Italian Jokes That Will Make You Laugh All Day

Italians are said to have one of the best senses of humor. It is not only that Italian jokes are downright funny, but they can also be so clever that it takes a few seconds for the joke to hit you. 

Italians love irony, but they prefer irony that is both deep and yet regular so that they can understand it immediately after hearing it.

We selected 35 of the best Italian jokes in this article that clearly fall into the Italian humorous category.

Funny Italian Jokes

  • What do you call an Italian astronaut?
    • A “macaronauti” – because even in space, they can’t resist the allure of pasta orbits and pizza galaxies!
  • How do you spot an Italian at the beach?
    • They’re the ones who bring a pizza float, and when it’s time to swim, they shout, “Pizza-asta la vista, baby!”
  • How do you organize a pasta party?
  • You “spaghetti” and invite everyone, and when things get rolling, you can’t “pasta” up a good time!
  • Why did the Italian chef quit his job?
    • He just couldn’t make enough “dough” to knead a living out of it! He said, “Ciao, pasta-tively not worth it!”
  • How do Italian mothers greet their children?
    • “Pasta sauce the parmesan!” And then they shower them with marinara love!
  • What’s the best way to speak Italian?
    • With your hands – it’s all about the “gesture”! Italians express themselves so passionately, they might accidentally launch a pepperoni missile while discussing pizza preferences!
  • When the English priest had a funeral for an Italian cook, what did he say?
    • “He pasta way.”
  • The Mafia crossed the road for what reason?
    • Forget about it.
  • When you cross an Italian with a Jew, what do you get?
    • Olive Garden.
  • What are some ways to tell if an Italian is in the Mafia?
    • A broken leg of lamb is his favorite dish.
  • How do you say goodbye in Italian with four letters?
    • “BANG”!
  • When an Italian cheese makes music, what do you call it?
    • Mozz-art.
  • What is the best way to identify the Italian at the Cockfight?
    • He’s the one who bets on the duck.
  • What do you call an Italian who marries a Polish?
    • A social climber.
  • What happened when Mia Khalifa was impregnated by an Italian man?
    • Mama Mia!
  • What is the beginning of every Italian joke?
    • Taking a glance over your shoulder.
  • Is there a difference between a smart Italian and a unicorn?
    • Nothing, they’re both fictional characters.
  • What’s the name of the Italian dessert where you pour espresso coffee over ice cream?
    • Everyone I ask can’t remember either.
  • Have you heard about the winner of the Italian beauty contest?
    • Me neither.
  • FIAT stands for what?
    • Fix-It Again, Tony!
  • If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
  • How come polish jokes are so short?
    • In order for the Italians to understand them.
  • What is the name of the Italian baker who gives backrubs?
    • A Tira-masseuse.
  • What is the reason for the mustaches of Italian men?
    • In order to look like their mothers.
  • What kind of person orders an Italian sub?
    • An Italian dom.
  • How do you teach an Italian how to swim?
    • You should ask them to explain something to you before you jump into the ocean with them.
  • How do you describe a pimple in Italian?
    • A grease fitting.
  • Have you heard about the Italian guy who had both his arms amputated?
    • He never talked again.
  • Why are Italians known as magicians?
    • They can make people disappear.
  • Do Deaf people and Italians have anything in common?
    • Both of them talk with their  hands.

Laugh your way to happiness by reading these posts on New York jokes, Canada jokes, and Spain  jokes.

Italian One-Liners and Knock Knocks

  • A new aircraft engine division of General Electric has been acquired by Alitalia, an Italian airline.
    • “Genitalia” will be the name of the new company.
  • A piece of ancient Italian art was given to me by my wife.
    • It was rome-antique.
  • I had a Spicy Italian 6″ last night…
    • and then he and I went to Subway.
  • When a Roman walks into a bar, he holds up two fingers and says…
    • “Five, please.”
  • When I discovered bugs in my food at a fancy Italian restaurant, I stormed out.
    • It turned out to be the anty pasto.
  • Here are two ways to tell you’re an Italian in the 21st century…
    • You just entered your password into the microwave.
  • I am writing an opera about pasta in Italian.
    • I hope it’s successful.
    • Otherwise, I may  have to rigatoni.
  • Knock! Knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Italy.
    • Italy who?
    • Italy (it will be) all over in the morning.
  • Knock! Knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Rome.
    • Rome who?
    • Rome is where the heart is!
  • Knock! Knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Venice.
    • Venice who?
    • Venice, when does your mom get home?

The Italian Food Quiz

Author’s Note

Italian humor is characterized by their tendency to joke about themselves, and they don’t usually find it offensive. Many Italians find it amusing since it is always relatable, even though it is sardonic.

What about you? What’s your favorite Italian joke? We want to hear from you! Please share it with us in the comments section.

Check out Funny Jokes Today‘s entire collection to find more puns.

These are the Top 10 Fun Facts About Italian People.

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