40+ Funniest Baby Jokes To Make You Cry While Loving Them

Having and raising babies can be a blessing and can also be the most challenging task in the world.

The job of parenting is not easy, whether you are a first-time parent or an experienced one. Baby mood management, feeding, bathing, and putting them to sleep are just a few of the things parents do for their babies. Yet, it is impossible not to fall in love with them.

Babies are the cutest and funniest creatures in the world. They always speak the truth and share their hilarious thoughts with the world. You’ll find in this blog the funniest baby jokes, which will help your baby develop a better sense of humor.

Baby Jokes That Are Cute And Funny

When a monkey is a baby, what do you call it?
- A chimp off the old block!
What was the purpose of bringing a ladder to school?
- Because it wanted to go to high school!
What is the best way for a vampire baby to drink milk?
- From a “blood” bottle!
What do you call a baby bear without teeth?
- A gummy bear!
The baby put his money in the blender for what reason?
- Because he wanted to make liquid assets!
What is the best way to stop a crying baby?
- Give it your phone and say, “Call Grandma!”
How do you deal with a fussy baby?
- You pacify it.
Would you like to know what a baby computer calls his old man?
- Data!
When you see a baby spinning in circles, what do you do?
- Stop laughing and untie him from the ceiling fan.
Do you know how to make a ghost laugh?
- You play peek-a-BOO.
Do you know what a group of soldier babies is called?
- An infantry.
If your baby refused to sleep, what would you call it?
- I’d call it resisting arrest.
Where are all the fish babies sleeping?
- They sleep in bass-inets.
What do single babies need less of than triplets?
- Less womb.
Why does a woman carry a child?
- The baby can’t carry the mother.
Do you know what baby witches are called?
- Halloweenies.

Do you know what baby potatoes are called?
- A small fry.
Do you know what baby garbage bins are called?
- A litter.
When paternity leave ended, what did the buffalo say to his baby boy?
- Bison!
What caused the baby to cry at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5 a.m.?
- Why not?
What can be done to stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
- You rocket!

How do you call twins before they are born?
- Wombmates.
And what did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
- Where is pop corn?
I wonder what the baby light bulb said to the mommy light bulb?
- I love you watts and watts!
What did the mother broom say to her baby broom?
- It’s time to sweep!
What is the best place for babies to sleep?
- In apricots.

How do you make a paper baby?
- Marry an old bag.
Do you know what a bunch of chubby newborns is called?
- Heavy infantry.
What would a cow you just had a baby be called?
- De-calf-inated.
How did the baby end up crossing the street?
- He saw the one object you told him he couldn’t play with!

Is there anything babies want for Christmas?
- All they teeth.

What made the baby so strong?
- Because of all the pull-ups.

Baby One Liners and Stories Thar Are Really Hilarious

In the mornings when the baby wakes me at 5am.
- I remind myself that she’ll be a teenager soon and payback will be sweet.
I hope you have stronger coffee than your toddler.

On a 10-hour flight, I sat next to a baby.
- I didn’t think it was possible for someone to cry for 10 hours straight.
- Even the baby was impressed, I pulled it off.
One of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear is a baby’s laugh.
- Unless it is 3 a.m., you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.

Baby:
- I must be very special! Mom says she won’t have any more babies!
Three Months Baby:
- Feeling cute, might have a meltdown later, I dunno.
Having a baby is a walk in the park.
- Jurassic Park.
After being in a deep coma for about 10 months, a woman who was 3 months pregnant woke up.
- The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
- Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And, your brother named them for you.
- Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He’s an idiot! What did he name the girl?
- Doctor: Denise.
- Woman: Ohh, that’s actually a nice name. What about the boy?
- Doctor: *deeply sighs* Denephew.

I saw her for the first time in a long time and asked how the little ones were.
- She said Amal and Juan were just fine and were growing like weeds.
- I asked to see a picture of them and she showed me a single baby on her phone.
- “Aren’t there two of them?” I asked.
- She replied: “Well if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

Mister Turner and his wife had a daughter.
- They named her Paige, and they just couldn’t put her down.

Baby:
- How shall I put it? You will never “Sleep In” again.
A nurse told the parents of a newborn, “You have a cute baby.”
- The smiling husband said, “I bet you say that to all the new parents.”
- “No,” she replied. “Just to those whose babies really are good-looking.”
- The husband asked, “So, what do you say to the others?”
- The nurse replied, “The baby looks just like you.”

One of my friends asked me if she should have a baby after 40.
- I said no, 40 babies are enough.

Being an adult stinks.
- Babies get praised for being able to hold their heads up on their own like bravo, your neck works.
- Funny baby.
Perfect skin isn’t important for babies and children.
- Where are you going looking so dewy, Aidan?
- The sandbox?
- Gimme it.
It is easiest for a mother to get a baby’s attention by sitting down and looking comfortable.
The sidewalk cracks are a toddler’s worst nightmare.

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Author’s Note

In the world of humor, baby jokes are the tiny giggles that light up our lives. They remind us that laughter is a universal language, bridging generations and bringing joy to all. So, whether you’re a parent, grandparent, or simply a fan of adorable humor, baby jokes are here to remind us that the smallest chuckles can have the biggest impact on our hearts.

Which baby jokes are your favorites? Share it with us! We would love to know about them. Below you’ll find some of our funniest jokes that the whole family will enjoy.