Best Football Jokes Are Sure to Put a Touchdown in Between You and Your Friends

by Megha Sharma  |  07 May 2021

Football season is in full swing, so it’s time to gear up for some laughs. Whether you’re a fan of the game or not, there are plenty of jokes that will put a smile on your face and give you something to share with your friends! 

We compiled our favorite football jokes in one place to share with everyone. From knock-knock jokes to puns and one-liners, we have them all! 

So whether you’re looking for a little distraction or some laughs with friends and family, these are sure to put a touchdown between you and your friends.

Hilarious Football Jokes & Puns

  • The football coach went to the bank for what reason? He wants his quarter back.
  • What do football players wear for Halloween? Face masks!
  • Why do grasshoppers refuse to watch football? They prefer cricket!
  • Football players drink what kind of tea? Penal-tea.
  • Which football position is a ghost’s favorite? Ghoulkeeper!
  • Which football teams took part in the Pirate Superbowl? The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
  • Who among the insects is not able to play well in football? The fumble bee.
  • How did it come about that the tiny ghost was asked to join the football team? The team needed a little team spirit.
  • Where on a football field does it smell nicest? The scenter spot!
  • What made the football player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
  • What is a fan’s favorite ice cream flavor? Aston vanilla
  • In the World Cup, what did the referee tell the South American footballer who lied about handling the ball? I don’t Bolivia!
  • What is the name for a football game between two nuns and a hooker? Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
  • We wondered why the dog did not want to play football. It was a boxer.
  • What did the wide receiver tell the football? Catch you later.
  • Why did the footballer hold his boot up to his ear? Because he liked sole music!
  • Can you tell me who wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head.
  • What place do football players dance? At a foot ball!
  • Football players who are hungry play where? In the Supper Bowl.
  • What’s the difference between a Los Angeles Rams fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after a while.
  • Did the college football player say anything to the punter? “I get a kick out of you.”
  •  When football players should wear armor? During knight games.

Funny One-Liners & Knock Knock Entries About Football

  • Football and bacon distract me easily.
  • The Santa’s helpers and the football player — both on defense — went on a rampage. It was the elf and safety gone berserk.
  • Let’s talk about football, I’ll listen to you.
  • If you can’t play nice then play football!
  • Classy until Kick-off!
  • Before I moved to America, I was the worst player on my football team… Now I’m the worst player on my soccer team.
  • Look at me like you do at Tom Brady after he throws a touchdown pass.
  • Knock, knock. Who is there? August. August Who? A gusta go back to football game!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tess me. Tess me who? Tess me how to play football!
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Please keep Uriah on the ball!

Football Jokes are a great way to get your friends laughing, but they can also be used as icebreakers if you’re still looking for new ways to meet people. Whether you’re at the game or out with friends, these jokes will have everyone howling!

There’s something funny and awesome about finding something that’s both relevant and funny, so check out these hilarious jokes. 

If you want more puns, visit our entire collection of Funny Jokes Today.

Let’s take a look at 30 of the funniest moments in football from the last decade.

About the author 

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.


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