Cool Battery Jokes That Will Give You Energizing Laughter

Every day, people seem to be on the go, always in a hurry. And these days, everything runs on power. Smartphones, laptops, smart TV’s, and so on. But all these devices will run out of energy sooner or later. 

If you are having a stressful day and need some laughter to ease the day, these battery jokes will surely do the trick.

Funny Battery Jokes and Riddles

  • How do you refer to a nervous battery?
    • Anxious-olyte!
  • Batteries never argue, so why don’t they?
    • Because they always stay positive!
  • At the gym, what did one battery say to the other battery?
    • “You’re looking charged up today!”
  • What motivated the battery to apply for a job?
    • Because it wanted to be a “cell” mate!
    • What is the favorite instrument of a battery? The drum, because it loves the beats!
  • What caused the battery to sit down in the middle of the road?
    • Because it ran out of juice!
  • Are you interested in a package of dead batteries?
    • They’re free of charge.
  • What do you call a battery that gets hurt?
    • AA tragedy.
  • How do you refer to an iPhone’s battery?
    • Apple juice.
  • When the battery was depleted, what did it say to the judge?
    • Feel free to charge me. 
  • What caused the battery to die?
    • Terminal illness.
  • Which battery is the most Canadian?
    • Triple Eh!
  • Why was the 9V battery thrown out of church?
    • Because they were holding an AA Meeting.
  • What is the difference between my wife and a battery?
    • The battery has a positive side.
  • What was the reason for the arrest of the energizer bunny?
    • He was charged with battery!
  • How do  you describe the downtime you experience while your batteries recharge?
    • Re-volting!
  • The battery salesman quit his job for what reason?
    • He no longer got a charge out of it. 
  • An animal group that lives in caves and is capable of powering things is called?
    • A bat-array.
  • Dracula’s torch runs on what?
    • Bat-teries.
  • “Okay, Copper- what’s the charge? Battery and assault?
    • I have contacts you know”
  • Is there a difference between a thug and a phone charger?
    • A phone charger charges batteries, but a thug has battery charges.
  • Turtles use what kind of batteries?
    • Durashells.
  • When one battery was unsure whether to continue the resolution for another month, what did it say to another?
    • I’m positive!

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Hilarious Battery Short-Liners

  • Battery charging annoys me,
    • it’s revolting.
  • Hi, I’m Terry,
    • a battery. 
  • When he was caught stealing the batteries,
    • he was immediately charged!
  • When my child is asleep,
    • I keep a supply of dead batteries handy to swap into his noisiest toys. 
  • Battery:
    • I am energetic and quite positive, but I also have a negative side.
  • The other day, my son kept chewing on an electrical cord.
    • This forced me to ground him.
    • He was so upset that he blew a fuse.
    • He’s doing better currently.
  • Two thieves were caught with a load of stolen batteries and fireworks
    • one was arrested, and the other was let go.
  • I can sympathize with batteries.
    • I never get included in anything either.
  • I found two lumps on my car battery.
    • One of them turned out to be positive.
    • I hope it isn’t terminal.
  • Battery: I’m fed up with you! I’m leaving!
    • **My battery ran out.**
  • Steve Jobs died too soon, according to some people.
    • But I think his death was a fitting metaphor for Apple’s attitude to battery life.
  • When I was in Feruson, five black men jumped me.
    • It started right up, they said I just needed to replace the battery.
  • I saw a box at the hardware store the other day that said:“Dead Batteries – half price.”
    • I thought to myself, “These should be free of charge.” 
  • A police officer arrested two kids yesterday, one for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks.
    • They charged one and let the other one off.
  • There is a story that says Jesus could walk on water… That’s nothing!
    • Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
  • The batteries in my keyboard died while I was playing a prison simulator.
    • Now I can’t escape.
  • So the batteries in my flashlight ran out…
    • You’d think I would be upset, but I was actually delighted.

Battery Brain Teasers

Author’s Note

I have to say, battery puns are one of the best. When people hear battery puns, they are quick to giggle. These battery jokes will give you an adrenaline rush and keep you energized. It will make you laugh out loud while you read them.

Have a look at these funny pictures of batteries running out of power. They will make you laugh, and perhaps relate to you?

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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