Sydney Jokes You Can’t Miss Laughing At

Sydney, Australia is one of the most popular travel destinations in the world, and with so many cool things to do and places to explore, it is easy to see why.

But what about the jokes? The outrageous one-liners and puns? The unique stories and historical anecdotes? We’ve put together a collection of our favorite Sydney jokes for your entertainment. Happy laughing!

Hilarious Sydney Jokes and Puns

  • Is there a reason the Grizzly bear didn’t get a job in Sydney?
    • He didn’t have the proper koala-fications!
  • In the middle of the desert, what do you call a man wearing a suit from Sydney?
    • A lostralian.
  • Sydney Poitier’s favorite soda was?
  • Why did HR choose the Australian animal for the job?
    • He was koala-fied for the post.
  • What did the Aussie guy say to the koala?
    • I understand your situation, but you need to bear your pain.
  • When his friend cracked a witty joke, what did the Australian guy say?
    • “Aussie what you did there, mate.”
  • What do you call a kangaroo who is a dead set genius?
    • A quantum leap.
  • What made the wombat cross the road?
    • To see his flatmate.
  • When the Aussie had finished raking the leaves, what did he do? 
    • He fell outta the bloody tree.
  • What’s the difference between the Australian Rugby team and Sydney Harbour Bridge?
    • Not everyone has walked over the Sydney harbour bridge.
  • How is Helen Keller different from a bogan?
    • She got famous for not being able to read.
  • When a bogan dies, what is the last thing they say?
    • “Hey mate – check this out!!!”
  • What makes Australia such a dry country?
    • We don’t have a king or queen to reign on it.
  • What do you call an Australian with 100 girlfriends?
    • A farmer.
  • Do you know what you call a lazy kangaroo?
    • A pouch potato!
  • When is a bear not a bear?
    • If he doesn’t have the right koalifications.
  • Everyone thinks Sydney is the capital city of Australia.
    • It’s actually Vienna.
  • “Ok boomer” is the name I gave my broken phone.
    • Last night, someone from Sydney called.
    • I was surprised, Ok boomer rang.
  • TIL if you currently live in Sydney, Australia.
    • Despite the cemetery’s size, you can’t actually be buried there.
    • Apparently it’s illegal to bury people alive.

Crazy Sydney Short Stories

  • A car hits an American tourist in downtown Sydney, Australia.
    • He is in a coma for 24 hours.
    • When he wakes up in the hospital, he is very disoriented.
    • “Did I come here to die?” he asks.
    • The nurse replies, “No, love, you came here yestadie!”
  • In Western Sydney, a guy goes into an Adult Store and asks for an inflatable doll.
    • The guy behind the counter asks, Male or female?
    • The customer answers, Female.
    • The counter guy asks, Black or white?
    • The customer answers, White.
    • The counter guy asks, Christian or Muslim?
    • The customer answers, What does religion have to do with it?
    • The counter guy says, The Muslim one blows himself up.
  • It’s a hot night at the bar in Sydney, and two guys are having a couple of cold ones.
    • One says to the other “A sheila I met in Sydney the other night gave me a bloody sexually transmitted disease”!
    • His friend says back “geez you’re lucky mate, in Adelaide you would have had to pay for it”.

Sydney is the most populous city in Australia with approximately 4 million residents. Sydney is known for its beaches, Sydney Harbour Bridge, and Sydney Opera House. In addition to its vibrant nightlife, the city has a large gay and lesbian community. 

Hopefully these Sydney jokes have made you laugh. What’s next? These are some of our favorite jokes that will make you laugh and have a great time!

Check out these interesting facts about Sydney, Australia

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