Having a good sense of humor is important to most people and many of us like to use humor to make ourselves feel better. Manager and management jokes are a great way to put our frustrations at work into perspective.
We all need a little laugh in our day. Here are some of the best manager and management jokes.
Funny Management Jokes and Puns
- What do you call an engineer who doesn’t meet expectations?
- A product manager, of course.
- Can you tell me what happened to the product manager who was only able to write three lines of code?
- He got promoted.
- Is there a better way to pay a product manager?
- American Express. They love taking credit for things.
- What was the reason for the doughnut maker’s retirement?
- He was tired of the hole business!
- Can crusher quit his job for what reason?
- Because it was soda pressing!
- Why did the frog complain to the restaurant manager?
- There wasn’t a fly in his soup
- To change a light bulb, how many executives are needed?
- A roomful – they have to meet to discuss the implications of the change.
- To change a light bulb, how many managers are needed?
- “We haven’t got a policy on that”.
- What makes vampires such bad product managers?
- Because they refuse to meet with stake holders
- Which letter is a Pirate’s favorite?
- The one from the General Manager telling him he’s been traded to the Mets.
- What is the most challenging part of being a product manager?
- Explaining what you do to your parents and friends.
- What do you do to keep managers busy for hours on end?
- Write “please turn over” on both sides of a paper.
- Why don’t managers get coffee breaks?
- It takes too long to retrain them.
Hilarious Management One Liners and Stories
- At a job interview, the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.”
- As I walked out of the building, I put it under my arm.
- Later he called my cell phone and said, “Bring it back here right now!”
- I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”
- An effective project manager keeps his or her team updated.
- A bad project manager makes up dates.
- Management is based on two essential rules.
- First, the customer is always right.
- Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
- Early in the morning, I arrived at the restaurant.
- Could you please wait a bit, the manager asked?
- I said no.
- Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
- Don’t let time pass you by without taking action.
- People will think you’re the boss.
- After telling a joke, the manager looks around and sees everyone laughing.
- However, one guy sits in the corner without even a smile.
- ‘Didn’t you get it?’
- ‘Yes, but I resigned yesterday.’
- We need somebody for this role who is responsible.
- ‘Not a problem, sir. As soon as something went wrong at my old job, my manager always told me: ‘
- A man asks his boss, “Can we talk? I have a problem.”
- “Problem? No, we call it an opportunity!” says the boss.
- Man says “Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
- It’s a classic joke in project management.
- A nine-month pregnancy is possible for women.
- A project manager thinks that 9 women can give birth in 1 month.
- As a product manager enters the bar, he looks around.
- It isn’t what he expected so they immediately blames the product development team for no reason.
- The Dilbert Principle:
- Ineffective workers are systematically moved to management, where they can do the least damage.
- Dumb boss from The Dilbert Principle:
- An employee suggests setting priorities so the company knows how to allocate its limited resources.
- The manager’s response: “Can’t we concentrate our resources across the board? ”
- A product manager tries to walk into a bar but can’t because the door isn’t scheduled until next release.
- Product Manager: “Why are you having so many problems?
- Me: Welcome to software development.
- Basketball is the game of choice for unemployed individuals or maintenance workers.
- Football is the game of choice for frontline workers.
- Tennis is the game of choice for middle management.
- The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
- Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
- Best excuses if you get caught sleeping in your cubicle:
- “That’s okay…I’m still billing the client.”
- “I was told at the blood bank that this might happen.”
- “I’m taking a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.”
- “I was working smarter, not harder.”
- Guy: What did the HR assistant tell the employee?
- Celine: I don’t know.
- Guy: Whoa! How did you know that?
- Management, Accounts, and HR team meet.
- CEO: Please hire the best of the best. The crème de la crème.
- HR team: (nods collectively)
- CEO: Offer the best salaries and poach the best employees. I want performance.
- HR team: (nods collectively)
- CEO: We need to cut our budget by 70%.
- HR team: (looks at Accounts)
- Accountant: (smiles sheepishly)
- Bella: Wouldn’t it be great if you had superpowers?
- Sheila: I do.
- Bella: Huh?
- Sheila: I’m an HR manager.
- The management by objectives is no better than the management by objectives.
- Workplace Strategies for bosses:
- When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.
- A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing.
- A rabbit thought the same and sat on the ground, but he was eaten by a fox.
- Moral of the story: To sit and do nothing, you need to be on top.
You can also find more fun with ironic jokes, photography jokes, uber humor and parrot jokes.
Are you managing a team? Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to be an effective manager.