Short Funny Jokes That Will Leave You Laughing for Days

We all need a good laugh! Sometimes life is too stressful and we just need to find something that will make us feel better.

The best way to do this is to read funny jokes. It doesn’t matter what type of sense of humor you have, there are short funny jokes out there for everyone.

Whether it’s the middle of the day or the middle of the night, this collection of jokes is sure to make anyone laugh.

Short Funny Jokes

  • Wanna hear a construction joke?
    • Sorry, but I’m still working on delivering it with the right foundation of humor!
  • What do you call bears without ears?
    • B.
  • What is the most beautiful thing about Switzerland?
    • I don’t know, but the flag is definitely a plus. 
  • What type of exercise do lazy people do?
    • Diddly-squats.
  • The number of times you can subtract 10 from 100 is how many?
    • Once. You would then subtract 10 from 90 when you do it again.
  • You can’t explain puns to kleptomaniacs, why?
    • They always take things literally.
  • Are you aware of the mathematician who hates negative numbers?
    • He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. 
  • Is there a reason why the number 288 should never be mentioned?
    • It’s two gross.
  • The sheep has his hair cut at where?
    • The baa baa shop!
  • What makes fat penguin males so appealing to penguin females?
    • They certainly know how to break the ice.
  • Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
    • Because every play must have a cast. 
  • How do you keep a bagel from escaping?
    • Put lox on it.
  • Have you heard about the new restaurant Karma?
    • Nothing on the menu: Everyone gets what they deserve. 
  • Politicians and diapers have what in common?
    • They should both be changed regularly for the same reason.
  • Would you like to know what I saw today?
    • Everything I looked at.
  • Have you heard about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
    • He was just going through a stage.
  • What did the left eye tell the right eye?
    • Between you and me, something smells.
  • Have you ever eaten a clock?
    • It takes a lot of time, especially if you go for seconds.
  • What creeps along the ocean bottom and twitches?
    • A nervous wreck.
  • Have you heard about the claustrophobic astronaut?
    • He just needed some space.

Funny Short One-Liners and Stories

  • I used to play piano by ear,
    • but then I realized my fingers had better rhythm!
  • My dog was such a daredevil on his bike,
    • I had to enroll him in a canine spin class to burn off that energy.
  • The first time I got a universal remote control,
    • I thought, “This is my ticket to becoming a couch potato superhero!”
  • Russia dolls bother me…
    • they’re so full of themselves!
  • Two artists held an art contest,
    • which ended in a draw!
  • The plateau is the highest form of flattery.
  • Unfortunately, I have not been sleeping well recently.
    • That’s my last talent.
  • Despite my fear of speed bumps,
    • I am slowly overcoming it.
  • It is only possible to get spoiled milk from a pampered cow.
  • Since today is cleaning day,
    • I have already consumed an entire chocolate bar.
  • This autocorrect inventor is a dumb mass hole.
    • He can easily fake right off.
  • My present to you is a calendar.
    • All of your days are now numbered.
  • Need some cheering up?
    • Fight with someone when they are hiccoughing!
  • I never make mistakes.
    • I thought I did once, but I was mistaken.
  • “Siri, why am I still single?”
    • ***Siri activates the front camera.***
  • I threw a boomerang hard years ago; it scared me to death.
    • I’ve lived in fear ever since.
  • 99.8% of people have difficulty with math.
    • I’m glad I’m in the remaining 1%.
  • During a consultation at his doctor’s office, a man complained, “Doc, I’m addicted to Twitter.”
    • The doctor replied, “I don’t follow you …”
  • Grandson: Grandpa, why don’t you have any life insurance?
    • Grandpa: So you all will be really sad when I die.

The Ultimate Short Funny Jokes Trivia Quiz”


How did you find these jokes? I’m sure these jokes made you laugh so hard that you were in tears! 

They are short and sweet, perfect for when you need a quick pick-me-up in the middle of your day. So if life has been getting too serious lately, it’s time to lighten things up with some humor. You can use these jokes to change your mood instantly!

We will share more amusing jokes with you that will be sure to make you laugh.

If you want more puns, visit our entire collection of Funny Jokes Today.

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