36 Funny Morning Jokes To Brighten Up Your Day

There is no better time of the day than the morning. Nothing beats waking up in the morning feeling fresh and energized to start the day. A good joke or two can start off the day perfectly if you are feeling inspired in the morning.

The humor on this blog will include funny morning jokes, puns, funny stories, and one-liners that will tickle your funny bone.

Best Morning Jokes and Puns

In the morning, what did one wall say to the other wall?
- “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
Is there a reason why the coffee filed a police report?
- It got mugged!

When a group of musical whales sings in the morning, what do you call them?
- A pod-cast!
Is there a reason why the cereal went to therapy?
- It had too many “flakey” issues!

Which fruit is a vampire’s favorite for breakfast?
- A blood orange!
A pile of cats in the morning is called what?
- A meowtain!

Why did the teddy bear refuse breakfast?
- Because it was stuffed!
What causes birds to sing in the morning?
- Because they don’t go to work.

Did you hear about the man who forgot which side the sun rose from when he woke up in the morning?
- It eventually dawned on him.
Have you heard of the man who gets hit by the very same bike every morning?
- It’s a vicious cycle.

Have you heard the shocking news about Yahoo this morning?
- Apparently, they still have 500 million users.
What beverage do all sick people drink in the morning?
- Cough-ee.

Early in the morning, what color is the sun?
- Rose.
What is the shape of your hair when you wake up in the morning?
- A wrecktangle.

What does organized ghost do first thing in the morning?
- Makes a to boo list.
What’s yellow and brightens every parent’s day in the morning?
- The school bus.
Why do people dread the mornings in Athens?
- Because dawn is tough on Greece.
What did the egg tell the pot of boiling water?
- It might take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning.
When the tomato attempted to help his friend who tripped and fell while jogging in the morning, what did he say?
- He said, “just grab my Heinz, I’ll help you up.”

If you drank a gold-colored hot drink in a golden cup every morning, what would you call it?
- My gilt-tea pleasure.
What did the one-handed man eat for breakfast this morning?
- Finger food
How does the ocean greet you in the morning?
- It doesn’t say anything.
- It just waves.
Have you heard about the guy who says he’ll run every morning but doesn’t?
- It was a running joke.
What’s the best way to spend a morning?
- Open your eyes, take a deep breath, and go back to sleep.
What do writers eat in the morning?
- Synonym buns.
Why does the dictator like to go shopping early in the morning?
- Because he loves to beat the crowds.

After you finish drinking your morning cup of tea, what do you do?
- It becomes emptea.
What do lobsters drink in the morning?
- Clawfee.

Hilarious Morning One-Liners

I was drinking coffee in my slippers this morning and thought to myself…
- I really need to wash some mugs.
Yesterday I bought one of those traveling irons.
- Woke up this morning and it was gone.
This morning, my son was on eBay.
- Child services were not impressed with me.

I was told my clothes were gay by someone.
- I said “Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning.”

Try drinking a pint of water before you go to bed if you’re depressed.
- It’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

This morning I bought a dog from a blacksmith…
- Within 10 minutes of getting him home he made a bolt for the door.
I told my niece I saw a moose on my way to work this morning.
- She said, “How do you know he was on his way to work?”

At 2:30 in the morning, my neighbor knocked on my door!
- Luckily for him i was still up playing my drums

On my way to work this morning, I rear-ended another car because I wasn’t paying attention.
- The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf.
- He looked at me and said “I’m not happy.”
- I replied “Well, which one are you then?”

I wonder if the sun will rise every morning.
- Then it dawns on me.
I have a joke on early mornings…
- Are you up for it?
Again, no one stood before my bed this morning to say,
- “Your Royal Highness, here is your Mimosa.”
When I wake up in the morning, I wait in my bed for my mom to prepare breakfast.
- And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom.
The waitress at breakfast this morning was really unsettling.
- She gave me the crêpes.
“I hate mornings, they start so early.”
- – Janet Evanovich