Funny Pumpkin Jokes You Can Tell Any Time of the Year

Pumpkin season is just around the corner, so we can look forward to it soon!

A great time to get the kids involved in the kitchen is when you bake some pumpkin cookies, cakes or pies. Also, pumpkin jokes are fun at this time of year.

These pumpkin jokes are perfect to share at any time of year.

Let’s eat some food and laugh at apple jokes, pizza puns, and coconut jokes.

Hilarious Pumpkin Jokes and Puns

  • Pumpkins love sports, so what’s their favorite?
    • Squash!
  • What is the best way to fix a broken pumpkin?
    • With a pumpkin patch!
  • When a pumpkin is late, what do you call it?
    • A “late-bloomer”!
  • Is there a way to make a pumpkin giggle?
    • You tickle its seeds!
  • At the Halloween party, what did one pumpkin say to the other?
    • “You’re smashing!”
  • The pumpkin went to the doctor for what reason?
    • Because it had a bad case of “pumpkin-itis”!
  • What do you call the family of gourds and its relatives?
    • Pump-kin.
  • A pumpkin’s favorite genre would be?
    • Pulp fiction.
  • When you drop a pumpkin, what do you get?
    • Squash.
  • When is an orange no longer an orange?
    • When it’s a pumpkin!
  • What do pumpkins who are adventurous do for fun?
    • Go bungee gourd jumping.
  • Cinderella was bad at football because of what?
    • Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
  • What place do pumpkins gather for meetings?
    • In the gourdroom,
  • How do you describe a pumpkin that can slam-dunk a basketball?
    • Michael Gourdan.
  • The circumference to diameter ratio of a pumpkin is what?
    • Pumpkin pi.
  • How do gourds grow to be so tough?
    • By pumpkin iron!
  • When the pumpkin was asked how he was feeling, what did he say?
    • I’m vine, thanks for asking!”
  • A pumpkin that works at the beach called what?
    • A life-gourd.
  • At the end of Halloween, what did the pumpkin say?
    • Good-pie everyone!
  • What caused the pumpkin to go red?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • What is the greatest filling for a pumpkin pie?
    • Your teeth.
  • A carved pumpkin celebrates what?
    • Hollow-een.
  • What is black, orange, white, and waddles?
    • A penguin with a pumpkin.
  • Gourds are afraid of what?
    • Things that go Pumpkin the night.
  • The jack-o-lantern is afraid to cross the road because?
    • It had no guts.
  • Pumpkins sit on people’s porches for what reason?
    • They have no hands to knock on the door.
  • What did the pumpkin tell to the pumpkin carver?
    • “Cut it out.”
  • What did the pumpkin tell to the pie baker?
    • “Use apples, instead.”
  • What kind of romance do pumpkins like?
    • A mushy romance.  
  • On Halloween, what do surfers say?
    • Gourd vibes only, bro.
  • George Strait said what to the pumpkin?
    • I’m here for a gourd time.
  • If you eat too much pumpkin, what happens?
    • You get autumn-y ache.
  • What is a barking pumpkin called?
    • A gourd dog.
  • Did the queasy pumpkin say anything?
    • I don’t feel so gourd.
  • What do pumpkins say to each other?
    • Happy Hollowing!
  • The pumpkin said what to the jack-o-lantern?
    • “Got a light?”
  • The gourd was so gossip-y, why?
    • To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.
  • The pumpkin took a detour for what reason?
    • To avoid a seedy part of town.
  • Why were the two pumpkins so close together?
    • They have deep roots.
  • What causes pumpkins to perform poorly in school?
    • Because eventually they end up with all their brains scooped out.
  • What do adventurous pumpkins like to do for fun?
    • Go bungee gourd-ping.
  • Which kind of gourd grows on trees?
    • Plumkins.
  • The jack-o-lantern said what to the unripe pumpkin?
    • You are looking a little green. 
  • Was the winter squash used to pay for things?
    • It used pumpkin bread.
  • Can you tell me the pumpkin’s favorite Western?
    • The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly.
  • What caused the pumpkin to cross the road?
    • Because it fell off the wagon!

Crazy Punny Pumpkin One Liners and Quotes

  • There is a saying that a pumpkin a day keeps the goblins away.
    • Seems to be working so far!
  • Slipped on a pumpkin today.
    • It caught me off gourd.
  • You’re the pick of the (pumpkin) patch.
  • I have never met a pumpkin I didn’t like.
  • Blood Type:
    • Pumpkin Spice. My coffee cup tells the truth.
  • What’s Cookin’ Gourd Lookin’?
    • How’s about cooking pumpkin up with me?
  • “Sugar and pumpkin spice and all things nice!”
    • —a play on Robert Southey’s words.
  • “Apples, peaches, pumpkin pie/Soon your love will be all mine.”
    • —Jay & The Techniques
  • “There are three things that I’ve learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.”
    • — It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
  • “I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.”
    • — Henry David Thoreau

The Hilarious Pumpkin Carving Quiz

Author’s Note

We all giggled at a funny pumpkin joke. It’s a great alternative to the corny jokes you hear at dinner time. Do not forget to pass on these pumpkin jokes to your family and friends.

 Find out how to make these DIY Pumpkin costumes for the upcoming Halloween! 

What’s your Reaction?

Leave a comment