Maid Jokes That Will Have You LOLing Till You Drop

It’s no secret that Maids are some of the most under-appreciated people in the world. With all the extra work they do, they deserve some extra perks. It’s time to give them what they deserve with this hilarious collection of jokes about Maids. 

You’ll find everything from good ole’ goodie-goodie jokes to the dark humor you crave. All these jokes are funny and will have you laughing until you can’t take it anymore.

Funny Maid Jokes

  • How do you organize a maid’s convention?
    • You “tidy” up the details, and make sure there’s a sweepstakes prize for the best-dressed mop!
  • What’s a maid’s favorite type of music for cleaning?
    • “Dust in the Wind” – it’s the soundtrack to their work, and they even choreograph their mop dance routines to it!
  • How did the vacuum cleaner propose to the mop?
    • With a “sweep”-heart message, followed by a whirlwind romance across the linoleum!
  • Why did the mop blush?
    • Because it saw the bucket without its wringer and realized it was about to have a wringing good time!
  • What’s a maid’s favorite snack?
    • Dust bunnies – they’re bite-sized, and you can enjoy them with a side of vacuum crumbs!
  • Why did the maid take a nap in the laundry room?
    • She wanted to “press” the snooze button and dream of a world where socks never disappear in the dryer!
  • How do you refer to a teetotaling maid?
    • A dry cleaner.
  • Which is smarter, a robot maid or a robot doctor?
    • A robot maid, because she’s got her AI.
  • In the mafia, what do you call a butler?
    • A maid man.
  • The astronaut brought his maid to the ISS (International Space Station) for what reason?
    • He heard there was a vacuum in space.
  • Are there any differences between a maid of honor and a maid’s honor?
    • About seven beers.
  • What is the problem with finding good household workers?
    • Because they are maid.
  • The spy doubled as a maid for what reason?
    • Because they were a good Sweeper Agent
  • What is a cheap maid uniform called?
    • Maid in China.
  • Exactly who cleans the sea?
    • A mer-maid.
  • The more it dries, the more it gets wet?
    • A sexy maid doing the laundry!
  • What about that mafia goon who crossdressed as a female servant?
    • He was a maid man.
  • Why is Excel like a hotel maid?
    • They are both spread sheets.
  • What is the only product label anyone would get excited about?
    • Maid in France.
  • How do you refer to a male servant?
    • A maid man.

Humorous One-Liners & Stories About Maid

  • Women want a prince on a white horse, they are so unrealistic.
    • On the other hand, men are perfectly content with only a maid.
  • My roommate and I used to share the maintenance of our respective rooms when we were in college.
    • We were maid for each other.
  • A lady of the house lost three pairs of expensive pants and blamed her maid in front of her husband.
    • The maid looked at the husband and said “Sir, you’re my witness. You know I never wear panties.”
  • The reason why my ex divorced me was because she claimed I treated her like a maid.
    • But even the judge agreed that she should keep the house.
  • Our maid told us that she would start working from home.
    • She sent us a list of things to do.
  • I got in trouble with my girlfriend because I wanted to role play.
    • I wanted her to be the maid, and I wanted to be the guy playing video games.
  • For a while, I dated a maid, but had to break up with her.
    • She was always sweeping around.
  • In the middle of doing laundry, my wife told me she isn’t a maid.
    • I told her of course you aren’t a maid, baby. Maids get paid to do laundry!
  • This morning, the maid banged on my door until I awoke.
    • So I finally let her out.
  • Teachers have been lying to you about math.
    • You’re whole life math teachers have said Pi R squared, but that’s a lie, My mother maid pie, and Pie are round.
  • There was a kid sitting with the maid and they were having the following conversation:
    • Maid: You must leave this house.
    • Kid: Why?
    • Maid: There are ghosts here.
    • *Later that day the kid was sitting with his dad*
    • Kid: I heard the maid tell you we should leave because there were ghosts in the house.
    • Dad: Pack your bags!
    • Kid: Dad, do you really believe in ghosts?
    • Dad: WE DON’T HAVE A MAID!!!
  • A child ask his mother: “Did you know our maid was an angel?”
    • Mom: Why are you saying that?
    • Child: She was standing in the kitchen yesterday, holding both her hands up in the air and screaming, “Oh my God, I’m coming, I’m coming!”
    • If dad wasn’t there to hold her waist, she would have gone straight to heaven!
  • My mother always said, “Pick your clothes up off the floor, I’m not your maid.”
    • When I went to college the dorm had a maid who told us, “Pick your clothes up off the floor, I’m not your mother.”
  • I once knew a guy who always smiled when he had a house maid around.
    • He was a builder.

The Cool Made Quiz


While the job of a maid is to clean after people, many people fail to see just how hard their job is. Maids have to clean endlessly to ensure that the house they are working in is clean. This can cause them to become grumpy, but that doesn’t mean that their job has to be boring. We’d like to share with you these maid jokes that will definitely put a smile on your face. 

Check out this collection of jokes, quotes, and songs that will make you smile. This will brighten your day and make you happier. Some of them are listed below.

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