40+ Funny Horse Jokes That Will Make You Go WOAH!

Not only are horses majestic creatures, but those guys have some pretty good sense of humour too! From the time we were kids, our parents have always told us that laughing is the best medicine.

Therefore, it is not surprising to see how the strong bond between humans and horses is explored in films, TV shows and on the internet.

WOAH! Here are funniest horse jokes that will make you laugh out loud.

Hilarious Horse Jokes and Puns

Do you know the band Foals?
- They have a colt following.
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
- Neighbor!
When a horse is sick, what kind of medicine should you give him?
- Cough stirrup.
Among the world’s best horse thieves, who were the two?
- Bonnie and Clydesdale!
Can you tell me what horse’s favorite sport is?
- Stable-tennis!
What caused the horse to run away in the middle of its wedding?
- It got colt feet!
The farmer gave his pony a cough drop for what reason?
- Its throat was a little hoarse.
When ponies are possessed by demons, who do they turn to?
- An ex-horse-ist!
Could you tell me why the horse was feeling so stressed?
- It was saddled with responsibility!
How would you describe a horse that can’t lose?
- Sherbet.
When horses are sick, where do they go?
- The horsepital.
What was the purpose of the man standing behind the horse?
- He was hoping to get a kick out of it.
When an Amish guy sticks his hand in a horse’s mouth, what do you call him?
- A mechanic.
When does a horse speak?
- Whinney wants to!
When the horse fell over, what did it say?
- I’ve fallen over and I can’t giddyup!
When you find a horseshoe, what does it mean?
- Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

Can I ask you about equestrian?
- Neigh.
Can you tell me how much money a bronco has?
- A buck.
Is there anything black and white that eats like a horse?
- A zebra.
What makes most horses look so fit?
- Because they’re on a stable diet.
What made the horse stay up all night studying for his test?
- He wanted to get a hay plus!

Is there a time when a horse gets depressed by the weather?
- When it reins.
What does one use to tie a horse’s ankles?
- Fetlocks!
What was it like for the horse with the speech impediment after the corrective surgery went wrong?
- A bit filly.
Horses don’t like being promoted, why is that?
- They hate being saddled with extra responsibility.
Can you tell me how long the legs of a horse should be?
- Long enough to reach the ground.

What was the purpose of the man standing behind the horse?
- He was hoping to get a kick out of it.
On Friday, a man rode his horse to town. He rode back the next day, on Friday. What is the possibility of this?
- The horse’s name was Friday.
What is the most hairy side of the horse?
- The outside!
What do you call an Amish guy who has his hand in the mouth of a horse?
- A mechanic.
Imagine yourself riding a horse full speed with a giraffe right next to you and a lion following closely behind. What do you do?
- Get off the carousel and sober up.

Is there a good story to tell about a runaway horse?
- A tale of WHOA!
What are the best ways to make a small fortune on horse racing?
- Start with a large fortune.
What is the four-letter spelling of ‘Hungry Horse’?
- MTGG.

Animal Jokes You’ll Enjoy: Parrot Jokes, Spider Jokes, Shark Jokes, Bear Jokes

Funny Horse Short-Liners and Stories

Earlier in the day, I bet that a horse would come in at 10 to 1 – and it did!
- Unfortunately, everyone else came in around 12.30.
In a bar, a horse walks in.
- “Hey,” says the barman.
- “Yes please,” says the horse.
There was a government-employed doctor in our area who was half man and half horse.
- He was from the centaur for disease control.
My neighbor has a horse that has an explosive pace.
- We should name him Neigh-palm!
My horse purchase was spur of the moment.
- My bad decision has saddled me with tons of responsibilities!
On a frozen racecourse, horses can run smoothly…
- But not furlong.
A horse sits down in a movie theater and the woman next to him asks, “Excuse me… are you a horse?”
- “Why yes, I am,” replies the horse.
- “So what are you doing at this movie?”
- The horse says, “I really liked the book.”