Milkman Jokes That Are So Hilarious and Not Too Dairy

Milkman jokes are pretty common if you live in the United States. These jokes are harmless enough to make you giggle, but not so funny that they are offensive to the people who deliver your milk. 

These jokes can be a fun way to pass the time, and they don’t often take too long to tell either. They’re classic and still funny. So sit back and prepare to laugh as we share you the funniest Milkman Jokes.

Humorous Milkman Jokes & Stories

  • When the milkman tried to milk the bull, what did he say? Take the udder one!
  • The milkman was fired for what reason? Because he was always lait.
  • What is the best way to tell a milkman he has manboobs? “I’d like to C a cup from your jugs.”
  • What does an Arabian milkman love to drink? Milkshaikh.
  • What is the milkman’s treatment of his children? He spoils them.
  • What makes milk the fastest thing ever? Because it’s pasteurized before you see it.
  • Why did the Milkman lose his job? He was skimming off the top.
  • The milkman was afraid on Christmas Eve for what reason? The ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.
  • What do you call a milkman who wears high heels? A Dairy Queen.
  • A milkman from Arab is called what? Milk shake.
  •  When the milkman died, where did he go? The creama-torium.
  • Does anyone know who wrote the book The Russian Milkman? Ipul Titsky.
  • The milkman played basketball for what reason? He could always make a half quart.
  • On the other side of the street, I walked into the milkman and my wife. She says “don’t tell the butcher” right away!
  • A woman goes into labor with her child. A doctor says they have invented a device that transfers the pain of childbirth to the father. The doctor asks if it is okay to use the new device. It is agreed that the father needs to bear 10% of the pain. The man does not feel anything. So they bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they went home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
  • The lady asked the milkman to fill the tub with milk. So the milkman says, “would you like that milk pasteurized?”. “I can splash it on my eyes as well as my boobs.” she says.
  • When the psychic told me that my father would die the very next day, I was shocked. The next day, when the milkman suffered a heart attack and died, I was just as shocked.
  • One day a man comes home and says to his wife, “It appears the milkman has slept with all but one woman on this street.” “I bet it’s that stuck up cow at number 12”, his wife replies.
  • My son took the milkman’s truck for a joyride. He is grounded big time, how dairy.
  • I once met a milkman who moonlights as a Mexican wrestler. They called him a Lechedor.
  • The milkman dropped off milk one day. Upon seeing it, the boy asked, “Do you know where my dad is?”. The milkman replies, I am your dad, then runs off like batman.
  • My friend and I look very much alike. Whenever someone ask if we’re brother’s, I say, “No we’re not, but my dad is a milkman”.

Milkman jokes are a great way to get a laugh while also having some fun with dairy products. These jokes are for everyone who likes milk, dairy products, or just laughs. 

Discover our complete collection of hilarious jokes, motivational quotes, inspirational videos and songs. It will brighten your day and make it more enjoyable. You can see some of them below. 

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