Blonde is a very popular hair color, but only less than 2% of the world’s population has naturally blonde hair.
No matter how they are achieved, blonde hairstyles are always eye-catching whether they’re real or from a bottle.
Having fun with blonde jokes in this blog is sure to bring a big smile to your face!
Hilarious Blonde Jokes
- A blonde cannot dial 911, why?
- She can’t find the eleven.
- How come blonde jokes are so short?
- So brunettes can remember them.
- How did the blonde die from drinking milk?
- The cow fell on her.
- Are beer bottles and blondes related in some way?
- They’re both empty from bottom to top.
- What’s the occupation of the brunette between two blondes?
- An interpreter.
- What was the reason for the blonde running in circles in her bedroom?
- Because she decided to catch up on her sleep.
- Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
- She kept throwing out all the ‘W’s.
- How can you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
- You give them a shampoo that says “rinse, wash, and repeat.”
- Have you heard about the blonde who bought an AM radio?
- It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
- Why do blondes like lightning so much?
- They think someone is taking their picture.
- And why did the blonde go past the medicine cabinet on tiptoe?
- So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills
- What do you call a blonde who never showers?
- A dirty blonde.
- What prompted the blonde to stare at an orange juice bottle for two hours?
- Because it said ‘concentrate’
- What was it that prompted the blonde to do backstroke?
- She had just eaten lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.
- Is it possible to drown a blonde?
- Remind her that life is inane, repetitive, and intrinsically meaningless.
- When a blonde throws a grenade at you, what do you do?
- Lament the absurdity of a world where science is used for war.
- How can you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
- Tell her on Friday night that God has abandoned us, then let her sleep it off.
- What’s long and hard for a blonde?
- A conversation with a brunette who keeps pronouncing Nietzsche “Knee-chee.”
- How does one keep a blonde occupied?
- Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.
- When the blonde saw a box of Cheerios, what did she say?
- “OMG! Donut seeds!”
- How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
- You’ll find Wite Out all over the screen.
- What is the reason why the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
- She was desperately trying to make up her mind.
- Have you heard about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?
- She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe.
- How would you confuse a blonde?
- Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.
- What happened to the blonde when she was raking leaves?
- She fell out of the tree.
- Why can’t you tell knock-knock jokes to blondes?
- Because they go answer the door.
- How could the blonde be disappointed with her trip to England?
- She found out Big Ben was a clock.
- Why was the blonde unable to make Koolaid?
- The 8 cups of water didn’t fit into that little packet.
- How would you drown a submarine full of blondes?
- Knock on the door.
- Why does building a blonde snowman take longer than making a regular one?
- You have to hollow out the head.
Funny Blonde Short Stories
- In the store, a TV is stolen by a robber.
- A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
- The blonde ran with the bike because she thought it was going too fast for her.
- Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”
- Brunette: “I don’t know.”
- Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”
- When the blonde went to buy a pizza, the assistant asked her if she wanted the pizza cut into six pieces or twelve pieces.
- “Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
- One morning, a brunette and a blonde are walking together in a park.
- Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird.
- “Awww, look at the dead birdie,” she says sadly.
- The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, “Where? Where?”
- A blond, a brunette, and a redhead flee to an alley where they hide in potato sacks after robbing a bank.
- The cops first go to the sack with the brunette in it and kick it.
- The brunette says, “Meow.”
- They go to the sack with the redhead and kick it. She says, “Woof, woof.”
- Last, they kick the sack with the blond, and she says, “Po-ta-to.”
- Two blondes were sitting on a bench in Oklahoma talking.
- One blond asks the other, “Which do you think is farther? Florida or the moon?”
- The other blonde turns and says, “Hellooooo, can you see Florida?”
- Being blonde is a big commitment.
- I’m practically married to my toner.
- While driving to Disneyland, two blondes saw a sign that read: Disneyland Left.
- So they started crying and headed home.
- A blonde and a brunette are in a car when the brunette mentions that Christmas falls on a Friday this year.
- The blond says, “I hope it’s not the 13th!”
We hope these jokes make you smile, whether you are blonde or not. Make sure you have fun and laugh a lot! The following jokes will keep you smiling.