Who wouldn’t love to go on vacation? We all do! How about a joke? Absolutely everyone. We’ve heard you! Check out these hilarious vacation jokes!
Vacation means leaving everything behind while enjoying and creating memories. So have a fantastic ride with us while enjoying these hilarious jokes.
Vacation Jokes about Kids and Teens
Teenagers nowadays love travelling with their best buddies. Sometimes, they want to go for a long ride just to calm their minds from stress or for whatever reasons.
Therefore, we put together these vacation jokes for teens for you to browse while having your vacation. Enjoy each joke with your best bud while making memories together!
- First woman: My son visited me for summer vacation.
- Second woman: That’s great! Did you meet him at the airport?
- First woman: Oh, no! I have known him for years!
- Mummies don’t go on vacation, why?
- Because they are afraid of relaxation and unwinding.
- When math teachers go on vacation, where do they go?
- To Times Square.
- Do you know what bread does on vacation?
- It loafs around!
- When we go to the beach with the kids, we use a really strong sunblock.
- It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out. Lew Schneider
- When crayons go on vacation, where do they go?
- Where do fleas go on vacation in the summer?
- Search me!
- Where did the shepherd take the sheep on vacation?
- The baaaahamas!
- Traveling on a train for too long:
- Conductor on a train: “But sir, the ticket is a child’s ticket! You must be at least 19 years of age to travel with it!”
- Backpacker: “You see how horribly long your delays are? You should be ashamed!”
- The couple travels to Moscow for their vacation…
- On one particular night, they decide to take a horse and buggy sight-seeing.
- Upon entering the carriage, the driver says his name is Rudolf.
- On their journey, the weather turns foul on them. “Darn. It looks like rain,” the husband says.
- “No. Is drizzle,” says the driver. ”
- Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s a full rain,” says the husband.
- “No! Is drizzle!” the driver repeats, louder now.
- “Honestly, we should have brought our umbrellas. This is definitely rain!” the husband repeats.
- The driver stops the horse. He turns and points angrily.
- “No! Is drizzle!” The husband is about to argue, but his wife stops him. “Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear.”
- The Smartest Boy Ever!
- In the summer, I can remember my three-year-old brother scaring the living daylights out of everyone by disappearing one day.
- We all looked through the shoreline and forest.
- After a couple of hours, we saw him chasing butterflies in the woods.
- My mother told him sharply, “Now, Jack, every time you want to go somewhere, you have to tell me first. Is that okay?”
- Jack thought it over and said, “Okay, I want to go to Disney World tomorrow”!
- I need a friend I can call in the middle of the night, tell him that we have to leave, and all he can say is,
- “When are we leaving?”
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Europe who?
- No, you are!
- My step-mother Sandy called a café in Hawaii to make reservations for 7 p.m.
- Looking at her schedule, the young hostess said, “I’m sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?”
- “That’s fine,” Sandy said.
- “Okay,” the woman confirmed.
- Then she added, “Just keep in mind that you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table.”
- What travels around the globe but stays in one place?
- A Stamp.
- Where do bees go on vacation?
- Why can’t basketball players take summer vacations?
- They’d get called for traveling!
- Can’t take that chance…
- The husband and his ever-nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem when the wife passed away.
- The undertaker told the husband, “For $150, you can bury her here or have her shipped home for $5,000.”
- The man thought about it, and said he would just have her sent home.
- The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when you could be buried here and only pay $150?”
- The man replied, “One time a man died here, was buried here, and was resurrected three days later. I don’t want to take that chance.”
- Friend: Let’s go to Bora Bora.
- Me: Man, I want to, but I’m pora pora.
- How do goblins keep in touch with their friends while on vacation?
- On vacation, where do goldfish go?
- Around the globe!
- In what part of the world do sharks go for vacation?
- In A Hurry…
- A couple had to make an interruption in their vacation to visit the dentist.
- “I need a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novacaine because I’m in a hurry,” the woman said.
- “Let’s get rid of that tooth as quickly as possible, then we’ll be on our way.”
- The dentist was quite impressed. “I consider you to be a very brave woman.”, he said. “Which tooth is it?”
- The woman turned to her husband and said, “Please show him your tooth, dear.”
- I wanna hang a world map in my house.
- Then I’m gonna place pins in all the places I’ve been.
- But first, I have to reach the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.
- Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip.
- Unpacks 3 months after returning home.
- A husband and wife…
- Two people are celebrating their 10th anniversary.
- The husband takes the wife on a tropical island far away for a vacation.
- Getting excited the wife says, “If we are celebrating our 10th anniversary this way, how do you envision our 25th anniversary?”
- The husband says back, “I’ll send over a jet to pick you up.”
- Traveling to Finland has always been one of my dreams…
- but I’m afraid I might disappear into FinAir!
- Little Johnny returned to school after the summer break.
- He only had two days before his teacher called his mother to inform her of his misbehavior.
- “Wait just a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and didn’t call you once when he misbehaved, why won’t you do the same for me?”
- It is the first time I cannot leave the country due to this pandemic.
- It’s usually because I can’t afford it.
- A young guy turns up at the hotel reception: “Please let me have a single room.”
