Funny British Jokes That Will Leave You Gobsmacked

You’ve come to the right place if you’re looking for some hilarious British jokes. 

My favorite thing about the British is their sense of humor. Lightheartedness and seriousness are the characteristics that make them so endearing. That’s why these jokes are a must-read for those who love British humor.

Here are some hilarious British jokes that will make you aghast. 

Funny British Jokes

The best British jokes leave a person speechless. I’m sure you’ll feel the same way about these.

  • What is the reason for British people driving on the left? Because they have no rights.
  • When British women have their periods, what do they call them? A bloody mess.
  • Is there anything the Lochness monster likes to eat? Fish & Ships.
  • Can you explain why no one in the royal family goes to Starbucks? Royal-tea does not appear on their menu.
  • What is the reason that England doesn’t have a kidney bank? The city has a Liverpool.
  • The conjoined twins went to Great Britain for what reason? So the other one could learn to drive.
  • How do people in Scotland, England, Northern Ireland, and Wales communicate about their well-being? U K?
  • The evil man tried to poison the baker and his assistant for what reason? Apparently, he wanted to try killing two Brits with a scone.
  • What was the reason children always had to keep a 3-foot distance from English kings? The kings had limited heirspace.
  • When London doesn’t have electricity, what is it called? Londoff.
  • How would you describe a train full of lecturers in London? A tube filled with smarties.
  • Why did the tourist get his eyesight fixed before going to Britain? He wanted to see the London eye.
  • Where were a bunch of British people attacked by chickens? Peckham.
  • What’s the deal with everyone in London being late all the time? They’re always nearly on the Thames.
  • What do British people eat for breakfast? Cheerios mate!
  • What is the main difference between ohms and watts? Watts measure energy, while Ohms are the places that Brits reside in.
  • Why do the British lose weight faster than other people? They lose some pounds every time they purchase something!
  • Why do you never see penguins in Great Britain? Because they’re scared of Wales.
  • Which nuts are British people’s favorites? Chess Nuts.
  • If a British person takes a close look at something, how would you describe it? A propaganda.

You’ll laugh the whole time reading these funny American jokes and Italian puns.

Hilarious British One-Liners and Puns

Among teens and millennials, British one-liners and puns are a hit. You’ll have a blast with them because they’re hip, trendy, and hilarious. If you love British things, check these out! 

  • It drives me crazy when British people talk about the big pile of trash in the ocean. They shouldn’t talk like that about their country.
  • They’d call it ‘Game Of Scones’ if they were going to create a British food adaptation of ‘Game Of Thrones.
  • In London, a couple was standing under the famous clock when the husband said, “I wish we were here when Ben was being built.”
  • A friend of mine who sells ice cream is obsessed with British music. In fact, he named his ice cream shop ‘The Rolling Cones’.
  • Earlier this week, my sister returned from her summer semester in England. Now she’s very austen-tacious.
  • The locksmith service was started by a British man in July 2020. Surelock Homes is what he named it.
  • One of the most famous barbers in England is called…  Jack The Clipper.
  • Recently, a friend of mine started a business that provides haircuts to British travelers. The company is called British Hairways.
  • A British cousin of mine recently opened up her own fish and chips shop. She called it ‘Oh My Cod’.

You probably found this blog post useful for trying on goggles and trying to catch your breath. Known for their lighthearted sense of humor, the British are not difficult to get along with. 

Lightheartedness gives them that unique endearing factor which is beautiful, but also rewarding because they are so welcoming when you come across them, especially on your London vacation! 

Feel free to leave a comment below about how you felt about these jokes! Funny Jokes Today has plenty of one-liners, puns, and motivational quotes, so make sure to check out our site.

To laugh more, let’s check out these bizarre things that only British people do.

Leave a comment