Funny Ohio Jokes You Won’t Soon Forget

Ohio has a special place in the hearts of both Americans and the people who live in it. Ohio has many wonderful things to offer. Why not take the opportunity to read a few Ohio jokes to have a good laugh?

You’ll laugh so hard that you’ll feel happy inside after reading these Ohio jokes. Come on, let’s go!

Take a look at these funny Miami jokes, Chicago jokes, and Boston jokes you’re sure to enjoy on your next trip. 

Hilarious Ohio Jokes and Puns

  • In Ohio, what do you call a fish?
    • Lake Erie-sistible!
  • Is there a reason why the Ohioan brought a ladder to the football game?
    • To see over the Buckeye crowd!
  • What type of music is most popular among Ohioans?
    • Buckeye-ntry.
  • What is the best way to make tea in Ohio?
    • They use a “Cincy” kettle!
  • When you cross a Cleveland Browns fan with a Cincinnati Bengals fan, what do you get?
    • A rivalry made in Ohio sports heaven.
  • Is there a reason why Ohioans never get lost?
    • Because they always know the “O-HI-O” way!
  • Can you tell me what the o said to the other o?
    • Ohio.
  • What does the average Ohio University student get on his SAT?
    • Drool.
  • What state speaks Japanese in the US?
    • Ohio.
  • What makes Ohio State football players not sink in the Great Lakes?
    • Because crap floats.
  • What was the reason for covering Ohio Stadium with cardboard?
    • Because the Buckeyes always look better on paper.
  • When blondes move from Michigan to Ohio, what happens?
    • Both states become smarter!
  • Is there a reason why Ohio State disbanded its water polo team?
    • All the horses drowned.
  • Is there a reason why the Ohio State Buckeyes eat cereal straight from the box?
    • They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
  • Are you aware that there is a city in Ohio called “Engagement?”
    • It’s somewhere between Dayton and Marion.
  • Is there a reason Columbus Ohio does not have a professional football team?
    • Because then Cincinnati and Cleveland would want one too.
  • Ohio produced 20 astronauts for what reason?
    • Because it’s so boring, the inhabitants want to leave the planet.
  • What is the most awkward state in the US?
    • ‘O…Hi!…o…’
  • What makes Ohio State so good at football?
    • Because Urban Meyer showed them how to beat everybody.
  • Most of the top urologists in the US hail from what country?
    • Yellow Springs, Ohio.
  • In Ohio, what would you call a carpet cleaning company?
    • Cleveland Steamers.
  • What state is round on both sides and high in the middle?
    • oHIo. 

Funny Ohio Short Stories

  • I urge us all to pray for the people in Ohio.
    • Nothing happened, they just have to live there.
  • An unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station in Ohio with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly requested an X-ray to locate his stolen brain.
    • Police were shocked to discover the man had drilled a 6-inch hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and stuck a wire in to search for the missing brain.
  • My phone is covered with a Cleveland Browns case.
    • Now all my calls get intercepted. 
  • If there were actually unhappy cows, we’d imagine they would have to be from Ohio.
  • In Japanese, ohayo means “good morning.”.
    • And that is the most interesting thing about Ohio.
  • Cleveland, Ohio, is under tornado warnings.
    • Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.
  • The Ohio and Michigan Institute of Lions and Tigers and Bears.
    • OH,MI.
  • Japanese tourists love visiting Ohio.
    • It’s always morning there, which amazes them.
  • Ohio weather is bipolar.
    • (Except it’s more like “quadpolar”. Too bad that isn’t a word. We could really use it here.)

Funny Lines About Ohio

  • Ohio Laws:
    • If you ignore an orator on Decoration Day to such an extent that you play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker’s stand, you can be fined $25.00.
  • Ohio Laws:
    • According to the Ohio driver’s education manual, you must honk the horn when passing another vehicle.
  • Ohio:
    • Not sure if it will be 30 degrees or 80 degrees today. 
  • Ohio:
    • At Least We’re Not Michigan.
  • Ohio:
    • Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week. 
  • Ohio:
    • What a lovely spring we’re having. 
  • Ohio:
    • Our hatred of Michigan is greater than any other.
  • You Know You’re from Ohio When:
    • You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
  • You Know You’re from Ohio When:
    • Every festival in the state is named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
  • You Know You’re from Ohio When:
    • Beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows are the major food groups you think of.
  • You Know You’re from Ohio When:
    • As soon as someone opens their mouth, you know if they are from southern, middle, or northern Ohio.
  • You Know You’re from Ohio When:
    • You have a Buckeye necklace.
  • You Know You’re from Ohio When:
    • Any time, anywhere you scream “O-H,” someone will reply “I-O!”.”
  • Ohio’s 12 Seasons: 
    • Winter
    • Fool’s Spring
    • Second Winter
    • Spring of Deception
    • Third Winter
    • The Pollening
    • Actual Spring
    • Summer
    • Hell’s Front Porch
    • False Fall
    • Second Summer
    • Actual Fall

The Ohio Nature Quiz

Author’s Note

Ohio, where football rivalries are fierce, cornfields are a-maize-ing, and the weather keeps you guessing, proving that the heartland has a big heart for humor.

These Ohio jokes celebrate the Buckeye State’s unique culture and humor. Share them with your friends and fellow Ohioans for a good laugh!

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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