Dallas Cowboys Jokes Will Have You Laughing for Sure

The Dallas Cowboys have been a popular football team for many years. While it might not be the team at the top of the list of any self-respecting football fan, there is no denying that the Dallas Cowboys have a massive following.

In this article, you will find the best collection of Dallas Cowboys jokes and short-liners that you can use for your own amusement.

Super Bowl and football jokes will surely make football fans smile. And get inspired by Messi and Ronaldo quotes.

Funny Dallas Cowboys Jokes

  • How many Dallas Cowboys do you need to win a Super Bowl?
    • Only two, Emmitt Smith and Troy Aikman, and they are both retired.
  • What can the Dallas Cowboys and their cheerleaders do together that they cannot do separately?
    • Score.
  • How do the Dallas Cowboys compare with my neighbors?
    • They can’t pick up a single yard!
  • Do you know what to say to a Dallas Cowboy dressed in a suit?
    • Will the defendant please rise.
  • What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do after his team wins the Super Bowl?
    • He turns off the PlayStation.
  • What is the difference between a Dallas Cowboys jersey and a dollar bill?
    • A dollar bill is good for 4 quarters.
  • The Dallas Cowboys and the US Postal Service have what in common?
    • Both, don’t deliver on Sundays.
  • What are the similarities between Brokeback Mountain and the NFL?
    • The cowboys both suck. 
  • What makes cowboys fans easy to date?
    • They love losers and don’t expect a ring. 
  • Which Dallas Cowboys player wears the largest cleats?
    • The one with the biggest feet!
  • What do successful Dallas Cowboys kickers always do?
    • Reach goals.
  • When the Dallas Cowboys football players lost, why did they cry?
    • They’re a bawl club.
  • When the Dallas Cowboys play, why do they laugh so much?
    • Because they’re always horsing around!
  • When a Dallas Cowboys fan’s team wins the Super Bowl, what do they do?
    • He turns off the PlayStation.
  • The Superbowl brings together 20 millionaires, what do you call them?
    • The Dallas Cowboys. 
  • Are you familiar with the man whose dying wish was to have Dallas Cowboys as his pall bearers?
    • He wanted to give them the chance to let him down one last time.
  • What do you call 47 millionaires watching the Super Bowl around a TV?
    • The Dallas Cowboys.
  • When a Dallas Cowboy wears a Super Bowl ring, how do you refer to him?
    • Old.
  • What do Cowboys and possums have in common?
    • Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  • Why does San Antonio not have a professional football team?
    • Because then Dallas would want one too.
  • Dallas Cowboys fans, how do you change a lightbulb?
    • They don’t, they just talk about how good the old one was. 

Hilarious Cowboys Short-Liners

  • Don’t buy a blanket from the Dallas Cowboys secondary…
    • they can’t cover anyone!
  • My broken vacuum is covered with a Dallas Cowboys sticker.
    • Now it sucks again. 
  • I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew last week.
    • It was a choking hazard.
  • Good news & Bad News Cowboys fans:
    • Bad news You’ve lost 3 straight games.
    • Good news, you only have 4 playoff wins in the last 23 years.
  • Cowboy Airplane takes you anywhere you want,
    • just not to the playoffs. 
  • Packers, Bears, and Cowboys fans walk into a bar.
    • The one for the game, the other two to get drunk and wish their teams were better!
  • With the disappointment of Cowboys fans,
    • we could finally become energy independent in the United States. 
  • You’re locked in a room with a bear, a lion, and Cowboys fans.
    • You have a gun with two bullets. Shoot the Cowboys fan, twice.
  • Cheers to the Dallas Cowboys!
    • Not a single playoff victory since 1996. 
  • Two Cowboys tickets were left on the dash of my car.
    • When I returned, I found two more tickets. 

Cowboys and humor, you would think that the two don’t go together but if you live in the state of Texas you would know better. The Cowboys are known for their funny bones as much as their football skills. We hope you enjoyed our funny jokes and one liners about the Dallas Cowboys, football, playoffs. 

You won’t want to miss this hilarious video of things Dallas Cowboys fans say

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