World’s Greatest Dad Jokes That Are Guaranteed to Make Everyone Laugh Out Loud

Dad has long been known in the family as the best family ribbing. Even though their jokes are rarely funny, it is impossible not to laugh at the way they say them.

As dads, we enjoy sharing corny or cheesy jokes with our kids, and it gives us great pleasure and satisfaction when they laugh or even roll their eyes at one of our cracks.

Let’s sit back, but not too far, and laugh along with these dad jokes.

Hilarious Dad Jokes

  • In what way does a penguin build its house?
    • Igloos it together!
  • Why don’t skeletons fight one another?
    • They don’t have the guts!
  • Have you heard about the explosion at the cheese factory?
    • There was nothing left but de-brie.
  • What caused the bicycle to fall over?
    • Because it was two-tired!
  • Were you aware of the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
    • He won the prize for the “no-bell” joke.
  • Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
    • “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
  • Why did the invisible man refuse the job offer?
    • He couldn’t envision himself doing it!
  • What do you call a factory that sells passable products?
    • It was satisfactory!
  • What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
    • Anna one, Anna two!
  • Have you heard about the chameleon that could not change color?
    • He suffered from reptile dysfunction.
  • Want to know a funny story about construction?
    • I am still working on it.
  • What do hippies call their wives?
    • Mississippi.
  • Is anyone in need of an ark?
    • I Noah guy!
  • What do you call a fish that has no eye?
    • A fsh.
  • Why did the raisin go out with the prune?
    • Because he wasn’t able to find a date.
  • My son asked me, “Can I have a bookmark?”
    • I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe he is 11 years old and does not know my name is Brian.
  • What’s the best way to steal a coat?
    • You jacket.
  • Niece: All my friends are named Nathan, there’s Nathan… (droning on repeatedly).
    • Me: Do you call them The United Nathans when they are together?
  • What’s the language that’s the least spoken in the world?
    • Sign language.
  • Dad: While listening to the radio on my way in to town, I heard that an actress had just taken her life.
    • Mom: Oh my! Who is that? Dad: Uh, I don’t recall… I think her name was Reese something?
    • MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
    • DAD: No, it was with a knife…
  • Do you know how to make holy water?
    • You boil the hell out of it.
  • If someone had no body and no nose, what would you call them?
    • Nobody knows.
  • My wife tried to unlatch our daughter’s car seat with one hand and said, “How do one-armed mothers do it?”
    • I replied without wasting a beat, “Single handedly.”
  • As a dad drives past a graveyard he asks his daughter: “Did you know that is a popular cemetery?”
    • the daughter said, “Yeah, people are just dying to get in there!”
  • What kind of drink is able to be bitter and sweet at the same time?
    • Reali-tea.
  • How do you call an angry musician who flips someone off?
    • A song bird.
  • Chiropractors like what kind of music?
    • Hip pop.
  • What kind of shoes do lazy people wear?
    • Loafers.
  • What do houses wear?
    • Address.

Best One-Liner Dad Jokes

  • I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high.
    • She looked surprised.
  • Parallel lines share a lot in common.
    • It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  • At first, I hated facial hair…
    • but then it grew on me.
  • My wife wanted me to buy six cans of Sprite at the grocery store.
    • When I returned home, I realized that I had picked 7 up.
  • I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner.
    • It was just collecting dust!
  • I will locate whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office.
    • You have my word!
  • I tell dad jokes, but I have no children.
    • I’m a faux pa.
  • I once lost my job at a canned juice company.
    • They said I couldn’t concentrate.
  • The police used an unmarked bottle of water to arrest it because it was wanted in three different states:
    • solid, liquid, and gas.
  • I was hit with a can of Diet Coke today.
    • Don’t worry, I’m not hurt. It was a soft drink.
  • My friend wants to be an archaeologist, but I am trying to keep him from becoming one.
    • I am convinced his life will be in ruins.
  • When searching on Amazon for a lighter,
    • all I found were 401 matches.
  • My wife is annoyed at my lack of direction.
    • So I gathered my stuff and right.
  • Although dogs cannot use MRI scanners, catscan.
  • I registered for a marathon,
    • but I don’t know if it’s the real deal or just a run through.

The Great Dad Trivia Challenge

Author’s Note

Dad jokes aren’t just for dads. A corny joke is the easiest way to diffuse tension, and they make great icebreakers for guests of all ages. The punchlines in this collection are guaranteed to make people laugh, as well as lighten up an entire group. Don’t forget to share it to your dad, wife, or kids what you like best. 

Did these funny dad jokes make you smile? I am sure they did, right? Are we all correct in assuming you are searching for more jokes that surely will make you laugh even more? It’s time to get going! Check these out!

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