Hilarious Manager and Management Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Having a good sense of humor is important to most people and many of us like to use humor to make ourselves feel better. Manager and management jokes are a great way to put our frustrations at work into perspective.

We all need a little laugh in our day. Here are some of the best manager and management jokes.

Funny Management Jokes and Puns

  • What do you call an engineer who doesn’t meet expectations?
    • A product manager, of course.
  • Can you tell me what happened to the product manager who was only able to write three lines of code?
    • He got promoted.
  • Is there a better way to pay a product manager?
    • American Express. They love taking credit for things.
  • What was the reason for the doughnut maker’s retirement?
    • He was tired of the hole business!
  • Can crusher quit his job for what reason?
    • Because it was soda pressing!
  • Why did the frog complain to the restaurant manager?
    • There wasn’t a fly in his soup
  • To change a light bulb, how many executives are needed?
    • A roomful – they have to meet to discuss the implications of the change.
  • To change a light bulb, how many managers are needed?
    • “We haven’t got a policy on that”.
  • What makes vampires such bad product managers?
    • Because they refuse to meet with stake holders
  • Which letter is a Pirate’s favorite?
    • The one from the General Manager telling him he’s been traded to the Mets.
  • What is the most challenging part of being a product manager?
    • Explaining what you do to your parents and friends.
  • What do you do to keep managers busy for hours on end?
    • Write “please turn over” on both sides of a paper. 
  • Why don’t managers get coffee breaks?
    • It takes too long to retrain them. 

Hilarious Management One Liners and Stories

  • At a job interview, the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.”
    • As I walked out of the building, I put it under my arm.
    • Later he called my cell phone and said, “Bring it back here right now!”
    • I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”
  • An effective project manager keeps his or her team updated.
    • A bad project manager makes up dates.
  • Management is based on two essential rules.
    • First, the customer is always right.
    • Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
  • Early in the morning, I arrived at the restaurant.
    • Could you please wait a bit, the manager asked?
    • I said no.
    • Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
  • Don’t let time pass you by without taking action.
    • People will think you’re the boss.
  • After telling a joke, the manager looks around and sees everyone laughing.
    • However, one guy sits in the corner without even a smile.
    • ‘Didn’t you get it?’ 
    • ‘Yes, but I resigned yesterday.’
  • We need somebody for this role who is responsible.
    • ‘Not a problem, sir. As soon as something went wrong at my old job, my manager always told me: ‘
  • A man asks his boss, “Can we talk? I have a problem.”
    • “Problem? No, we call it an opportunity!” says the boss.
    • Man says “Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
  • It’s a classic joke in project management.
    • A nine-month pregnancy is possible for women.
    • A project manager thinks that 9 women can give birth in 1 month.
  • As a product manager enters the bar, he looks around.
    • It isn’t what he expected so they immediately blames the product development team for no reason.
  • The Dilbert Principle:
    • Ineffective workers are systematically moved to management, where they can do the least damage.
  • Dumb boss from The Dilbert Principle:
    • An employee suggests setting priorities so the company knows how to allocate its limited resources.
    • The manager’s response: “Can’t we concentrate our resources across the board? ”
  • A product manager tries to walk into a bar but can’t because the door isn’t scheduled until next release.
  • Product Manager: “Why are you having so many problems?
    • Me: Welcome to software development.
  • Basketball is the game of choice for unemployed individuals or maintenance workers.
    • Football is the game of choice for frontline workers.
    • Tennis is the game of choice for middle management.
    • The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
    • Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
  • Best excuses if you get caught sleeping in your cubicle:
    • “That’s okay…I’m still billing the client.”
    • “I was told at the blood bank that this might happen.”
    • “I’m taking a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.”
    • “I was working smarter, not harder.”
  • Guy: What did the HR assistant tell the employee?
    • Celine: I don’t know.
    • Guy: Whoa! How did you know that?
  • Management, Accounts, and HR team meet.
    • CEO: Please hire the best of the best. The crème de la crème.
    • HR team: (nods collectively)
    • CEO: Offer the best salaries and poach the best employees. I want performance.
    • HR team: (nods collectively)
    • CEO: We need to cut our budget by 70%.
    • HR team: (looks at Accounts)
    • Accountant: (smiles sheepishly)
  • Bella: Wouldn’t it be great if you had superpowers?
    • Sheila: I do.
    • Bella: Huh?
    • Sheila: I’m an HR manager.
  • The management by objectives is no better than the management by objectives.
  • Workplace Strategies for bosses:
    • When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.
  • A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing.
    • A rabbit thought the same and sat on the ground, but he was eaten by a fox.
    • Moral of the story: To sit and do nothing, you need to be on top. 

You can also find more fun with ironic jokes, photography jokes, uber humor and parrot jokes.

Are you managing a team? Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to be an effective manager.

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Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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