Funny Graduation Jokes Will Have You Laughing Throughout the Ceremony

If you’re graduating this semester, congratulations! To celebrate the occasion, here are some funny graduation jokes to help make your commencement ceremonies even more exciting. 

Whether you’re taking a more serious route and writing a touching commencement speech or cracking jokes with your friends and family members, these graduation jokes will have you laughing through the ceremony.

Funny Graduation Jokes

  • At his graduation, her mom asked why the boy didn’t pick up his phone? What did he say? My reception was awful so I could not pick up.
  • Mary graduated as the class valedictorian, so why did she want to work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet? It had been on her bucket list for a long time.
  • Why was the college graduate so sad when he graduated? He had never found a clique of buddies he could hang out with.
  • When it comes to ranking carbonated beverages, why do soda graduates not like that? He feels like the job is so-da grading.
  • Tall people graduate in what way? They graduate top of their class.
  • How was the final exam for the culinary graduate? It was just a piece of cake.
  • After graduating from college, what did my puppy receive? His pedigree.
  • After graduating from college with a degree in event management, what did the herb say to his friends? It is now my thyme to party!
  •  When her daughter graduated from college, what did the mother whale tell her? You’ve done so whale, I couldn’t be more proud.
  • How do you talk to a college graduate who just graduated? Con-grad-ulations on your degree!
  • When the pirate graduated, why didn’t he make the dean’s list? All of his scores were in the C’s.
  • When the college graduate entered his graduation ceremony, what did he ask? Is it one degree hotter in here?
  • What do you call it if the math major is unable to find employment after graduation? It’s just a horrible after-math of the situation.
  • What did the fashion mogul tell his son after he attended his graduation ceremony? I’m extremely Prada you.
  • What explains the warm atmosphere in graduation ceremony halls? There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
  • When the girl failed her final stage of the cosmetology program, what happened? She had to sign up for makeup classes.
  • What was the reason for the photographer’s dismissal from the graduation ceremony? He used to get into scuffles at the drop of a hat.
  •  When the bay leaf became the class valedictorian, what did he tell his friends? I can’t beleaf I made it this far.
  • After graduating from college with a degree in event management, what did the herb say to his friends? It is now my thyme to party!
  • When the lightbulb received his degree in Optical and Imaging Technologies, what did his father tell him? You have a very bright future ahead of you.
  • What caused a broom not to graduate from high school? He was sweeping in the classes.
  • When a bag of popcorn graduates from college, what would you tell it? Corn-gratulations!
  • King Arthur’s tired men graduated from high school with good grades, how did they do it? They had a lot of sleepless knights.
  •  How do TV seniors dress for their graduation ceremonies? They all carry honor cords around.
  • The problem with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
  • Graduating is good because you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it is. 

Hilarious Graduation Stories

  • I saw a bowl of fruit punch at my high school graduation. I told my friends, “In my joke, I want the audience to participate.” After that, I instructed them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. As soon as they did, I gave them the punch line.
  • She saw her ex high school boyfriend, drunk on the street. She said he began drinking after they broke up decades ago. What I said was, Amazing… I’ve never seen anyone celebrate for that long before.
  • When one of my friends told me he’ll work at KFC after graduation, I was surprised. I ask why he did that. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.”

After all the hard work, high school and college graduations are finally here. But don’t let that scare you. You know what they say, ‘Happiness is a journey, not a destination.’ 

Make your graduation one to remember with this blog of funny graduation jokes. The best part about these jokes is that they can be told during the ceremony. If you’re having a hard time trying to come up with the perfect commencement speech, why not try these jokes out instead.

Discover our complete collection of hilarious jokes, motivational quotes, inspirational videos and songs. It will brighten your day and make it more enjoyable. You can see some of them below. 

Check these Graduation Party Games that surely everyone will love and enjoy.

About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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