Librarian Humor & Jokes to Make You Laugh Loudly. Shhh!

Librarians are not just facts finders; they are also great comedians.

Librarians are not just the guardians of books, but also the guardians of jokes and laughter.

Everybody needs a good laugh and a good joke, and having a good sense of humor is a great quality. Here are some librarian humor & jokes you’ve probably never heard before. It’s impossible not to laugh at these jokes.

Hilarious Librarian Humor 

• When librarians go fishing, what do they bring?
  • Bookworms!
• What is the best way for librarians to flirt?
  • They ask for your call number.
• When a person checked out 100 books, what did the librarian tell them?
  • Don’t overdue it.
• Which book did the librarian take out for her cat?
  • The Prince and the Paw-purr.
• Why are librarians unable to finish mystery books?
  • They keep reading between the lines.
• What did the librarian tell Chris Tucker?
  • Sit down and zip it! This is Hush Hour.
• What made the librarian win a Lifetime Achievement Award?
  • She had a storied career.
• When a South American librarian is always in a hurry, what do you call him?
  • Urgent Tina.
• What did the librarian tell John Cusack?
  • Shhhhh! Don’t Say Anything.
• What did the surfer tell the librarian?
  • Is my book over dude?
• Did the Librarian say anything to the rapper?
  • “I like big books and I can not lie.”
• What vegetables do librarians like to eat?
  • Quiet Peas!
• Who was the toughest member of the book club?
  • Conan, the Librarian
• When the buccaneers were too loud, what did the pirate librarian say?
  • SHH-iver me timbers!
• For a quick book review, what does a librarian need?
  • A second glance.

Librarian One-Liners, Signs & Stories

• Librarians love a good joke—they always get the reference.
• A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone. 
• Librarian:
  • The original search engine. 
• Someone asked a librarian, “Do you work here?”
  • Librarian: No, I enjoy putting books away in my free time.
• Dinosaurs didn’t read.
  • Now they are extinct.
  • Thank goodness the Thesaurus survived!
• Cold?
  • Check out a book!
  • Despite being cold, you’ll have a book in your hands. 
• Library Sign:
  • Alternative facts can be found in our fiction section. 
• Library Sign:
  • Come on In! We are never overbooked. 
• Library Sign:
  • Please note: The post-apocalyptic fiction section has been moved to Current Affairs. 
• Don’t you ever do anything besides read?
  • Not willingly. 
• Library:
  • Because not everything on the internet is true. 
• Reading seriously harms idiocy. 
•  Basically, librarians are superhumans.
  • A sign in the library saying: Our internet connection is not working, but our librarians are.
  • It’s like Google with a face! 
• We’re glad you got your Taylor Swift tickets, but where’s this energy when we’re trying to sign up people for library cards? 
• Sure, maybe you don’t need books, but what if– and hear me out, the books need you? 
• Reading won’t solve your problems, but then again, neither will housework.
  • Keep reading!
• Lawyers are just Attack Librarians. 
• Life is what we call that period of time that interrupts our reading.
• Today, staying up all night and finishing my books was more important than being mentally present. 
• Let’s play librarian:
  • I’ll read and in 6 hours you’ll tell me the library is closing.  

Are you a reader who enjoys reading for fun? Take a look at these interesting jokes below. With fun and learning, you’ll love studying more. 

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• Intellectual Jokes That Will Make You Sound Smart & Funny

You won’t want to miss these funniest librarian pranks.