Funny Fish Jokes That Will Make You Split Your Gills Out of Laughing

There are so many zany ways to tell fish jokes, which is what makes them so hilarious. Thousands of ways can be found to turn a fish’s name into a pun or make it rhyme with a funnier word. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Take a look at this list of funny fish jokes you can share with your friends and family. You’re gonna make them split their gills laughing so hard, I’m sure.

Fish Jokes for Kids

  • Is there a kind of fish that only ventures out at night? A starfish.
  • What did the shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich? A jellyfish.
  • What caused the fish to receive such low grades? Because it was below sea level.
  • While fishing, what kind of music should you listen to? Something with a good tune-a!
  •  After eating a clownfish, what did the shark say? It tasted a little funny!
  • What do whales eat for dinner? They eat fish and ships.
  • Where does a fish store its money? A riverbank.
  • What do you call a fish with a lot of money? A goldfish.
  • How many tickles will it take for an octopus to laugh? Ten-tickles.
  • Batman and Robin stopped fishing together for what reason? There were no worms left because Robin ate them all!
  • How can fish be weighed so easily? Because they have their own scales!
  • Shows that fish enjoy watching? “Name That Tuna.”

Fish Jokes for Adults

  • Is there a reason why fish do not do well in school?
    • Because they’re always swimming below “sea” level!
  • How would you describe a fish’s favorite instrument?
    • The bass guitar!
  • In what ways do fish keep up with current events?
    • They read the “fish”paper!
  • Is there a reason why fish don’t play the piano?
    • You can’t tuna fish!
  • When you cross an elephant with a fish, what do you get?
    • Swimming trunks!
  • What is the best way for shellfish to reach the hospital?
    • In a clambulance.
  • What do all fishermen want?
    • A gillfriend.
  • How do you refer to a fish with two legs?
    • A two-knee fish.
  • How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish?
    • Clamouflage!
  • What did the one fish say to the other?
    • Keep your mouth shut and you’ll avoid getting  caught.
  • How do you describe a fish that won’t shut up?
    • A big-mouthed bass.
  • What type of music should you listen to while fishing?
    • Something catchy.
  • What caused the fish to blush?
    • Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
  • Which fish is the fastest in the lake?
    • A motor-Pike.
  • If you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock, what do you get?
    • A hook, line and stinker!
  • When the fish hit the wall, what did he say?
    • “Damn!”
  •  Can you explain why fish don’t like to play basketball?
    • Because they are terrified of nets.

Fish Stories

  • In a bar, a little fish walks in.
    • A bartender asks the fish “What can I get you?”
    • The small fish responds (gasping) “Water! I need water!”
  • As a couple swims in the ocean, a pod of dolphins joins them.
    • The man turns to the woman and says “no fin is better than swimming with dolphins.”
  • Grandad and grandson Billy are searching for fishing worms to use as bait.
    • They find a wide variety of insects, but nothing suitable to use as bait until little Billy shows up and proudly holds up a long dangling insect.
    • Billy says, “Grandad, I found some bait!”.
    • Grandad says “Sorry Billy, we won’t be able to use that. That’s not an earthworm.”
    • In response, Billy asks, “Well what planet does it come from Grandad.”
  • The fish has been arrested and is standing before the jury in court.
    • “How do you find the fish defendant,” the judge says to the jury.
    • “We find the fish to be gill-ty,” one member of the jury says.
  • The two fish are in a tank.
    • One says to the other, “I’ll drive, you shoot the guns.”
  • Son: “Dad, have you ever seen a catfish?”
    • Dad: “I certainly have.”
    • Son: “How does it hold the rod”.

The Fish Breeds Quiz

Author’s Note

I’d like to share some fish trivia with you. Low-pitched sounds are used to communicate between them. There are moans, grunts, creaks, shrieks, hisses, whistles, booms, and croaks. They gnash their teeth and rattle their bones. 

Fish, however, do not  have vocal chords. To make noises, they use other parts of their bodies, such as vibrating muscles against their swim bladders. Amazing, yes? 

If you have any fish jokes to share, please do so. Feel free to add them below in the comment section. 

Would it be correct to assume that these elephant jokes made your day? What’s the next joke you want to tell? Don’t worry, we’re here for you! Below are a few of our most hilarious jokes. Check out Funny Jokes Today‘s entire collection to find more puns.

Just for fun, check out these hilarious fishing fails.

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