Best New York Jokes That Will Keep You Laughing All Day

New York is one of the most popular destinations for tourists and locals alike. You may not know this, but it’s also a place that has some great jokes! 

What are the best jokes about New York? If you’re looking for a laugh, look no further! 

In this funny blog post, we will share some of our favorite New York jokes. We’ll have you cracking up and rolling on the floor – guaranteed. Read on to find out more! Top New York Songs should be the next thing on your list. Check them out for even more fun!

Hilarious New York Jokes

  • Why did the Statue of Liberty start a rock band?
    • Because she wanted to prove that even a statue can “torch” it up on stage!
  • What do you call a New Yorker who’s always in a hurry?
    • A “New York minute” enthusiast, or as we like to say, a “raceapple”!
  • Why did the hot dog stand in Times Square receive an award?
    • Because it was crowned the “weenie of the year,” and its buns were simply “bunderrated”!
  • What’s a New York cat’s absolute favorite musical?
    • It’s none other than “The Phantom of the Cat-sa” – a purr-fect choice for a feline connoisseur of the arts!
  • Why did the coffee from Manhattan file a police report?
    • Because it was “mugged” on its way to work, and it wanted the “bean” bandits brought to justice!
  • And what’s the official term for a New York squirrel?
    • It’s a “Central Park-et” enthusiast, always on the lookout for the finest acorns the city has to offer!
  • Eve wanted to leave Eden and move to New York, but why?
    • The Big Apple captivated her.
  • What differentiates Middle Earth from New York City?
    • Two Towers.
What differentiates Middle Earth from New York City
  • What prevented Jesus from being born in New York?
    • Since they couldn’t find a virgin or three wise men.
  • Are there any signs that someone is from New York City?
    • It won’t take them long to tell you, just give them a few minutes to introduce themselves.
  • Why are Indians attracted to New York?
    • Because there’s a Delhi on every block.
  • The temperature in NYC can reach 100 degrees, so what do you do to stay cool?
    • Dress up as a police officer.
  • After 5 years, what does a NYU graduate call a Columbia graduate?
    • Boss!
  • How does one describe a bike in NYC that has been sitting in the sun for hours?
    • Tire-less.
How does one describe a bike in NYC that has been sitting in the sun for hours
  • The New York regents covered the Carrier Dome in cardboard for what reason?
    • It always looks better when the Orangemen are on paper.
  • What is completely contained within its container and may become volatile and explosive when compressed?
    • New York City subway commuters.
  • On the University of Buffalo campus, what do you call a good-looking girl?
    • A visitor.
  • When blondes move from New Jersey to New York, what happens?
    • It makes both states smarter!
When blondes move from New Jersey to New York what happens
  • In Massachusetts, why do all the trees lean west?
    • New York Sucks.
  • What is the best way to get from Boston to New York City?
    • Follow the path south until you smell shit and west until you step in it.
  • Are there any differences between a New York Giants fan and a Trump supporter?
    • New York Giants fans will admit their team stinks.
  • When fat cows go on vacation, where do they go?
    • Moo York.
  • The Big Apple is home to what kind of hipsters?
    • Bookworms.
  • On vacation, where do eggs go?
    • New Yolk City.
On vacation where do eggs go
  • In which part of New York do cholesterol levels tend to be lowest?
    • Statin island.
  • How hard would it be to drive a computer from Toronto to New York?
    • I would say it was a hard drive.
Copy of On vacation where do eggs go
  • How can you prevent a Syracuse fan from beating his wife?
    • Dress her up in West Virginia Black and Gold!
  • Can you tell me the only thing that grows in Buffalo?
    • The swelling on your head from getting jacked!
  • Is there a difference between New York and Paris?
    • A single tower fell in Paris.

Funny Jokes to Read: Indiana Jokes, Tuesday Jokes, Spring Jokes

Funny Puns About New York

  • In New York…
    • it’s so cold that the statue of liberty shoved the torch up her dress!
In New York
  • In New York…
    • all the things I can’t afford are so convenient.
  • Since it was so hot in New York City today
    • the mayor told the Statue of Liberty to put her arm down.
  • When I was in NYC, a black man asked if the Yankees had won.
    • I said, “Yeah, man, you’re free.”
  • I was invited to a ball drop celebration in NYC tonight…
    • It turned out to be a bar mitzvah.
  • So cold is New York…
    • that flashers seem to just be describing themselves.
So cold is New York...
  • The Big Apple can’t play chess…
    • it’s missing two towers.
  • In New York, it’s difficult to go out on the water with a board…
    • but since everyone is wearing a face covering, waterboarding is incredibly easy.
  • My health led me to move to New York City.
    • Despite being paranoid, it was the only place where my fears were justified.
My health led me to move to New York City.
  • New York is an exciting city where something mysterious is happening all the time…
    • most are unsolved.
  • The fisherman in New York City reeled in a 250-pound catfish measuring 6 feet 6 inches long.
    • I don’t get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day.
  • It’s no wonder that New York looks so bad in the morning,
    • since it’s a city that never sleeps.
Its no wonder that New York looks so bad in the morning
  • I love New York, it’s an incredible place to live.
    • There are so many great ways to die here.

The Big Apple Quiz

Author’s Note

New York is a huge city, full of people with big personalities and even bigger jokes. Whether you’re from New York or not, these are the top New York Jokes that will have you laughing all day long. From pizza to Broadway shows to George Washington’s wig, this list has it all!

We will share more amusing jokes with you that will be sure to make you laugh. See them below. If you want more puns, visit our entire collection of Funny Jokes Today.

See which laws are the most absurd laws that have ever been created in New York.

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