A Laugh-Out-Loud List of American Jokes

America is a funny country. It is a country full of laughter and a country that enjoys laughter in all forms. 

You will find in this blog a list of American jokes that will make you laugh hysterically.

The American sense of humor is something that is unique to the people who live here. Many people travel to America for comedy tours and shows because it is one of the funniest countries in the world. 

Funny American Jokes

  • Why did the American cheese apply for a job at the bakery?
    • Because it wanted to be the “grate”-est!
  • How do American cows stay fit?
    • They moo-ve to the pasture and enjoy a “grass-fed” lifestyle!
  • Why did the American hamburger go to the gym?
    • To get a little more “bun” in shape!
  • What’s an American superhero’s favorite snack?
    • Just-ice cream!
  • Why did the American football team go to the bank?
    • To get their quarterback!
  • How do Americans stay warm in the winter?
    • They “star-spangle” and wear lots of layers!
  • Can you tell me the name of a bee found in America?
    • A USB.
  • Is there a difference between America and a bottle of milk?
    • By 200 years from now, milk will  have developed a culture.
  • What was the favorite drink of Osama Bin Laden?
    • A Double Manhattan.
  • How many Americans would it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
    • 4.
  • Do you know why God created wars?
    • In order to teach Americans geography.
  • Emo kids suicide live streams are called what?
    • America’s funniest home videos.
  • What happened to the American after he broke his arm?
    • He went broke.
  • What makes America incapable of playing chess?
    • Because it lost two towers.
  • What’s the difference between America and yogurt?
    • Leaving yogurt alone for 300 years makes it grow a culture.
  • What do you call someone who speaks one language if they speak two languages and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual?
    • An American.
  • What makes America better at rapping than Japan?
    • It is because they are more proficient at  dropping bombs.
  • In America, why would it be bad to hunt bald eagles?
    • Because it’s ill-eagle.
  • In a year, what do you call America?
    • A Wasteland.
  • In America, what do you call a worker who works hard for fair pay and never complains?
    • An immigrant.
  • What is the name of the country that needs another race to remain the best in  sports?
    • America.
  • What are the differences between an American and a computer?
    • American’s don’t have trouble shooting.
  • Is there anything in common between sex in a canoe and American beer?
    • They’re both f*cking close to water.
  • What is big, annoying, and filled with blubber?
    • 90% of America’s population.
  • What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
    • His hands scratch mercilessly against the coffin walls as he screams in terror.

Hilarious American One-Liners

  • At one time, Fortnite was like America.
    • It was good and free.
    • Now it’s neither.
  • The whole family can enjoy necropophilia in Alabama,
    • even grandma.
  • When I was watching the chief of police in America, he said that 911 will never be forgotten.
    • I hoped it wasn’t your phone number.
  • The Twin Towers were hit by planes in America.
    • The Twin Towers were hit by planes in Soviet Russia.
  • Obama was America’s first black president,
    • while Trump was their first orange one.
  • I received a call from a friend asking “Hey, are you free tonight?”.
    • And I say of course, I’m American.

Author’s Note

In my opinion, America is a funny country. It is full of laughter and hundreds of years ago people traveled to America for comedy tours when it was one of the funniest countries in the world. Nowadays, people visit here to see comedians such as George Carlin or Jim Jefferies because it is considered one of the funniest countries in the world. 

How do you feel about these jokes? We have plenty of funny puns here at Funny Jokes Today, so make sure you check out our site.

Below you will find some of the funniest jokes and inspirational quotes that you will never forget! Enjoy!

You can’t help but laugh at these hilarious videos from Americans

What’s your Reaction?
Photo of author

About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

You will also enjoy...

Leave a comment