Hilarious Manager and Management Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Having a good sense of humor is important to most people and many of us like to use humor to make ourselves feel better. Manager and management jokes are a great way to put our frustrations at work into perspective.

We all need a little laugh in our day. Here are some of the best manager and management jokes.

Funny Management Jokes and Puns

• What do you call an engineer who doesn’t meet expectations?
  • A product manager, of course.

• Can you tell me what happened to the product manager who was only able to write three lines of code?
  • He got promoted.

• Is there a better way to pay a product manager?
  • American Express. They love taking credit for things.

• What was the reason for the doughnut maker’s retirement?
  • He was tired of the hole business!

• Can crusher quit his job for what reason?
  • Because it was soda pressing!

• Why did the frog complain to the restaurant manager?
  • There wasn’t a fly in his soup

• To change a light bulb, how many executives are needed?
  • A roomful – they have to meet to discuss the implications of the change.

• To change a light bulb, how many managers are needed?
  • “We haven’t got a policy on that”.

• What makes vampires such bad product managers?
  • Because they refuse to meet with stake holders

• Which letter is a Pirate’s favorite?
  • The one from the General Manager telling him he’s been traded to the Mets.

• What is the most challenging part of being a product manager?
  • Explaining what you do to your parents and friends.

• What do you do to keep managers busy for hours on end?
  • Write “please turn over” on both sides of a paper. 

• Why don’t managers get coffee breaks?
  • It takes too long to retrain them. 

Hilarious Management One Liners and Stories

• At a job interview, the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.”
  • As I walked out of the building, I put it under my arm.
  • Later he called my cell phone and said, “Bring it back here right now!”
  • I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”

• An effective project manager keeps his or her team updated.
  • A bad project manager makes up dates.

• Management is based on two essential rules.
  • First, the customer is always right.
  • Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.

• Early in the morning, I arrived at the restaurant.
  • Could you please wait a bit, the manager asked?
  • I said no.
  • Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.

• Don’t let time pass you by without taking action.
  • People will think you’re the boss.

• After telling a joke, the manager looks around and sees everyone laughing.
  • However, one guy sits in the corner without even a smile.
  • ‘Didn’t you get it?’ 
  • ‘Yes, but I resigned yesterday.’

• We need somebody for this role who is responsible.
  • ‘Not a problem, sir. As soon as something went wrong at my old job, my manager always told me: ‘

• A man asks his boss, “Can we talk? I have a problem.”
  • “Problem? No, we call it an opportunity!” says the boss.
  • Man says “Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.”

• It’s a classic joke in project management.
  • A nine-month pregnancy is possible for women.
  • A project manager thinks that 9 women can give birth in 1 month.

• As a product manager enters the bar, he looks around.
  • It isn’t what he expected so they immediately blames the product development team for no reason.

• The Dilbert Principle:
  • Ineffective workers are systematically moved to management, where they can do the least damage.

• Dumb boss from The Dilbert Principle:
  • An employee suggests setting priorities so the company knows how to allocate its limited resources.
  • The manager’s response: “Can’t we concentrate our resources across the board? ”

• A product manager tries to walk into a bar but can’t because the door isn’t scheduled until next release.

• Product Manager: “Why are you having so many problems?
  • Me: Welcome to software development.

• Basketball is the game of choice for unemployed individuals or maintenance workers.
  • Football is the game of choice for frontline workers.
  • Tennis is the game of choice for middle management.
  • The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
  • Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.

• Best excuses if you get caught sleeping in your cubicle:
  • “That’s okay…I’m still billing the client.”
  • “I was told at the blood bank that this might happen.”
  • “I’m taking a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.”
  • “I was working smarter, not harder.”

• Guy: What did the HR assistant tell the employee?
  • Celine: I don’t know.
  • Guy: Whoa! How did you know that?

• Management, Accounts, and HR team meet.
  • CEO: Please hire the best of the best. The crème de la crème.
  • HR team: (nods collectively)
  • CEO: Offer the best salaries and poach the best employees. I want performance.
  • HR team: (nods collectively)
  • CEO: We need to cut our budget by 70%.
  • HR team: (looks at Accounts)
  • Accountant: (smiles sheepishly)

• Bella: Wouldn’t it be great if you had superpowers?
  • Sheila: I do.
  • Bella: Huh?
  • Sheila: I’m an HR manager.

• The management by objectives is no better than the management by objectives.

• Workplace Strategies for bosses:
  • When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.

• A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing.
  • A rabbit thought the same and sat on the ground, but he was eaten by a fox.
  • Moral of the story: To sit and do nothing, you need to be on top. 

You can also find more fun with ironic jokes, photography jokes, uber humor and parrot jokes.

Are you managing a team? Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to be an effective manager.