Librarian Humor & Jokes to Make You Laugh Loudly. Shhh!

Librarians are not just facts finders; they are also great comedians.

Librarians are not just the guardians of books, but also the guardians of jokes and laughter.

Everybody needs a good laugh and a good joke, and having a good sense of humor is a great quality. Here are some librarian humor & jokes you’ve probably never heard before. It’s impossible not to laugh at these jokes.

Hilarious Librarian Humor 

  • When librarians go fishing, what do they bring?
    • Bookworms!
  • What is the best way for librarians to flirt?
    • They ask for your call number.
  • When a person checked out 100 books, what did the librarian tell them?
    • Don’t overdue it.
  • Which book did the librarian take out for her cat?
    • The Prince and the Paw-purr.
  • Why are librarians unable to finish mystery books?
    • They keep reading between the lines.
  • What did the librarian tell Chris Tucker?
    • Sit down and zip it! This is Hush Hour.
  • What made the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award?
    • She had a storied career.
  • When a South American librarian is always in a hurry, what do you call him?
    • Urgent Tina.
  • What did the librarian tell John Cusack?
    • Shhhhh! Don’t Say Anything.
  • What did the surfer tell the librarian?
    • Is my book over dude?
  • Did the Librarian say anything to the rapper?
    • “I like big books and I can not lie.”
  • What vegetables do librarians like to eat?
    • Quiet Peas!
  • Who was the toughest member of the book club?
    • Conan, the Librarian
  • When the buccaneers were too loud, what did the pirate librarian say?
    • SHH-iver me timbers!
  • For a quick book review, what does a librarian need?
    • A second glance.

Librarian One-Liners, Signs & Stories

  • Librarians love a good joke—they always get the reference.
  • A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone. 
  • Librarian:
    • The original search engine. 
  • Someone asked a librarian, “Do you work here?”
    • Librarian: No, I enjoy putting books away in my free time.
  • Dinosaurs didn’t read.
    • Now they are extinct.
    • Thank goodness the Thesaurus survived!
  • Cold?
    • Check out a book!
    • Despite being cold, you’ll have a book in your hands. 
  • Library Sign:
    • Alternative facts can be found in our fiction section. 
  • Library Sign:
    • Come on In! We are never overbooked. 
  • Library Sign:
    • Please note: The post-apocalyptic fiction section has been moved to Current Affairs. 
  • Don’t you ever do anything besides read?
    • Not willingly. 
  • Library:
    • Because not everything on the internet is true. 
  • Reading seriously harms idiocy. 
  •  Basically, librarians are superhumans.
    • A sign in the library saying: Our internet connection is not working, but our librarians are.
    • It’s like Google with a face! 
  • We’re glad you got your Taylor Swift tickets, but where’s this energy when we’re trying to sign up people for library cards? 
  • Sure, maybe you don’t need books, but what if– and hear me out, the books need you? 
  • Reading won’t solve your problems, but then again, neither will housework.
    • Keep reading!
  • Lawyers are just Attack Librarians. 
  • Life is what we call that period of time that interrupts our reading.
  • Today, staying up all night and finishing my books was more important than being mentally present. 
  • Let’s play librarian:
    • I’ll read and in 6 hours you’ll tell me the library is closing.  

Are you a reader who enjoys reading for fun? Take a look at these interesting jokes below. With fun and learning, you’ll love studying more. 

You won’t want to miss these funniest librarian pranks

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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