Cooking Jokes Will Never Get You Into Trouble

Cooking can be stressful, but these cooking jokes should take the edge off. 

Some people say that cooking is an art and there is a lot of truth to that statement. Cooking is efficient, and it can be creative as well. It’s no surprise that many famous artists also enjoy cooking and many of them have even joke around about their love for cooking. 

The kitchen is where most accidents happen in homes. It’s also known to be the most dangerous room in a house. A good cook is one who does not just know the art of cooking but also knows how to make people laugh. 

Hilarious Cooking Jokes and Puns

  • Is there a reason why the bread applied for a job?
    • Because it kneaded dough!
  • Can you tell me what one plate said to the other plate?
    • “Lunch is on me!”
  • Holy water is made in what way?
    • You boil the hell out of it!
  • What made the turkey join a band?
    • Because it had the drumsticks!
  • At the barbecue, what did one hot dog say to the other?
    • “You’re so frank!”
  • Is there a good way to cook an alligator?
    • In a croc pot.
  • Did you know the first French fry wasn’t made in France?
    • It was cooked in Greece.
  • What is Pac-Man’s favorite cooking tool?
    • A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok
  • When the chef was cooking pasta, what did he say to the boiling water?
    • Goodbye, you are going to be mist!
  • If a group of witches cook simple recipes, what would you call them?
    • An Easy Bake Coven!
  • For Valentine’s Day, what did the French chef give his wife?
    • A hug and a quiche!
  • Is there a reason why the cooking pot had an electric bulb?
    • Because it was my first time of making light soup.
  • What is the name of the cooking show that allows you to use one pan throughout the competition?
    • You Think You Have The Skillet Takes!
  • How would you describe the Tom Cruise cooking movie?
    • A Few Good Menus.
  • Is there a reason you shouldn’t hire a midget chef?
    • The steaks are too high.
  • Have you heard about the fight in the kitchen?
    • A fish got battered.
  • When it comes to cooking vegetables, what is the most difficult part?
    • Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.
  • Is there a reason why the wait staff avoided the line cook?
    • He was always steaming.
  • What made Adam and Eve’s marriage so successful?
    • Because he couldn’t complain about her mothers cooking.
  • Do nice guys have any favorite cooking utensils?
    • M’Ladle
  • Is there a reason why the appliance is always late to the kitchen?
    • It was slow cooker.
  • If you work in a kitchen with a bad cook, how do you know?
    • Everyone is ordering Alka-Seltzer to drink with their dinner.
  • If you’re a parent, how do you know if you’re a bad cook?
    • Their son invites the class bully to dinner.
  • Stressed out cook overused which appliance?
    • The pressure cooker.

What is your favorite menu to prepare for your family? You can show off your cooking skills with these pasta jokes, bagel puns, and food jokes for kids

Funny Cooking Short-Liners

  • No one laughed at my joke about cooking.
    • I guess it didn’t pan out!
  • In the past, I was a member of the secret cooking society.
    • But they kicked me out for spilling the beans.
  • When I walked into my kitchen one day, I saw Usain Bolt cooking.
    • I asked him, “What Jamaican?”
  • My sirloin fell on the ground while I was competing in a cooking contest.
    • Not a worry, the steaks were low.
  • During my cooking classes, I started stealing cutlery.
    • It was a whisk I was willing to take.
  • An Australian cooking show audience didn’t like the way the head chef prepared meringue.
    • I was utterly shocked to know that Australians boo meringue!
  • As soon as I hung up the phone, my wife said, “If you don’t get home in 10 minutes, I’ll give the dinner I cooked for you to the dog.”
    • I was home in 5 minutes.
    • I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.
  • There was a fly stuck in the strainer.
    • A chef who saw it exclaimed, “You got yourself in a fine mesh”.
  • After screaming at my colander while cooking…
    • I now have a strained voice!
  • Cook a man a fish and you will feed him for a day.
    • But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
  • My dog is trained not to beg at the table.
    • How did you do that?
    • I let him taste my cooking.
  • Having grown up in the South, my mother was all about hospitality!
    • Cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry and even foot rubs!
    • She made me do it all.
  • Baking paper is something I forgot to buy.
    • Looks like my cooking will be foiled again.
  • Make sure you don’t leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended.
    • It could spell disaster.
  • My wife’s cooking is so bad that we usually pray after eating.
  • It’s not that I’m a bad cook.
    • But how long does pasta stay in the toaster?
  • Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
    • I’m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
    • Well, then bring me the winner.
  • ‘Oh yeah, I love to cook!’
    • *removes salad from the microwave
  • Billion dollar idea:
    • A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell “I’m just cooking!”

The Master Chef Quiz

Author’s Note

Cooking jokes remind us that humor can be as delightful as a well-prepared meal. These jokes playfully blend wordplay and culinary references to serve up laughter in the kitchen and at the dining table. So, whether you’re a gourmet chef or just enjoy a good meal, these jokes add a pinch of humor to the art of cooking and eating!

Check out this funny cooking fails video that will make you laugh until your sides hurt. 

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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