Clean Jokes That Will Make You Laugh No Matter Your Age

Want to make your crowd laugh?

Are they all adults or are some of them little cute kids? 

No worries! Clean jokes are your best bet! 

All of us need to laugh, which is why many jokes have been created. What exactly is a clean joke? According to most people, clean jokes are those that don’t offend children and adults, and have clean meanings. 

Whether you are alone or with a group of people, these clean jokes will make you laugh.

Keep the happy vibes going with clown jokes, animal jokes for kids, and grandma jokes.

Clean Jokes Come a Silly Laugh

  • Have you heard about the painter who was hospitalized?
    • The doctors say it was due to too many strokes.
  • Can you tell me what one ocean said to the other ocean?
    • Nothing, it just waved.”
  • Is there a reason why frogs seem to be so happy all the time?
    • They eat whatever bugs them.
  • Is there a reason why the taxi driver was fired?
    • Passengers didn’t like it when she went the extra mile.
  • Humpty Dumpty loves autumn for what reason?
    • Because he always has a great fall.
  • Can you tell me what the nose said to the finger?
    • “Quit picking on me!”
  • What caused bread and margarine to break up?
    • Because he found a butter lover.
  • Have you heard about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
    • It had great food, but no atmosphere.
  • In what way does a flea like to travel?
    • Itch hiking.
  • Can you tell me where the General keeps his armies?
    • In his sleeves!
  • Can you tell me if Google is male or female?
    • Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
  • When the duck bought lipstick, what did he say?
    • “Put it on my bill.”
  • If you have thirteen apples in one hand and ten oranges in the other, what do you have?
    • Big hands.
  • What is the world’s tallest building?
    • The library, because it has so many stories.
  • Bananas have to wear sunscreen, why?
    • They might peel.
  • Have you heard about the hairdresser?
    • She dyed.
  • Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?
    • The outside.
  • Witches must pass what test?
    • A spell-ing test!
  • When the fish swam into a wall, what did he say?
    • “Dam.”
  • When a beach is very small, what washes up?
    • Microwaves. 
  • Can you guess what the blanket said to the bed?
    • “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”
  • Can you tell me what the tie said to the hat?
    • “You go on a head and I’ll hang around.”  
  • Have you heard about the angry pancake?
    • He just flipped. 
  • Do you know what you call someone who doesn’t like carbs?
    • Lack-Toast Intolerant.
  • Is there a reason why pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?
    • Because they could spend years at C.
  • Do you want to hear a pizza joke?
    • Nahhh, it’s too cheesy!
  • What was the reason for the scarecrow’s promotion?
    • Because he was out standing in his field!
  • Do ticks and the Eiffel Tower have anything in common?
    • They’re both Paris sites.
  • When a factory makes good products, what do you call it?
    • A satisfactory.
  • Do you know about the chocolate record player?
    • It sounds pretty sweet.
  • Is there a reason why the burglar took a shower?
    • Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. 
  • Is there a reason why spiders are so intelligent?
    • They can find everything on the web.
  • What’s the fastest way to get to the hospital?
    • Just stand in the middle of the road. 
  • Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
    • Nevermind. It’s tearable.
  • During a race, what did a tomato say to another tomato?
    • “Ketchup!” 

Funny Clean Lines To Break Bad Moods

  • I tried to win a suntanning competition.
    • Bronze was all I got.
  • My Asian roommate says I have schizophrenia.
    • I don’t have a roommate, jokes on him.
  • It’s always windy in a sports arena. 
    • Fans everywhere.
  • Iron Man is technically a FEmale.
  • When asked what steps I would take in case of an explosion, I failed a fire safety course.
    • Apparently, “Really big ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.
  • Thanks to student loans, I was able to attend college.
    • I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.
  • Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
    • “Wow, this place is really hot,” one of them said, while the other shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!”
  • The other day, I sold my vacuum.
    • All it was doing was collecting dust. 
  • I gave away my dead batteries today.
    • They were free of charge.
  • My clothes seemed to be shrinking in the dryer. 
    • Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
  • Keeping the house clean with kids around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. 
  • I would tell you a vacuum joke, but vacuums always stink. 
  • The towel can’t joke around. 
    • They have a dry sense of humor. 
  • It would be nice if I could explain my feelings the way I explain my location to a delivery boy.
  • It turns out that alcohol is gay, because when you’re drunk, you can’t think straight. 

What makes you laugh? A good joke can have the power to take you back to your childhood and can make you laugh no matter what age you are. This list of funny jokes hopes to provide you with a list of clean jokes that can make you laugh no matter what age you are.

Again, let me remind you of the benefits of laughter. Be happy as you read on!

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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