Rock Puns & Jokes That Will Make You Rock and Roll

Get ready! Our rock puns and jokes are about to rock your world.

Let’s start with some fun facts about rocks before we get silly and hilarious. 

Rocks are categorized as igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic. Various minerals are found in rocks, such as calcite, quartz, olivine, and mica.

Rocks are found in several things we use every day in our homes. Things like soap, toothpaste, make-up, and batteries! Amazing, isn’t it? 

It’s time to rock your world with these rock puns and jokes!

Funny Rock Puns

  • Is there any kind of rock that isn’t really a rock?
    • A Sham-rock.  
  • What rock group consists of four men who can’t sing?
    • Mount Rushmore.
  • Can you tell me who a geologist’s favorite comedian is?
    • Chris Rock.
  • Rocks eat what?
    • Pom-a-granites.
  • How do you refer to small rocks?
    • Mini-rals.
  • What did the sneaky diamond tell its friend copper?
    • Nothing silly. Rocks don’t talc!
  • When you throw a rock into a pool, what happens?
    • He sinks right down the dwayne.
  • Rocks use what for personal hygiene?
    • Geoderant.
  • My rocks are gneiss…
    • don’t take them for granite.
  • Geologist: Gneiss, tuff, and a little bit wacke. 
  • May the Quartz be with you!
  • Rock A: Sometimes I feel like you mistake me for granite.
    • Rock B: I’m getting real tired of your schist. 
    • Rock C: Hey, that’s not gneiss!

Hilarious Rock Jokes

  • What do you call a rock that never attends school?
    • Skipping stone!
  • How does a rock flirt?
    • It says, “You really rock my world!”
  • What do you call a rock who loves classic literature?
    • A Shakespeare!
  • What made the rock so good at math?
    • Because it had a lot of “calcite”!
  • What motivated the rock to go to therapy?
    • It had too many issues with its sedimentary past!
  • How did one rock respond to the other rock?
    • “You’re such a gem!”
  • You’re looking for the best rock puns, aren’t you?
    • Give me just a couple of minutes, and I will dig some up.
  • Have you heard about the drunk geologist?
    • He finally hit rock bottom.
  • Have you seen the geologist towing a crate of rocks behind his car?
    • He had a wide lode sign.
  • Is there a reason why the rock comedian wasn’t very funny?
    • There was too much pressure.
  • What makes beach rocks so cheap?
    • Because they’re always on shale.
  • What was the purpose of the rock shower every morning?
    • He wanted to start with a clean slate.
  • The rock went to rehab for what reason?
    • To get stone cold sober.
  • How do you describe a rock that never attends school?
    • A skipping stone!
  • When it comes to relaxing, how do geologists prefer to do it?
    • In rocking chairs, of course!
  • When were rock puns at their funniest?
    • During the stone age.
  • What makes it dangerous for a rock to get married to a sheet of paper?
    • Because paper beats rock.
  • When he reached the bottom of the hill, what did the stone say?
    • That’s how I roll.
  • How do you deal with dead geologists?
    • You barium.
  • A geology student drowned, but how?
    • His grades were below C-level.
  • In response to the angry rock star, what did the judge say?
    • He charged him with basalt and battery.
  • Is it true that all rock stars get along?
    • Maybe, but I doubt anyone really wants to start a quarry.
  • In your opinion, who is the greatest rock artist in the world?
    • Michelangelo. 
  • Is there a reason why the geologist wasn’t hungry?
    • They’d lost their apatite. 
  • What makes geologists considered studious?
    • They take nothing for granite!
  • When rocks sleep, where do they go?
    • In bedrock!
  • When a geologist’s career is almost over, what do you call it?
    • On the rocks!
  • What is the only time you can throw rocks at girls?
    • Only when it’s diamonds.
  • What did it take for the geologist to be so good on the dance floor?
    • He finally learned how to do the tectonic shuffle.
  • What was the purpose of the geologist’s date at the quarry?
    • He wanted to be a little boulder.
  • Can you tell me what the rock told the word processor?
    • Boulder.
  • Geologists love music, but their playlists get boring after a while.
    • They’re only rock and roll.
  • I’m sick and tired of being called to school all the time because my son only knows punk, classic, and heavy metal rock.
  • There is no better restaurant for a geologist than the Hard Rock Cafe.
  • There was too much friction between the two tectonic plates for them to keep up the relationship anymore.
  • Everyone got stoned at Bill’s house last night.
    • Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
  • Person: I don’t like geologist puns. 
    • Me: My sediments exactly. 
  • I asked the geology student why he was studying geology.
    • His reply was simple.
    • Because it rocks!
  • Volcanic rock deserves respect because it was magma before it was cool.
  • If you really want to create an impact in today’s society…
    • try donating for the crater good.

The Rockin’ Rocks Challenge

Author’s Note

Are you looking for more laughs? Take a look at these hilarious jokes below that will leave you in stitches.

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