Funny Turtle Jokes That Will Give You A Shell-ebration

Turtles are one of the most loved animals in the world. They’re cute, funny, and a complete delight to take care of. If you own a turtle then you’ll definitely understand why the turtle is the king of all animals. 

Turtles never fail to make us smile. These funny turtle jokes will give you a shell-ebration.

Hilarious Turtle Jokes

  • Turtles communicate with each other in what ways?
    • With “shellegrams”!
  • What kind of music does a turtle like to listen to?
    • Slow and steady rock!
  • What keeps turtles in shape?
    • They do “shelleton” exercises!
  • Can you tell me why the turtle brought a ladder to the beach?
    • Because it wanted to go to the “shell”-ter!
  • At the race, what did one turtle say to the other turtle?
    • “I’ll see you at the finish line… eventually!”
  • What can you do to stop a turtle from biting its nails?
    • Give it a “turtle manicure”!
  • What do turtles do on their birthday?
    • They shell-ebrate.
  • What makes a turtle can’t eat McDonald’s?
    • Because a turtle is too slow for fast food.
  • Turtles are famous for what?
    • A shell-ebrity.
  • Why did Leonardo put his head in a piano?
    • Because he wanted to play by ear.
  • If a sea turtle truck crashes into a terrapin train, what do you call it?
    • A turtle disaster.
  • The result of crossing a turtle and a lama?
    • A turtle neck sweater.
  • What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine?
    • A slowpoke.
  • Why did the turtle cross the road?
    • To cross over.
  • The cow said what to the turtle?
    • Get a mooove on.
  • When you want to buy a turtle, what happens?
    • You have to shell out a lot of money.
  • Turtles who commit crimes go where?
    • To the prison shell-block.
  • When a turtle rides a bike, what should he wear?
    • A shell-met.
  • When’s a turtle not a turtle?
    • When he’s shell-fish.
  • What do turtles love?
    • Slow dances.
  • What did the turtle tell the taco?
    • “Is that my shell or yours?”
  • How do you call a turtle who loves photography?
    • A snapping turtle.
  • Why don’t turtles forget?
    • Because they have turtle recall.
  • Friend and I attended turtle pun class yesterday.
    • It tortoise nothing.
  • What’s the name of a turtle with 6 feet?
    • A 6 foot turtle.
  • Turtle’s favorite game?
    • Beakaboo.
  • How do you call a flying turtle?
    • A shell-a-copter.
  • When it rains, where does a turtle go?
    • A shell-ter.
  • What’s a turtle chef called?
    • A slow- cooker.
  • What is a turtle’s favorite sandwich?
    • Seanut butter and jelly-fish.
  • Which turtle jokes do they tell?
    • Shell-larious ones.
  • What do you  get when you cross a turtle and a giraffe?
    • A turtle-neck.
  • What do you call turtles that are only awake at night?
    • Noc-turtles.
  • Turtles communicate with what?
    • A shell-phone.
  • Which type of photos does a turtle like?
    • Shellfies.
  • How do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
    • A snapping turtle.
  • Where do you find a leg-less turtle?
    • Wherever you left it!
  • A turtle’s favorite Shakespearean line?
    • “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?”
  • When a frog jumped out from behind a bush, what did the turtle say?
    • “Oh, you sturtled me!”
  • The turtle said what to the taco?
    • “My shell or yours?”

Wild Laughs with Animal Jokes: Spider Jokes, Bear Jokes, Turkey Jokes

Funny Conversations About Turtles

  • Jess: Bobby, what’s that snapping turtle doing on the highway?
    • Bobby: I don’t know?
    • Jess: About 1 km/h.
  • Recently, I asked my local bookshop if they had any books about turtles, one of my favourite animals.
    • The bookshop lady asked “hard back?”
    • I replied “yep with small heads”.
  • A turtle is mugged by two snails as he walks down the road.
    • He is absolutely shell-shocked.
    • Upon being asked by the police what happened, the turtle replies, “I don’t know, it all happened so fast”.
  • A turtle strolls into a restaurant for a light lunch and orders soup.
    • “Sorry, sir, but this restaurant doesn’t serve turtle soup.”, says the server.
  • At the zoo, my son asked, “why are those turtles playing piggyback?”
    • At that moment, I knew I had to explain, “sons, those are tortoises”.
  • I went to the book shop to see if they had any turtle books.
    • Cashier asked “hardback?”
    • I said “yes, and little heads!”

The Turtley Awesome Quiz

Author’s Note

In the world of turtle jokes, humor moves at a leisurely pace but never fails to bring a smile. These jokes remind us that life’s not always a race, and sometimes, the slow and steady approach can be quite entertaining.

So, whether you’re a fan of turtles or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes prove that even the most patient creatures can inspire humor and laughter in unexpected ways.

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