Missouri is known for being a funny place with its own sense of humor. It might be small, but it is rich with history and fun facts.
If you are looking for some light-hearted jokes to help you escape the misery of life, these hilarious Missouri jokes are sure to put a smile on your face.
Funny Missouri Jokes
- What did Delaware do if Mississippi lent Missouri its New Jersey?
- I don’t know, Alaska.
- What is it about Missouri that likes to be surrounded by other states?
- Because Missouri loves company!
- Is there a difference between a University of Central Missouri sorority sister and a scarecrow?
- One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
- What do you call a good looking girl at the University of Central Missouri?
- A visitor.
- The Missouri regents decided to cover Faurot Field in cardboard for what reason?
- Because the Tigers always look better on paper.
- Is there a reason why Missouri State students have such beautiful noses?
- They’re hand picked.
- In Missouri, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. They just shoot the room for being black.
- What do you call the new policing strategy of communities like Ferguson, Missouri?
- A shot in the dark.
- In St. Louis, why are people always sad?
- They live in a constant state of Missouri.
- Have you heard about the nudist who never left Missouri?
- He was always in his show me state.
- What were the reasons for Missouri and Maine being admitted at the same time?
- Because Missouri loves company.
- What did the Lake of the Ozarks tell the shore?
- Nothing, it waved.
- Is there a place where fish keep their money?
- In the riverbanks of the Missouri River.
- Have you heard the joke about Saint Francois Mountains?
- You won’t get over it.
- How do you keep Mizzou fans away from your city?
- Host the Final Four.
- What made the Mizzou football players call social services?
- They are constantly being beaten by an old man.
- What are the differences between yogurt and Columbia, Missouri?
- Yogurt has an active living culture.
Funny Missouri One-Liners
- Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work.
- Sometimes we all feel like this:
- Put me out of my Missouri.
- You can experience all four seasons in one day in Missouri!
- You should love yourself like people from Missouri love quicktrip.
Hilarious Missouri Puns and Stories
- Missouri is said to be having some great Black Friday sales this year…
- 100% off everything.
- Karen and I visited a place where you can see three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri.
- Karen opened up that she was actually in a fourth state: crippling depression.
- I said, “I’m so sorry” “…but you can’t count Missouri twice.”
- I’m going to Missouri to do my Christmas shopping.
- I hear the deals are so hot the stores are practically on fire!
- Teacher asks, ‘What’s the capital of Missouri?’
- Student answers, ‘The M.’
- Interviewer: What city were you born in?
- Man: Missouri.
- Interviewer: What state are you in now?
- Man: Apathy.
- Interviewer: That’s not what I meant.
- Man: I don’t care.
- A Red Cross representative knocked on the door of an elderly Bostonian and asked if he could contribute to flood relief efforts in Missouri.
- He replied he’d love to, but his garden hose only reaches to the end of the driveway.
- As of last year, I began taking fish out of Kansas City and bringing them into Kansas. The local vegans and fishermen were furious with me.
- I said, “What, I’m just putting them out of their Missouri”
- Are you born stupid?
- Or are you a University of Kansas graduate?
- Happy Valentine’s Day!
- My Love for you is as deep as a Kansas City pothole.
- We should have a zoo of drunk white people doing stupid things.
- It’s called Missouri.
Missouri is one of the most interesting states in the country. It has a culture all its own which makes it an ideal place to live. I hope these jokes put you out of misery.
Check out this fun collection of jokes, quotes, and songs. They’ll brighten your day. Some of them are listed below.
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Take a look at these 15 towns in Missouri that have the strangest names you’ve ever heard.