There is no question that the insurance industry has become more necessary than luxurious over the past few years.
Since insurance is a serious subject, you shouldn’t be surprised that the jokes are equally dry. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t worth a few laughs; after all, laughter is the best medicine.
So next time you need to get your colleagues in a good mood, whip out a quick insurance jokes and watch them roar with laughter.
Hilarious Insurance Jokes
- In terms of selling to a ghoul, what can be the most difficult?
- Life insurance!
- Fleetwood Mac got insurance for what?
- They got it for landslides.
- Transformers need what kind of insurance?
- Life insurance and car insurance.
- Can you tell me what kind of chocolate insurance agents love?
- They love premium chocolates.
- After describing his policy, what did the life insurance salesman say to the woman?
- “Call me tomorrow if you wake up!”
- What’s the difference between a whole life policy and a man’s policy?
- A whole life policy eventually matures.
- When you turn 65, what’s the best thing about it?
- No more calls from life insurance agents.
- What is the connection between an insurance policy and a woman?
- They are both expensive, difficult to understand and what you get is not guaranteed.
- Is there a reason why the insurance agency denied the high wire artist insurance?
- Because of her outstanding balance.
- What is the difference between an accountant and an actuary?
- An actuary looks at his shoes when he talks to you. An accountant looks at your shoes.
- Do hospital gowns and insurance policies have anything in common?
- You’re never covered as much as you think you are.
- What did the man reply when the insurance salesman asked, “Sir, you said you were born in the USA. Which part?”
- “My entire body, my man,” the man replied.
- Halloween monsters need what kind of health insurance?
- They need medi-scare.
- Salmon don’t need health insurance, so why don’t they?
- That’s because they all get cured for free.
- What was the name chosen by two insurance agents for their son?
- Justin Case.
- Where would the founding fathers of America sign important documents if they were life insurance agents?
- The declarations page.
- Life insurance was sold to explosive manufacturers by the agent for what reason?
- Because it was a booming business.
- To the insurance agent, what did the turtle say?
- “No thanks, I’m covered.”
- What prevented the great baker from getting insurance?
- Because they were high whisk.
- What caused Elon Musk to go bankrupt?
- Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.
- In case of an accident at Machu Picchu, what insurance company should you choose?
- Peru-dential.
- After reviewing its insurance policies, what did the doctor tell the chocolate?
- “They said, “Laughter is the best medicine, but it looks like you’re only covered Snickers and Laffy Taffy.”
Funny One-Liners and Conversations About Insurance
- Now that my wife and I have taken out life insurance policies on each other, it’s just a matter of waiting.
- By buying insurance, people keep themselves poor so that they can die rich.
- Needing insurance is like needing a parachute.
- Unless it’s there the first time, you probably won’t need it again.
- I bought a new life insurance policy but the small print is impossible to understand.
- I can stop paying after I die, that’s all I know.
- A cowboy who had applied for a policy was being questioned by an insurance agent.
- “Ever have an accident?” he inquired.
- “Nope,” the cowboy answered.
- “Not even one?” asked the agent, incredulously.
- “Nope,” the cowboy insisted. “Rattler bit me once, though.”
- “And don’t you call that an accident?” exclaimed the amazed agent.
- “Nope; the danged varmint done it a-purpose.”
- In Canada, there are some people who refuse to speak English.
- They’re called separatists and tend to live in Quebec.
- In the United States, they’re called actuaries.
- Marriage to an insurance agent prolongs life?
- A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill.
- The doctor says to her, “I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live.”
- “Oh that’s terrible,” the woman sighs, “What am I going do?”
- The doctor replies, “Marry an insurance agent.”
- “Will I live longer?” asks the woman.
- “No,” replies the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”
- Insurance agents never retire, they just expire.
- Insurance agents are premium lovers.
- Insurance agents do it with third parties.
- I have camping insurance, but apparently it doesn’t cover me if my tent is stolen in the middle of the night.
- Recently, I saw two people walk into an insurance broker.
- You think one of them would have spotted it.
- I was able to reduce my insurance bill by half.
- Stil costs the same, just got carried away with some scissors.
- When I was on the phone with the insurance company, they asked if I wanted to insure my dog as well.
- I said no, he can’t drive.
- Boss: “You must be crazy! Would it be possible to issue a life insurance policy to a 108-year-old? ”
- Employee: “As you told me, I applied for all the proper statistical tests. In the last five years, not a single 108-year-old man has died!
- I’m sorry, but your health insurance does not cover stress caused by trying to understand it.
- Death is one of the worst things that can happen in life.
- Have you ever spent an entire evening with an insurance salesman?
- My insurance company is very dependable.
- In the thirty years I have been insured, they have never missed sending me a bill for my premium payment.
It is important that you understand how life insurance works in order to better plan for your family’s long-term financial needs. Find out five reasons why you should have life insurance.
Take a look at these funny jokes below that will make you laugh and smile. Keep laughing and having fun!
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