Tomato Jokes You Will Laugh so Hard You’ll Blush

You’ll be blushing from ear to ear after you read these tomato jokes! 

Tomatoes are the best, and it’s not just because they’re juicy. They’re also everyone’s favorite fruit in disguise. That means that tomatoes can do anything a fruit can do, but with more style. 

So what are you waiting for? Find out why tomatoes are the funniest thing around!

Tomato Jokes

  • The type of tomato that smells best is? A Roma
  • What makes tomatoes the slowest vegetable? Because they can’t ketchup.
  • A man threw dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me to start a fight. I asked, “You wanna pizza me?”.”
  • What caused the bread to knock over the tomato? Because he loafed him.
  • After the first watering of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s tomato seeds, what did he say to them? You have been germinated.
  • What is the best way to fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  • What is the tomato’s greatest desire? A jerrymato.
  • When the cucumber and the cabbage got kidnapped by the tomato, what did they say to each other? Lettuce go.
  • Could you tell me what the potato told the tomato? I wonder what’s making you blush, sweetie?
  • Is there anything red and invisible? No tomatoes.
  • What did the sergeant tomato tell the slacker soldier tomato? “You better catch up!”
  • What caused Mrs. Tomato to turn red? Suddenly, she saw Mr. Green Pea!
  • When the pasta saw the tomato, what did it say? “Don’t get saucy with me!”
  • Tomates love dances, so what’s their favorite? Salsa!
  • Why a tomato round and red? If it were long and green, it would be a  cucumber!
  • Do tomatoes and potatoes have anything in common? Toes.
  • Is there anything Bacon said to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
  • How do you describe a tomato with a trumpet? A tooty fruity.
  • What do boats eat with a spoon? Tomato sloop!

Tomato One-Liners and Knock Knocks

  • My landscaper isn’t very bright. In order to plant my tomatoes, I asked him for one yard of topsoil. In total, 75 dump trucks have delivered soil covering my entire yard to a depth of 12 inches.
  • There are tomatoes growing in my neighbor’s car… He has been spraying water  through the window for hours!
  • While walking downtown one day, a family of three tomatoes began to lag behind the baby tomato. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, smashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”
  • The worst part of salsa dancing is cleaning up the tomato stains afterward.
  • Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • I missed the documentary on how tomato sauce is made on TV… I guess I will have to watch it on Ketchup.
  • I used to bathe in tomato ketchup. In heinz-site, it wasn’t the best idea.
  • On my blended tomatoes, I like to add coriander. It is a soup herb.
  • Puns about vegetables make me feel good… from my head tomatoes.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup and I’ll tell you!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup my slow tomatoes!

We all know tomatoes are funny, but these jokes will have you rolling on the floor laughing so hard your cheeks turn red. Did you know that a tomato is actually a fruit? It’s true! You’ve probably never heard of an apple with seeds before. Get the most out of these tomato jokes by sharing them with your loved ones.

Are you looking for more funny jokes to share? There’s no need to worry, we have you covered! Here are a few of our funniest jokes that you’ll surely enjoy. Also, check out the entire collection of Funny Jokes Today if you want more puns.

Are you attending a costume party any time soon? Here are some funny tomato costume ideas.

About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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