Canada Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Till Your Tummy Hurts

Canadians have a reputation for being friendly, polite, and hilarious. We are so lucky to live in this country that has welcomed so many talented people from around the world! 

Here you’ll find the funniest Canadian and Canada jokes. You’ll laugh so hard that your tummy hurts. Best of all: no matter where you’re from, these jokes will make sense to you because they’re about Canada and Canadians!

Canada Jokes

  • What does a Canadian dog say when it apologizes?
    • “Woof, woof, eh?”
  • Can you tell me why the Canadian cheese was always so polite?
    • Because it had good “manner-jack”!
  • Among Canadian comedians, what do you call them?
    • A “poutine” of laughter!
  • What was the reason for the Canadian crossing the road twice?
    • To get to the Tim Hortons drive-thru!
  • Can you name the moon spot that is most special to a Canadian astronaut?
    • A “Canadian Crater”!
  • Can you tell me how a Canadian express surprise works?
    • “Oh, my beaver!”
  • What makes Canadian students so smart?
    • They get a lot of “ehs”.
  • Which time did the monster devour the Prime Minister?
    • Eight P.M.
  • Is there anything that can jump higher than the CN Tower?
    • Nothing! The CN Tower cannot jump!
  • Is there something that Canada produces that no other nation can?
    • Canadians!
  • Why do hockey players like to bake cakes?
    • Their icing skills are excellent.
  • Have you heard about the new dog sled team from Canada that formed a rock band?
    • They’re called Mush.
  • Why can’t a girl living in America be buried in Canada?
    • Because she is still alive.
  • How did the beaver go online?
    • He logged on.
  • What did the beaver tell the maple tree?
    • “It was fun gnawing you!”
  • How can you get a Canadian to apologize?
    • Step on their foot.
  • What is a Canadian ghost’s favorite food?
    • Boo-tine.
  • Is there a reason why Canadians have hard water?
    • It’s frozen most of the year!
  • How do Blue Jays stay in shape?
    • They do worm-ups!
  • At the hockey game, what was the skeleton doing?
    • Drive the gam-boney!
  • Why did the fugitives flee to Canada?
    • Because they had nowhere else Toronto.
  • Why are curlers prohibited from telling jokes on the ice?
    • Because it might crack up!
  • The pirate moved to Manitoba for what reason?
    • He heard he could Winnipeg!

Knock Knock Entries About Canada

  • Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Tuque.
    • Tuque who?
    • Tuque you by surprise, didn’t I?
  • Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Snow.
    • Snow who?
    • Snow big deal. Our Canada Day celebrations are underway!
  • Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Ottawa.
    • Ottawa who?
    • Ottawa-ter the lawn tomorrow.
  • Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Yukon.
    • Yukon who?
    • Yukon see the Northern Lights from here!
  • Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Ice.
    • Ice who?
    • Ice to meet you, eh?

Let me provide you a few more jokes that come from New York and Florida. They will undoubtedly make you chuckle until your stomach hurts too. 

Canada One-liners

  • 50% of Canada…
    • is the letter A.
  • I’m not sure Canada is real.
    • I think it’s all maple leaf.
  • There is a rumor that Trump is leaving for Canada…
    • but it’s not Trudeau.
  • Canada’s cold winter and legalized marijuana have united us into…
    • a High-brrr-nation.
  • Originally, I wanted to crack a joke about the road that separates the US and Canada,
    • but then I realized it would be crossing the line.
  • There are more colder days in Canada than in the United States…
    • Especially during winter.
  • The government of Canada wants to send a message to all Americans who are jealous of marijuana legalization…
    • Sorry.
  • A moose’s kick is more likely to kill you than a terrorist attack in Canada.
    • Those damn limbs.

Discover Your Canadian Personality

Author’s Note

It is true that Canadians are more reserved than Americans, but don’t let that fool you into thinking they don’t find humor because they have a huge sense of humor. I promise you won’t have a bad day after you read these Canada jokes. We hope you enjoy these jokes as much as we do! Let’s hear your jokes too in the comments section below.

If you want more puns, visit our entire collection of Funny Jokes Today.

Take a look at these 20 Crazy things that only happen in Canada.

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