Dry Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Your Head Off

Studies have shown that laughing regularly helps you fight stress and can also relieve physical pain. A sense of humor is something that everyone has a preference for, but do you have a dry sense of humor? 

Dry humor is also known as deadpan humor and usually made by people who want to say something funny but do not want to be the center of attention. 

Some people like their jokes to tell a story and others prefer a classic one liner. Well here are the funniest dry humor jokes and one liners to keep you laughing.

Keep these jokes in mind for your next reading: Non Jokes, Aht Aht Aht Jokes, Comedian Jokes. Although they are the corniest jokes you’ll ever read, they will have you laughing until you cry.

Funny Dry Humor Jokes 

  • A cow with a twitch is called what?
    • Beef jerky. 
  • Frogs wear what kind of shoes?
    • Open toad sandals.
  • When french fries meet after a long time, what do they do?
    • They ketchup.
  • When an organ donor dies, what does he do?
    • He mingles in the crowd.
  • What is the best way for me to eat consciously?
    • You try not to lose consciousness when eating.
  • What is small, square and green?
    • A small green square.
  • When the fish swam into a wall, what did he say?
    • Dam.
  • Can openers that don’t work are called what?
    • A can’t opener! 
  • What makes pigs never appear in trees?
    • Because they’re pretty good at it. 
  • Is there a difference between a hippo and a zippo?
    • A hippo’s really heavy and a zippo’s a little lighter.
  • Can you tell me what’s red and smells like blue paint?
    • Red paint.
  • What’s brown and ringing like a bell?
    • Dung.
  • What is the main cause of dry skin?
    • Towels.
  • What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and moist?
    • Gum!
  • Why did Mr. Potato Head’s dry cleaning service go out of business?
    • He always used too much starch.
  • How do you describe a joke that isn’t funny?
    • A sentence.
  • Do you know why everyone avoids my house?
    • It’s haunted.
  • What do monkey and pancake batter have in common?
    • They both love bananas.
  • The toilet paper rolled downhill for what reason?
    • To get to the bottom. 
  • Have you heard about the butter rumor?
    • Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.
  • How come oysters don’t donate to charity?
    • They’re shellfish.
  • What does a baby computer call its father?
    • Data.

Hilarious Dry Humor One-Liners

  • Piano was once something I played by ear
    • but now I use my hands.
  • Parallel lines have a lot in common.
    • It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
    • It’s impossible to put down.
  • My friends are all electricians.
    • We have such great current connections.
  • A friend of mine was unable to pay his water bill.
    • I sent him a “get well soon” card.
  • I call my horse Mayo…
    • and sometimes Mayo neighs.
  • Shopping mall wife’s average speed:
    • $200 per hour.
  • A flat earther’s only fear…
    • is sphere itself. 
  • In my pajamas, I shot an elephant one morning.
    • How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know.
  • Taking out my smoking jacket,
    • I washed it under the tap, then sat down to relax.
  • If you have ever stayed in the UK for more than two days,
    • you will know that something has to be “dry”.
  • Hell is red hot, dry and mostly empty,
    • so how do Australians know they’re dead?
  • Despite having dry skin, my friend doesn’t like to talk about it…
    • She’d rather just sweep it under the carpet.
  • I composed a song about tortillas.
    • Actually, it’s more of a wrap. 
  • I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.
    • – Elayne Boosler 
  • Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
    • – Whitney Brown
  • So I got off the plane and I forgot to take off my seat-belt, and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal.The wings are knocking people over.”
    • – Steven Wright.

The Dry Wit Quiz

Author’s Note

A dry sense of humor can be a little tricky because the funny things said are not always evident. However, the jokes are always funny and are not really subtle.

We hope you enjoyed our collection of dry humor jokes and one-liners. If you like this kind of humor, you can try it out yourself with the help of this article: Ways to Develop a Subtle, Spontaneous, and Dry Sense of Humor.

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