Virginia Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Until You Roll On The Floor

In Virginia we have some great comedians, a ton of great comedy shows, comedy clubs and festivals, and we love to laugh. 

If you live in Virginia, you have probably heard some of these Virginia jokes. If you aren’t from Virginia, you may still have heard them from some of your friends. Either way, you will probably enjoy these jokes as they depict the people of this state as a little weird.

These Virginia jokes are sure to make you laugh. Here at Funny Jokes Today, we have created plenty of funny jokes for everyone to enjoy! Iowa jokes may interest you, or if you prefer something different, you can check out Finance jokes or Milkman jokes.

Funny Virginia Jokes

  • Is there a difference between Radford University sorority sisters and scarecrows?
    • One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals. 
  • What’s the only thing growing in Virginia Beach?
    • The swelling from your head from getting jacked! 
  • What’s the difference between West Virginia and Virginia?
    • In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it’s a misdemeanor. 
  • Why do Radford graduates keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
    • So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • What do people in West Virginia do for Halloween?
    • Pump Kin
  • What did Delaware wear if Virginia wore a New Jersey?
    • I don’t know, Alaska. (I’ll ask her)
  • Did you hear about the fire that destroyed 20 books in West Virginia’s football dorm?
    • The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet. 
  • What is the average SAT score for Marshall University students?
    • Drool. 
  • To change a light bulb, how many Marshall University freshmen are needed?
    • None, it’s a sophomore course. 
  • Can you tell me how to make University of West Virginia cookies?
    • Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
  • What do you get when you drive slowly past the UVA campus?
    • A degree.
  • Can you tell me what the difference between a Wahoo and a Rice Crispy is?
    • Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.
  • A student at UVA and a student at Virginia Tech share what in common?
    • They both got accepted to UVA.
  • Did you hear about the tragic horseback-riding accident that nearly killed a UVA player?
    • He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
  • Summerville Lake’s response to the short?
    • Nothing, it waved. 
  • What goes hundreds of miles without moving?
    • The West Virginia Turnpike!
  • If a plane crashed on the border between West Virginia and Virginia, where would they bury the survivors?
    • You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived!
  • In West Virginia, what do divorce and a tornado have in common?
    • Either way you lose the trailer.

Hilarious Virginia Puns and Stories

  • When we go to a family reunion:
    • No one in the South ever asks if you have crazy relatives. They simply ask which side they are on. 
  • You poke a Virginia Tech fan…
    • Do you do the Hokie Pokey?
  • A man from West Virginia and a woman from Kentucky were married…
    • After the couple’s wedding, the man’s father sees his son storm into the house with a gun in hand.
    • “What’s got you upset, son?” The father asked.
    • To which the man replied, “I shot my wife because I found out that she was a virgin. If she’s not good enough for her family, she’s not good enough for us!”
  • Putting Arlington County in Virginia and Washington, D.C. together,
    • could that area be called AC/DC?
  • Once upon a time, there was a girl named Virginia.
    • They called her Virgin for short… But not for long!!!
  • After moving from California to West Virginia, I discovered they both have squirrels.
    • Here, however, they’re in the freezer, along with some buckshot as a side dish.
  • Virginia Beach.
    • When both you and the person driving the car are drunk and the person not driving is as well, you may both be charged with DUIs.
  • Teacher: Where were you born?
    • Student: West Virginia.
    • Teacher: Which part?
    • Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My entire body is from West Virginia!
  • Oh, you wore snow boots and flip flops at the same time? 
    • You must live in Virginia. 

Crazy Virginia One-Liners

  • Virginia is the state for lovers.
    • There are those who enjoy experiencing three seasons in just three days – in the same week. 
  • In far southwest Virginia,
    • “I didn’t have cell service!” is a legitimate excuse for ignoring someone. 
  • Northern Virginia Driver:
    • Honks before the light turns green.

Quotes about Virginia

  • “I can’t think of a better place to be than Scottsville, Virginia.”
    • – Robert Hurt
  • “The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”
    • – Saint Augustine
  • I enjoyed growing up part of my life in Virginia Beach. We had the ocean and the beach and a beautiful landscape. We were outdoors all the time and we played outside.”
    • – Mark Ruffalo
  • “The only thing here was a long gray ribbon of road, stretched like tape stuck by a toddler onto a rolling carpet of green hills under a huge arch of blue sky. This is Virginia. My Virginia, anyway.”
    • – Beth Harbison

Virginia is a beautiful state with a lot to offer. From the beautiful landscapes, the beautiful skiing locations, and a lot more. Let these Virginia jokes make you roll on the floor laughing.

Check out these viral videos of people, places, and things in Virginia that put our home state in the spotlight.

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