Funny Jokes and Puns About Leaving You Will Laugh At

When people around you are talking of leaving and you feel it too, it’s hard not to joke about it. 

That said, maybe you would like to blaze a trail, take a chance and get out there! 

So, let’s have a look at the best jokes and puns about leaving and see if their funny side tells you anything about the situation.

Crazy Puns About Leaving 

• When you reach places by highway, how do you leave those places?
  • A byeway.

• What did one fly tell the other fly leaving the restroom?
  • Zip up your man.
• How do you say goodbye to your two sons?
  • Bison.
• What does an Italian Terminator say when leaving?
  • Pasta La Pizza Baby!
• What can stab you while leaving a cool refreshing sensation?
  • Spearmint.
• While you’re in the bathroom, if you are Russian and you are Finnish, what are you doing while you’re in the bathroom?
  • European.
• What do lawyers say when they leave their office?
  • I’ll be suing ya!
• As three Canadians drive along, their car breaks down, leaving them stranded. Who do they call?
  • Triple eh.
• Have you heard about the guy who traveled to Czechoslovakia and was not allowed to leave for a long time?
  • Poor guy. They made a movie about him: 12 Years A Slav.
• I hate it when bay leaves.
• Leaf me alone!
• Micro-waving you goodbye!
• I donut want to say goodbye. 
• Convoy trucks are leaving Ottawa.
  • They’re on the Highway to Hull.
• Saying goodbye is never easy.
  • Lets ketchup soon.

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Funny Jokes and One-Liners About Leaving

• What made the astronaut leave his girlfriend?
  • Because he wanted space.
• As clients leave a sperm bank, what does the receptionist say?
  • Thanks for coming!
• When the UK leaves the EU, how much space will be freed up?
  • 1 GB.
• How come the family couldn’t leave the room after playing with Legos?
  • They were blocked.
• What caused the pig to leave early?
  • Because everyone thought he was a boar!
• Once my dog ate all the tiles in Scrabble.
  • He kept leaving little messages around the house.
• 90% of men kiss their wives goodbye when they leave the house.
  • 10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
• For Halloween, I’m dressed as the Republican healthcare bill.
  • I won’t be leaving the house.

• My wife is considering leaving me because of my poker habit.
  • But I think she’s bluffing.

• Him: I’m leaving. It gets old seeing you wear a different shirt every 30 minutes.
  • Me: Wait, I can change. 

• I did not believe my wife when she said she would leave me if I kept quoting Shrek.
  • But then I saw her face.
• On the fridge, my wife wrote, “This isn’t working. Goodbye.”
  • I opened it and it works fine.

• I sneezed while saying goodbye to my dad the other day because he’s a little crazy.
  • He replied: “Cashew later too, son.”

• Interviewer: What made you leave your last job? 
  • Me: The company shifted their office and didn’t tell me where it is.

• Brittany T. I told my boss that three companies wanted me and I needed a raise to stay at my job.
  • After a few minutes of haggling, he gave me a 5% raise.
  • Leaving his office, he asked, “By the way, which companies are after you?”
  • I replied, “The gas, electric, and cable companies.”

• She leaves me with the impression that she will mark the exact spot when we bury the hatchet.
• Yes, that’s right…
  • I’m leaving work early to make up for my lateness.

The act of leaving is difficult, whether you are a person leaving or a person left behind. But do not be sad. You can make the goodbye laughable by sharing these light-hearted jokes.

Check out the most epic and hilarious ways people have quit their jobs.