Funny Vacuum Jokes That Will Make You Laugh While You Clean

Vacuuming may not be the most enjoyable thing to do, but it needs to be done. With these funny vacuum jokes, you’ll laugh while you clean. So next time you need to vacuum, you can lighten up the moment for yourself and for your family.

Make your kitchen funnier with these cooking jokes, tomato jokes, and dry jokes.

Hilarious Vacuum Humor

  • Last night, I dreamed that I was vacuuming with the Grim Reaper.
    • I was Dyson with death.
  • In order to vacuum more effectively, I now wear boxing gloves.
    • Just call me Dyson Fury.
  • Spent 3 hours in the Emergency Room…
    • the Dyson Ball vacuum has a VERY misleading name.
  • It was finally time for me to sell my vacuum cleaner.
    • All it was doing was gathering dust!
  • A single life is like a vacuum cleaner.
    • When you are turned on, it sucks.
  • Once, I was inside a vacuum chamber.
    • It was breath taking.
  • The abortion clinic has a vacuum system they call it…
    • Woomba.
  • As soon as Microsoft creates a product that doesn’t suck.
    • It’ll be a vacuum!
  • I was asked by my wife to vacuum the floor.
    • I said “come on, that is beneath me”.
  • If you think your microwave and TV are spying on you.
    • Over the years, your vacuum cleaner has accumulated dirt on you.
  • This vacuum and I are always fighting, it’s exasperating.
  • Recently, a well stole my vacuum cleaner.
    • I showed my friend a picture and he sent “well that sucks”.
  • As I told my son, I found his hamster in the vacuum cleaner.
    • With tears in his eyes he said, “Please get a new one, daddy…”
    • “I was thinking the same,” I said, “the suction is absolutely terrible.”
  • Our household needs a new vacuum cleaner.
    • The one we’ve got just collects dust.
  • My daughter complained about her chores.
    • She asked if she should vacuum the entire apartment.
    • I said, “no, just do the floor.”
  • I just spent three hours vacuuming up spiders in the basement.
    • This ungrateful woman then told me, “That’s not what I meant when I said I wanted you to clean my cobwebs.”.
  • I just bought a vacuum cleaner from a Buddhist who sells them door to door.
    • I should have known better…it came with no attachments.
  • Wife: The vacuum cleaner doesn’t suction like it used to.
    • Husband: Neither does the dish washer.
  • I told my son that I had found his hamster.
    • He was ecstatic.
    • That is, until I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.

Funny Vacuum Jokes

  • What did the ghost tell the vacuum cleaner?
    • “You really suck the life out of a room!”
  • What is the best way to fix a broken vacuum cleaner?
    • With a “dust”-ectomy!
  • The vacuum cleaner went to therapy for what reason?
    • Because it had too many “suction”-related issues!
  • At the party, what did one vacuum cleaner say to the other vacuum cleaner?
    • “Let’s have a clean conversation!”
  • What are the signs that a vacuum cleaner is having a midlife crisis?
    • It starts chasing “young” cords!
  • How come vacuum cleaners never tell jokes?
    • Because they’re afraid they might “suck”!
  • In a vacuum chamber, what do you call a bunch of flies?
    • Walks.
  • Have you heard about the new CEO of the vacuum company?
    • He was hired because of his good business Vacuumen.
  • What’s the difference between a Harley-Davidson and a Hoover vacuum cleaner?
    • On the Hoover the Dirtbag is on the inside.
  • Is there a reason why dogs are afraid of outer space?
    • Because it’s a vacuum.
  • What is an anti-vaxxer’s favorite vacuum brand?
    • Dyson.
  • What’s the difference between Donald Trump and a vacuum?
    • A vacuum has a filter.
  • When a blind girl has a vacuum, what do you call her?
    • A Roomba. 
  • In space, what do you call a janitor?
    • A vacuum cleaner.
  • Why was the billionaire’s body burned on a pyre and then sealed in a giant vacuum bag?
    • To ensure he would still be crisp in 1,000 years.
  • What’s the difference between a biker and a vacuum?
    • The position of the dirt bag.
  • A vacuum cleaner salesman murdered his son by saying what?
    • Dyson!
  • When a vacuum sweeper explodes, what sound does it make?
    • KA-BROOM!!!

The Vacuum Buff Challenge

Author’s Note

In the world of humor, vacuum jokes suck us into a whirlwind of laughter, proving that even the most mundane aspects of life can be a source of amusement. So, whether you’re cleaning up a mess or simply enjoying some light-hearted banter, remember that humor, like a trusty vacuum cleaner, can help you sweep away the dust of the day and leave you with a smile.

Animals’ best friend or worst enemy is the vacuum cleaner. These awesome animal videos will make our day better and make us laugh together.

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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