Alaska Jokes To Bring A Smile To Every Wilderness Lover

Alaska is one of the most amazing places in the US. With an endless wilderness to explore, breathtaking landscape, and ice-cold rivers, this place is a wonderful place to visit. While the place is so beautiful, it still manages to attract some of the funniest jokes. 

We’ve compiled a list of the funniest jokes from the land of the midnight sun. They’re all funny, gross, or disturbing, but they all have one thing in common: they’ll make you laugh. Have fun and Enjoy!

Funny Alaska Jokes

  • What does the Alaska police say during an interrogation?
    • Alaska questions here.
  • What do you call your sibling’s Alaskan daughter?
    • Brrr-niece.
  • What do you know about Alaskans?
    • You know the best leaves to use for toilet paper! 
  • How did the Anchorage school district not have enough buses to transport children?
    • Because they had to buy the Zambonis first! 
  • What are the best ways for Alaskans to exercise their upper bodies?
    • By shoveling their driveways!
  • What caused the Alaskan to get frost bite?
    • He was walking around brrrrrrrfooted.
  • What made the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?
    • Just for the halibut.
  • How do Russians drive to Alaska?
    • By bearing straight.
  • Taco Bells are so prevalent in Anchorage, why is that?
    • Because Alaskans love brrrrrrrritos. 
  • An emotionally unstable animal who lives in Alaska and vacations in Antarctica is called what?
    • A Bipolar Bear.
  • What is the best place to dock your boat in Alaska?
    • “Anchor” age.
  • Prostitutes in Alaska are called what?
    • A eskihoe.

Humorous Alaska Puns and Stories

  • Alaskans do not keep their money in greedy banks.
    • They keep it in Fairbanks.
  • If you have four seasons, you might be an Alaskan.
    • 1) Almost Winter 2) Winter 3) Still Winter 4) Construction
  • Let’s play a game of Ketchican. 
  • If the Ninja Turtles moved to Alaska,
    • they would live in Seward.
  • Denali ain’t just a river in Egypt.
  • Alaska has its own capital!
    • Did Juneau that?
  • When I was in Alaska, I thought I saw an eye doctor.
    • But it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian.
  • In Alaska, a man encountered a small, agitated bear while he was hunting.
    • To survive, he shot the bear.
    • In order to eat dinner, he decided to use it and cook in the woods.
    • It was tasty, even though it was a little grizzly.
  • In Alaska, no one dates in the winter.
    • One Alaskan answered, “We try, but it’s hard to break the ice.”
  • At McDonald’s, what do Alaskans order?
    • Icberg-ers with chili sauce.
  • Our family went on vacation to Alaska.
    • When we landed, dad asked: “Is Juneau the capital of Alaska?”
  • You can go to Alaska if you want…
    • but I wouldn’t Anchorage it.
  • My wife tried to get me interested in this documentary on Alaska and its people.
    • I’m just not Inuit.
  • In a kayak, two Eskimos were chilly, but when they lit a fire, the craft sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it at the same time.
  • Don’t know if my mom knows I’m here,
    • Alaska later.

Quotes about Alaska

  • “To the lover of wilderness, Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.”
    • –John Muir
  • “Moose are the squirrels of Alaska.”
    • –Tim Moon
  • “I’ve been under the spell of the North ever since my childhood in Alaska. More and more, I’ve been returning to Alaska, and sometimes my adventures inspire a story.”
    • – Will Hobbs.
  • “Kids in Alaska don’t know they’re growing up on the Last Frontier. It’s just what they see on the license plates, and it’s something tourists like to say a lot because they’ve never been around so many mountains and moose before.”
    • –Tom Bodett.
  • “This was one of the places people told me to go, it was one the big trips that you should see: Alaska.”
    • –Jeff Goldblum.
  • Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it ‘white’
    • –Bing Crosby
  • Historically, Alaska is a place that has attracted those fed up with conventionality.
    • –Bill O’Reilly

Crazy Alaska One-Liners

  • If you can’t imagine life without duct tape,
    • you might be an Alaskan!
  • If you owe more money on your snow machine than your car,
    • you might be an Alaskan. 
  • Alaska:
    • 11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!
  • If you know which leaves make good toilet paper,
    • you’re in Alaska.
  • When the mayor calls you by your first name on the street,
    • you’re in Alaska.
  • In Alaska,
    • people use fridges to keep food from freezing. 
  • In Alaska,
    • the sunset literally lasts until the sunrise.
  • When I heard that the sun doesn’t shine in Alaska, I was afraid to move.
    • And then, it dawned on me. 
  • Alaska:
    • A place where school can be cancelled due to warm weather. 

Alaska is truly a place apart. The culture, the experiences, the natural beauty, the wildlife, the history, the people, everything is unique.

It’s a place where you can experience solitude, community, and everything in between and with Alaska jokes you can quip and laugh about the fascinating nature of this great wilderness state. I hope these funny Alaska jokes made you giggle! 

Enjoy this collection of jokes, quotes, and songs. They’ll brighten your day. Some of them are listed below. 

Check out these Funny Husky and Alaskan Malamute videos compilation – cute and funniest Dogs and Puppies alive.

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