- “Certainly, sir,” says the receptionist. “With bath or shower?”
- The guy’s money is a bit tight, so he asks, “What’s the difference?”
- “You have to stand in the shower,” says the receptionist.
- Teacher: Please use the word “letter carrier” in a sentence, Johnny.
- Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “Dad told me he’d rather letter carrier own luggage after seeing how many things my mom was bringing on vacation.”
- Europeans: After driving 40 minutes to Paris, I stopped off in Germany to visit family on my way home.
- Australians: In Queensland, I drove for 18 hours. I’m still in Queensland.
- Why didn’t Mister Krabs offer Spongebob a vacation?
- Because he is absolutely Shellfish.
Funny Vacation Quotes
Let’s make our life simple yet happy with these funny vacation quotes. Don’t let simple quotes fool you, as simple as it is, you will never regret reading and taking note of our funny vacation quotes.
- I finally told my suitcases that there would be no holiday this year.
- Now I’m dealing with this emotional baggage.
- It makes me wonder how many miles I have scrolled with my thumb.
- Miles are longer than kilometers.
- Save fuel by taking a trip in kilometers.
- It would be great if travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.
- Airports: is one and only place where drinking at 8:00AM is considered socially acceptable.
- Me: “I want to go on more travels.”
- the bank account: “Like, to the park?”
- It would be great if I could take a 6-month vacation.
- Twice a year!
- When you start looking like the person in your driving license,
- you know it’s time for a vacation.
- “Having other tourists recognize you as a tourist is the worst part of being a tourist.” – Russell Baker
- “My vacation is so long, I forget all my passwords.”
- “Notriphobia (n.) the fear of not having any trips booked.”
- “Unpacking my suitcase after a vacation is like the ultimate emotional burden.”
- My only solution to this stress is a vacation.
- But my pockets say no! I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
Funny Vacation Riddles
Everybody loves riddles, especially on vacation. Although it may be hard to guess or answer it at first, you will find the funny humor behind it.
Riddles are good for all ages and it will never go old. It’s also good as a pastime game especially when you are travelling with your friends or family. Check out these interesting riddles too: Easy Riddles With Answers, Funny Riddles for Children, Top Riddles for Adults.
Here is a list of funny vacation riddles. Play it with your friends while travelling and we assure you, no one will get bored with these riddles.
- The more you take, the more you leave behind. Who am I?
- I look flat, but I am deep, Hidden realms I shelter. Lives I take, but food I give. At moments I am lovely. I can be quiet, furious and turbulent. I have no heart, but offer pleasure as well as death. No man can own me, yet I encompass what all men must have.
- Today you have me. Tomorrow you’ll have more. As your time passes, I’m harder to store. I don’t take up much space, but I’m only in one place. I am what you see, but I’m not what you see. What am I?
- Is there something that goes through towns, up hills, and down hills, but never moves?
- The road!
- I flew to Africa. I bought a dog, a phone case, and I flew back. What was the first thing I bought?
- The plane ticket.
- Wherever I go, I am followed by darkness. I may fly but I have no wings. I may cry, but I have no eyes. What am I?
- What goes around the city but does not move?
- A land mass with water surrounding me. You might come to me for vacation. An example’s Hawaii.
- A woman goes on vacation on Wednesday and returns on Monday. How was she gone for a week?
- The week ends on Sunday.
- I bring music wherever I go. I keep things very cold. I have wheels. People give me money and my driver gives them treats. What am I?
- An ice-cream van!
- A group of campers are on vacation so long that they have forgotten the day of the week. The following conversation ensues.
- Darryl: What day is it? I don’t think it’s Thursday, Friday, or Saturday.
- Tracy: I don’t think that narrows it down much. Yesterday was Sunday.
- Melissa: Yesterday wasn’t Sunday, but it’s Sunday tomorrow.
- Ben: The day after tomorrow is Saturday.
- Adrienne: The day before yesterday was Thursday.
- Susie: Tomorrow is Saturday.
- David: The day after tomorrow is not Friday.
- If only one person’s statement is true, what day of the week is it?
- It is Wednesday.
Funny Vacation Captions
Having a vacation is like a reward for yourself. It is a much needed break away from stress and from being tired from work and school work.
In today’s generation, almost all of us want to take pictures during our vacation.
It serves as a remembrance of how happy we are during this time. Aside from taking pictures, you will be uploading them to your social media. Along with that uploaded pictures is a caption.
So, here are some funny but catchy captions for your future pictures.
- “In South America I believe it is Chile. But I don’t Bolivia.”
- Vacation overdose is a myth. If you think your vacation was too long, then you probably need another vacation.
- “Don’t bother with champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!” – Hostelgeeks
- It’s disrespectful to keep a vacation waiting.
- Excuse me while I show my social network friends one more photograph from my vacation.
- “Taking photographs as you travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” – Susan Sontag
That all being said, we hope that these vacation jokes made your faces smile. Travel and see the beauty of the world.
Take these funny jokes, riddles, quotes, and captions with you in your baggage for a more memorable vacation. Have fun and if you like them, don’t forget to share them with the world.
Tired of reading? Head to pinterest for some vacation cartoons.