Best Social Distancing Jokes Will Keep You on the Right Track

Social Distancing Jokes are a great way to keep your mind on the right track. We all have days when we feel like giving up and these Jokes can help you through this difficult time. 

Let’s have some fun and share these funny social distancing jokes with our family and friends.

Social Distancing Funny Remarks

  • I asked the librarian if they had books on paranoia.
    • She whispered, “They’re right behind you!” Well, that’s not unsettling at all!
  • I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth while trying to practice social distancing.
    • Now when I talk, I have this strange accent – you could say I’ve become the “Eau de Parlez”!
  • My dog and I are practicing social distancing.
    • She’s a great listener, but she’s terrible at sharing snacks – she thinks “six feet apart” means six feet between each treat!
  • My wife and I play hide and seek during social distancing.
    • She hides, and I seek solitude, which I’ve become a pro at finding behind the bathroom door!
  • The grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings.
    • One of them says to the  other, “Mine are so good at social distancing that they won’t even call me.”
  • Stress-eating at this level will cause the buttons on my shirt to socially distance themselves from one another.
  • My plan is to go into town when everything is over and greet everybody there,
    • just like Belle does in that song.
  • Due to the pandemic, I realized I spent 90% of my social time just eating with my friends.
  • I need to practice social distance from the refrigerator.
  • Let’s not tell some people when social distance is over.
  • When I was a kid, you coughed to disguise a fart.
    • With COVID-19, you can fart to cover  up a cough.
  • Stress eating at this rate will cause the buttons on my shirt to socially distance themselves from each other.
  • I can’t wait until this is all over, so I can return to Social Distancing on my own terms.
  • Distancing yourself from friends has one more benefit: fewer weird conversations with neighbors.

Social Distancing Jokes

  • Why did the tomato turn red?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing – and they were both practicing social distancing! It seems veggies need personal space too!
  • Knock knock.
    • Who is there?
    • You need to keep your distance from my door and I need you to return 6 meters.
  • How does eating raw garlic help prevent COVID-19?
    • It keeps everyone at a safe  distance.
  • The chicken crossed the road for what reason?
    • The chicken behind it didn’t  know how to socially distance properly.
  • How can you prevent yourself from touching your face?
    • A glass of wine in each hand!
  • Where do sick boats go to get well?
    • The dock!
  • Who is unable to social distance themselves?
    • My thighs.
  • The social distance is supposed to last for how long?
    • My husband keeps trying to come into the house.

The Quarantine Personality Test

Author’s Note

What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Social distance. It is a perfect way to make us laugh and have fun even in challenging circumstances. Jokes are just more entertaining when you can’t see the person telling them.

Come on, here are some more funny jokes that will make your stomach hurt from laughing again.

If you want more puns, visit our entire collection of Funny Jokes Today.

What is Social Distancing and why does it matter? Click here to learn why.

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