Funny Singapore Jokes All Tourists & Locals Will Enjoy

Singaporeans love to laugh!

Singapore may be small, but it is full of funny things to laugh at. 

They have an amazing sense of humor and many of the jokes you’ll find here will make you burst out laughing. Check out these most popular Singapore jokes that will have you laughing.

Silly Singapore Jokes

  • Singapore Airlines plans to launch flights to nowhere.
    • However, Malaysia Airlines did the same thing first.
  • There are no songs I know about rich countries.
    • I can only *Singapore* one.
  • On the sidewalk walks a random child.
    • Then he stops, and he sings, “Apore!“
    • Three years later, he becomes a star and wins an award.
    • He gives a speech.
    • He says, “Thank you everyone for your support. Especially my family. They told me we would go to Singapore, and I went. I just wonder why I’ve never seen them again.”
  • Last night, I went to the Chinese takeaway to get chicken chow mein, egg fried rice, and Singapore crispy noodles.
    • The bloke poured everything out into the carrier bag.
    • “What the hell are you doing?” I asked.
    • We cannot put Chinese in a container anymore, he said.
  • Kim Jong Un has arrived in Singapore.
    • An immigration officer began asking him questions as soon as he arrived.
    • The officer asked him “occupation?”
    • Kim replied “no, just visiting”.
  • Last winter, did you hear about the guy who quit smoking and moved from Istanbul to Singapore?
    • He quits cold turkey.
  • What is the origin of karaoke machines?
    • Singapore.
  • Are you familiar with Singapore?
    • With all that damn poverty it’s like Multipore.
  • Have you seen the finals of the international music competition?
    • Singapore lost.
  • In which country only do they write about poverty in their songs?
    • Singapore.
  • When it comes to local dishes, which one is the heaviest?
    • Wanton Mee (One Tonne Mee)
  • What is the oldest MRT station in Singapore?
    • Pioneer.
  • After Malaysia auditioned for the talent show, what did the Italians say to them?
    • You Singapore.
  • What is the most inaccessible place in Singapore?
    • Kent Ridge.
  • Do you know what to call a samosa that went to Universal Studios Singapore?
    • Sentosa.
  • Why is education so important in Singapore?
    • It’s your get out of jail free card.
  • In what way did Ah Beng force 18 of his friends to watch a movie with him?
    • According to M18 rules, anyone under the age of 18 is not allowed to enter.
  • What caused the palm tree to be struck by lightning?
    • Because it suay.
  • Ah Beng went to the doctor with a complaint.
    • Ah Beng: Loctor, Loctor, in my dreams I play football every night. I’m tired.
    • Doctor: Take this before you go to sleep. Then will be ok liao.
    • Ah Beng: Liddat ah? Can I take it tomorrow night? Tonight is finals leh.
  • Ah Beng found a note saying “Parking Fine” on his windscreen when he came back to his car.
    • Before driving away, he stuck a note on a pole: “Thanks for the compliment.”
    • Three Russians, two Ethiopians and one Singaporean were being surveyed by the World Bank.
    • The question was “What is your opinion on how much money you spend on food?”
    • The Ethiopian asked, “What is food?”
    • The Russian asked, “What is money?”
    • The Singaporean asked, “What is an opinion?”
  • I feel sick.
    • I was traveling from Mumbai to Singapore once.
    • The woman next to me kept looking at me.
    • I realized that this lady had never seen a Sikh before.
    • Midway in the flight when the tea and snacks were served, I struck a conversation with the lady.
    • Her name was Margarita and she was from Spain.
    • She asked, “what are you?”
    • I replied, “I am Sikh.”
    • “I am sorry,” said the young lady, “hope you get well soon.”
    • I replied, “no dear, I am not sick as that of the body, I am Sikh as of religion.”
    • She shook hands with me and said, “Nice to meet you, I am also sick of religion.”

Are you aware of the fact that Singapore is home to the most ethnic groups in the world? Because of that, they make hilarious jokes about race in Singapore. We hope they make you laugh! 

Where will your next stop be? Have a look at these funny jokes from different countries.

Take a look at the 40 best Singapore films of all time. It’s better late than never to watch these local films from the 1950s to today.

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