Having a good sense of humor is important to most people and many of us like to use humor to make ourselves feel better. Manager and management jokes are a great way to put our frustrations at work into perspective.
We all need a little laugh in our day. Here are some of the best manager and management jokes.
Funny Management Jokes and Puns
- What kind of music does a manager like?
- “Supervisory” notes!
- The manager hired an astronaut for what reason?
- Because they wanted someone who could “space out” in meetings!
- Under pressure, how do managers keep their cool?
- They use “Ctrl+Alt+Delete” in real life!
- What was the purpose of the manager bringing a stopwatch to the meeting?
- To keep track of “wasted” time!
- What motivated the manager to become a gardener?
- Because they wanted to “cultivate” leadership skills!
- What can you do to make a manager’s day?
- Tell them you completed a project “ahead of schedule”!
- What do you call an engineer who doesn’t meet expectations?
- A product manager, of course.
- Can you tell me what happened to the product manager who was only able to write three lines of code?
- He got promoted.
- Is there a better way to pay a product manager?
- American Express. They love taking credit for things.
- What was the reason for the doughnut maker’s retirement?
- He was tired of the hole business!
- Can crusher quit his job for what reason?
- Because it was soda pressing!
- Why did the frog complain to the restaurant manager?
- There wasn’t a fly in his soup
- To change a light bulb, how many executives are needed?
- A roomful – they have to meet to discuss the implications of the change.
- To change a light bulb, how many managers are needed?
- “We haven’t got a policy on that”.
- What makes vampires such bad product managers?
- Because they refuse to meet with stake holders
- Which letter is a Pirate’s favorite?
- The one from the General Manager telling him he’s been traded to the Mets.
- What is the most challenging part of being a product manager?
- Explaining what you do to your parents and friends.
- What do you do to keep managers busy for hours on end?
- Write “please turn over” on both sides of a paper.
- Why don’t managers get coffee breaks?
- It takes too long to retrain them.
Hilarious Management One Liners and Stories
- At a job interview, the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.”
- As I walked out of the building, I put it under my arm.
- Later he called my cell phone and said, “Bring it back here right now!”
- I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”
- An effective project manager keeps his or her team updated.
- A bad project manager makes up dates.
- Management is based on two essential rules.
- First, the customer is always right.
- Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
- Early in the morning, I arrived at the restaurant.
- Could you please wait a bit, the manager asked?
- I said no.
- Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
- Don’t let time pass you by without taking action.
- People will think you’re the boss.
- After telling a joke, the manager looks around and sees everyone laughing.
- However, one guy sits in the corner without even a smile.
- ‘Didn’t you get it?’
- ‘Yes, but I resigned yesterday.’
- We need somebody for this role who is responsible.
- ‘Not a problem, sir. As soon as something went wrong at my old job, my manager always told me: ‘
- A man asks his boss, “Can we talk? I have a problem.”
- “Problem? No, we call it an opportunity!” says the boss.
- Man says “Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
- It’s a classic joke in project management.
- A nine-month pregnancy is possible for women.
- A project manager thinks that 9 women can give birth in 1 month.
- As a product manager enters the bar, he looks around.
- It isn’t what he expected so they immediately blames the product development team for no reason.
- The Dilbert Principle:
- Ineffective workers are systematically moved to management, where they can do the least damage.
- Dumb boss from The Dilbert Principle:
- An employee suggests setting priorities so the company knows how to allocate its limited resources.
- The manager’s response: “Can’t we concentrate our resources across the board? ”
- A product manager tries to walk into a bar but can’t because the door isn’t scheduled until next release.
- Product Manager: “Why are you having so many problems?
- Me: Welcome to software development.
- Basketball is the game of choice for unemployed individuals or maintenance workers.
- Football is the game of choice for frontline workers.
- Tennis is the game of choice for middle management.
- The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.
- Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
- Best excuses if you get caught sleeping in your cubicle:
- “That’s okay…I’m still billing the client.”
- “I was told at the blood bank that this might happen.”
- “I’m taking a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.”
- “I was working smarter, not harder.”
- Guy: What did the HR assistant tell the employee?
- Celine: I don’t know.
- Guy: Whoa! How did you know that?
- Management, Accounts, and HR team meet.
- CEO: Please hire the best of the best. The crème de la crème.
- HR team: (nods collectively)
- CEO: Offer the best salaries and poach the best employees. I want performance.
- HR team: (nods collectively)
- CEO: We need to cut our budget by 70%.
- HR team: (looks at Accounts)
- Accountant: (smiles sheepishly)
- Bella: Wouldn’t it be great if you had superpowers?
- Sheila: I do.
- Bella: Huh?
- Sheila: I’m an HR manager.
- The management by objectives is no better than the management by objectives.
- Workplace Strategies for bosses:
- When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.
- A crow was sitting on a tree doing nothing.
- A rabbit thought the same and sat on the ground, but he was eaten by a fox.
- Moral of the story: To sit and do nothing, you need to be on top.
The Management Mastery Quiz
Author’s Note
Manager and management jokes can provide a lighthearted way to navigate the often challenging world of work and leadership. Playfully they highlight the quirks, challenges, and idiosyncrasies of managerial roles. Laughter and humor can even be found in the most serious and responsible positions. Next time you’re in a meeting or facing a managerial decision, remember that a well-timed manager joke might just ease some stress.
You can also find more fun with ironic jokes, photography jokes, uber humor and parrot jokes. Are you managing a team? Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to be an effective manager.
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