Fun Soccer Jokes You’ll Love With Your Co-Fans

What is soccer? In this game, 22 players, two linesmen, and 20,000 officials take part. I kid you not!

Soccer has become more professional with time as it has been played for a longer period of time. It is one of the most popular sports in the world. In every sport, there are winners and losers.

Here is a collection of soccer jokes that make light of the game but also highlight some of the more obscure aspects of the sport. We’ve got volleyball jokes and golf jokes that are sure to make you laugh! Get inspired too by Messi quotes.

Funny Soccer Jokes

  • Cinderella can’t play soccer, why?
    • Because she always runs away from the ball.
  • Why did the soccer player bring string to her match?
    • So she could tie the score.
  • What did the bumble bee forward say after scoring a goal?
    • Hive scored!
  • During the holidays, what do referees send to players?
    • Yellow cards!
  • What makes scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?
    • Because they’ve both been beaten!
  • Soccer stadiums are lit by what?
    • A soccer match.
  • What makes soccer players so successful in school?
    • They know how to use their heads.
  • During games, how do soccer players stay cool?
    • They stand near the fans.
  • What runs around a soccer field without ever moving?
    • A fence.
  • What is the best place for soccer players to dance?
    • At a soccer ball.
  • How is a bad soccer team like an old bra?
    • It has no cups and very little support.
  • What causes the soccer ball to curse so much?
    • Because he gets a kick out of it.
  • Why did the soccer ball leave the team?
    • He was tired of being kicked around.
  • Why do Italians love soccer so much?
    • Because half way through, they get to switch sides.
  • Why didn’t the politically correct soccer team win any matches?
    • Because no offense.
  • Are you aware that a soccer player lived past 100 years of age?
    • He’s still alive and kicking.
  • What is the number of Manchester City soccer fans needed to change a lightbulb?
    • None – they’re quite happy living in the shadows.
  • At what time does the elephant step on the soccer ball?
    • Time to get a new ball.
  • How can you stop a squirrel from playing soccer in your backyard?
    • Hide the ball. It drives them nuts!
  • What caused the nose to not be on the soccer team?
    • He didn’t get picked.
  • What made the magician captain of the soccer team?
    • He was the best at hat tricks.
  • A soccer team chases a baseball team at what time?
    • Eleven after nine (9:11).

Hilarious Soccer Puns

  • Soccer players drink what kind of tea?
    • Penal-Tea.
  • In the jungle, why shouldn’t you play soccer?
    • There are too many cheetahs!
  • When a dinosaur scores a goal, what is it called?
    • A dino-score!
  • What is the ghost’s favorite soccer position?
    • Ghoul keeper.
  • Can you guess what the bad soccer announcer got for Christmas?
    • COOOAAAALLL!!!
  • What makes the dirty kids so good at soccer?
    • Because they are Messi.
  • What is the favorite football club of sheep?
    • Baaaaaaaaa-rcelona.
  • What is the best place to get a soccer shirt?
    • New Jersey.
  • What kind of soccer team cries after losing?
    • A bawl club.
  • Why was the chicken ejected from the soccer game?
    • For persistent fowl play.

Crazy Soccer Short-Liners

  • Soccer is an odd game.
    • Soccer is a bunch of people running away from their goals.
  • I don’t watch the World Cup.
    • If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I’d go to a bar.
  • I started dating a soccer-loving girl.
    • She’s a keeper.
  • I know an untidy guy who is an excellent soccer player.
    • What a Messi guy.
  • Twilight’s like soccer.
    • They run around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don’t understand.
  • Soccer pitches are always so incredibly wet.
    • It’s probably because the players dribble so much.
  • We have a local bulletin board, so I put some posters up there to start a soccer team.
    • You know, to get the ball rolling.
  • Beans on the post are a goalkeeper’s favorite snack.
  • A soccer player and a judge have a lot in common.
    • They both sit on the bench sometimes.
  • Many footballers are accused of diving too much.
    • The Chelsea goalkeeper leads by example, always deciding to stay on his feet, even if the ball is flying into his goal. 

There is a lot of interest and passion for the game. There are also a lot of people who want to tell jokes about the game and players.

Thank you for looking at some of the best soccer jokes, puns, and short-liners. We hope that you’ll realize that soccer is a very funny game. 

Would you like to learn more about soccer? Check out these 80 interesting facts about the sport!

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Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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