Library Jokes That Make You Laugh at Your-Shelf

Once upon a time, libraries were looked upon as a serious place of business. No more. The jokes around libraries are funny, hilarious and creative.

Here you can find all the best library jokes and work your funny bone as well.

To keep yourself happy and have the best laughs, visit our blog regularly. See also philosophy jokes, summer jokes for kids, or hiking quotes for Instagram. They’ll be a hit with you, I’m sure. 

Hilarious Library Jokes and Puns

• What is the best way to make a library float?
  • Add “root” beer and a scoop of ice “cream”!

• What was the reason for the book’s stay at the library?
  • Because it had too many pages to “book” a room!

• If a book is made of paper and glue, what do you call it?
  • “Book-erdine”!

• The librarian got into trouble at the bakery for what reason?
  • Because she couldn’t keep her hands off the “book”-ies!

• What is the favorite game of a librarian?
  • “Shhhharades”!

• Why do most heart surgeons recommend patients visit the library?
  • Because they are good for circulation.

• What makes libraries the tallest buildings in the world?
  • Because they have so many stories!

• What does a library do to ensure novels stay warm?
  • They give them book jackets.

• Ghosts frequently visit the library for what reason?
  • They go through the books very quickly.

• In a library, where do you find books on reincarnation?
  • At the Returns Counter.

• Is there a section in the library where you can get bitten by a snake?
  • Hissssssstory.

• Do you know what to call a teacher who doesn’t fart in the library?
  • A private tutor.

• Why is Kim Jong-un’s library so big?
  • This is due to the fact that he is the supreme reader.

• Dracula went to the library for what reason?
  • He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into.

• When the frog went to the library, what did he say?
  • “Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!”

• The bookworm visited the library for what reason?
  • Because he wanted to burrow a book.

• Can you tell me what one library book tells you about another?
  • “Can I take you out?”

• Do you know where the library keeps books about Big Foot?
  • In the large print section.

• Is there a reason why nobody broke into the library?
  • The thieves were afraid of long sentences.

• Without a pun, what would a list of library jokes be?
  • Withdrawn book.

• If your pet starts eating your library books, what should you do?
  • You take the words right out of their mouths!

• The bird flew into the library for what reason?
  • To get a bookworm. 

• What is the reason why dystopian books are not kept in modern libraries?
  • Because they are so 1984. 

• Is there a reason why the librarian was fired by the library authorities?
  • He was so checked out all the time.

• Did you hear about the anti-government bar for West African bookstore workers?
  • Liberian Libertarian Librarian Libations

• Turkish librarians eat what for lunch?
  • Shhh kebabs!

• In your school, who is the biggest liar?
  • The Lie-brarian.

• When you cross a librarian with a lawyer, what do you get?
  • All the information in the world, but you can’t understand a word of it.

• What caused the librarian to fall over?
  • She was in the non-friction section!

• When the librarian spoke to the child, what did she say?
  • **Read More**

• What is a librarian’s favorite food?
  • Ssshushi.

• Is there a reason why the Librarian kept buying books?
  • He had no shelf-control.

• When you talk to a librarian, what advice do you get?
  • Believe in your shelf!

• What caused the book of incantations to fail?
  • They forgot to run a spell check on it. 

• Among librarians, what is their favorite vegetable?
  • Quiet Peas.

• What was the reason for the clock being kicked out of the library?
  • Because it tocked too much. 

Funny Lines About Library

• That book about anti-gravity is impossible to put down.

• A book fell on the librarian’s head—she only had her shelf to blame.

• When a woman walks into a library, she asks if paranoia books are available.
  • The librarian says, “They’re right behind you!”

• In my novel, I explore the lives of religious women.
  • The library put it in the nun fiction section.

• Being a mime once caused me to be kicked out of a library.
  • Because actions speak louder than words.

• I wanted to visit the world’s biggest library but it was overbooked.

• Beverages are allowed in the library, but please don’t pour milk on our serials.

• Him: I’ve been saying this for years, man! It would be great if there was a Netflix for books.
  • Me: You mean a library? 

• Obviously, size matters. 
  • Doesn’t every girl want a big library? 

• I’d like to give a shout out to all librarians!
  • Oh, I’m sorry. 

• My goal was to find a medical book on abdominal pain at the library.
  • But someone had pulled the appendix out!

• Earlier today, a librarian was punched by a man.
  • I hope they throw the book at him.

• Trying to find books on Pavlov, I asked the librarian.
  • She said she’d have to check to be sure, but that the name rang a bell.

• While I was reading in the library, a guy stared at me.
  • He was really checking me out.

• Every year, the librarian wishes me many happy returns.

• I’m really sorry for all these library jokes.
  • I’ll put them on hold. 

• I fully intend to read all the books I’ve checked out.
  • I’m on track to finish by my 480th birthday. 

• The act of reading is a mental workout. 
  • So when I say I’m going to the gym, I obviously mean the library. 

• A guy came up to me in a library and asked, “Do you have a bookmark?”.
  • I said, “Yes, we have hundreds, but my name’s Dave.”

Are You a Library Enthusiast? 

Author’s Note

As the world goes digital, you might be wondering if libraries are becoming obsolete. Not so, as libraries continue their evolution and hold more digital content than ever before. 

Thanks for reading these library jokes. I hope they made you appreciate libraries even more.