Turtles are one of the most loved animals in the world. They’re cute, funny, and a complete delight to take care of. If you own a turtle then you’ll definitely understand why the turtle is the king of all animals.
Turtles never fail to make us smile. These funny turtle jokes will give you a shell-ebration.
Hilarious Turtle Jokes
- Turtles communicate with each other in what ways?
- With “shellegrams”!
- What kind of music does a turtle like to listen to?
- Slow and steady rock!
- What keeps turtles in shape?
- They do “shelleton” exercises!
- Can you tell me why the turtle brought a ladder to the beach?
- Because it wanted to go to the “shell”-ter!
- At the race, what did one turtle say to the other turtle?
- “I’ll see you at the finish line… eventually!”
- What can you do to stop a turtle from biting its nails?
- Give it a “turtle manicure”!
- What do turtles do on their birthday?
- They shell-ebrate.
- What makes a turtle can’t eat McDonald’s?
- Because a turtle is too slow for fast food.
- Turtles are famous for what?
- A shell-ebrity.
- Why did Leonardo put his head in a piano?
- Because he wanted to play by ear.
- If a sea turtle truck crashes into a terrapin train, what do you call it?
- A turtle disaster.
- The result of crossing a turtle and a lama?
- A turtle neck sweater.
- What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine?
- A slowpoke.
- Why did the turtle cross the road?
- To cross over.
- The cow said what to the turtle?
- Get a mooove on.
- When you want to buy a turtle, what happens?
- You have to shell out a lot of money.
- Turtles who commit crimes go where?
- To the prison shell-block.
- When a turtle rides a bike, what should he wear?
- A shell-met.
- When’s a turtle not a turtle?
- When he’s shell-fish.
- What do turtles love?
- Slow dances.
- What did the turtle tell the taco?
- “Is that my shell or yours?”
- How do you call a turtle who loves photography?
- A snapping turtle.
- Why don’t turtles forget?
- Because they have turtle recall.
- Friend and I attended turtle pun class yesterday.
- It tortoise nothing.
- What’s the name of a turtle with 6 feet?
- A 6 foot turtle.
- Turtle’s favorite game?
- Beakaboo.
- How do you call a flying turtle?
- A shell-a-copter.
- When it rains, where does a turtle go?
- A shell-ter.
- What’s a turtle chef called?
- A slow- cooker.
- What is a turtle’s favorite sandwich?
- Seanut butter and jelly-fish.
- Which turtle jokes do they tell?
- Shell-larious ones.
- What do you get when you cross a turtle and a giraffe?
- A turtle-neck.
- What do you call turtles that are only awake at night?
- Noc-turtles.
- Turtles communicate with what?
- A shell-phone.
- Which type of photos does a turtle like?
- Shellfies.
- How do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
- A snapping turtle.
- Where do you find a leg-less turtle?
- Wherever you left it!
- A turtle’s favorite Shakespearean line?
- “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?”
- When a frog jumped out from behind a bush, what did the turtle say?
- “Oh, you sturtled me!”
- The turtle said what to the taco?
- “My shell or yours?”
Wild Laughs with Animal Jokes: Spider Jokes, Bear Jokes, Turkey Jokes
Funny Conversations About Turtles
- Jess: Bobby, what’s that snapping turtle doing on the highway?
- Bobby: I don’t know?
- Jess: About 1 km/h.
- Recently, I asked my local bookshop if they had any books about turtles, one of my favourite animals.
- The bookshop lady asked “hard back?”
- I replied “yep with small heads”.
- A turtle is mugged by two snails as he walks down the road.
- He is absolutely shell-shocked.
- Upon being asked by the police what happened, the turtle replies, “I don’t know, it all happened so fast”.
- A turtle strolls into a restaurant for a light lunch and orders soup.
- “Sorry, sir, but this restaurant doesn’t serve turtle soup.”, says the server.
- At the zoo, my son asked, “why are those turtles playing piggyback?”
- At that moment, I knew I had to explain, “sons, those are tortoises”.
- I went to the book shop to see if they had any turtle books.
- Cashier asked “hardback?”
- I said “yes, and little heads!”
The Turtley Awesome Quiz
Author’s Note
In the world of turtle jokes, humor moves at a leisurely pace but never fails to bring a smile. These jokes remind us that life’s not always a race, and sometimes, the slow and steady approach can be quite entertaining.
So, whether you’re a fan of turtles or just looking for a good laugh, these jokes prove that even the most patient creatures can inspire humor and laughter in unexpected ways.