation.
  • “Forget champagne and caviar – Taste the world instead!” – Hostelgeeks 
  • It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting. 
  • Excuse me while I taunt my social network friends with another picture of my vacation.
  • “Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” – Susan Sontag

That all being said, we hope that these travel jokes made your faces smile. Travel and see the beauty of the world.

Never forget these funny vacation jokes, riddles, quotes and captions in your baggage for a more memorable vacation.

Have fun and don’t forget to share it with the world.

About the author 



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