Humankind loves animals. I think every household has their pets at home. Animals are species created to give happiness to human beings.
Some animals simply give laughter to everyone just by being cute while walking, others are hilarious while jumping.
These kinds of stuff are very common but for most of us, it is funny and a stress reliever.
So, we gathered some funny animal jokes and riddles for everyone to enjoy. Laugh away all the stress and problems while enjoying our list of animal jokes and riddles!
Jokes About Dogs
Dogs are man’s best friend. They love being cuddled and in return, it will show loyalty to their owners.
This list of jokes will make you bark for and wiggle for more.
- If you cross a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle, and a Rooster, what will you get? A cockapoodledoo!
- What kind of dog enjoys taking a bath? A shampoodle!
- “I am looking for the man who shot my paw,” a three-legged dog says as it walks into a bar.
- Do you know what dog magicians are known as? A Labracadabrador!
- Policeman: “My apologies Mr, but were you aware that your dog chased a guy on his bike?” Dog Owner: “Are you nuts? My dog cannot even ride a bike.” A friend of mine has a dog that likes to eat garlic. He barks worse than he bites.
- What do you get when you cross a… Pekingese and a Lhasa Apso [A]: Peekasso Collie and a Malamute. [A]: Commute Bull Terrier and a ShihTzu [A]: Bull(poop?)
- We are considering removing the tail of our dog. My mother-in-law is coming next weekend, and I want to get rid of anything that might make her feel welcome.
- Were you aware of the dog that would eat only garlic? His bark was much worse than his bite.
Jokes About Cats
While everybody loves dogs, cats are also being loved by humankind, especially for children.
Cats are very sweet, very friendly and will really show gentleness.
They climb everywhere and will appear out of nowhere. But this unique personality of cats will always melt everyone’s hearts.
Now, we have here some purr-fect collection of jokes for cats that you will definitely laugh so hard.
- Cats love magazines, but what is their favorite? Good Mousekeeping!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kitten. Kitten, who? Quit kitten around and open the door!
- The servant in a house cried badly when he noticed a cat had died. Master: Why are you crying so much over a cat? Servant: Master, I used to drink the milk when the cat was there, and blame it. Whom will I blame now?
- When a cat wins a dog show, it’s called what? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
- A woman invited her neighbor over for dinner where her four cats were introduced. “That’s Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, and Astrophe,” she announced. The neighbor was shocked and asked, “Where did you get those names?” “Oh, those are their last names,” the woman said. “Their first names are Cat.”
- Cats to-do list: Eat, Sleep and Freak out in the middle of the night.
- To get rid of his cat, a man drives deep into the forest. He lets her out in a place that is abandoned. After one hour, he gets a call from his wife: “I guess the cat’s back.” The man growls: “Ok, put her on, I got lost and need directions.”
- On the fence are two female cats who pass the time of day when a really handsome tomcat comes by and winks at them. ‘Oh darling, did you see that one?’ one of the felines opines. ‘I wouldn’t mind sharing a dead mouse with him.’ ‘Oh, forget about him,’ her friend tells her. ‘I went out with him once, and all he did was talk about his operation.’
- TFour cats were in a boat, one jumped out. How many remained? None. They were all copycats!
Take a look at our article on jokes about cats for more jokes like this.
Jokes About Sea Animals
Who loves going to the beach?
Sea animals are the ones inhabiting the sea which includes the fishes, whales, dolphins and other sea creatures.
Check out this sea of jokes for teens, kids and even adults that bring out the best laugh in you.
- Why did the shark spit the clown out? Because he had a funny taste!
- NICHOLAS: Why was the fish blushing? TOMMY: I haven’t a clue. NICHOLAS: Because she saw the ocean’s bottom!
- What is the reason for fish to live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Bless you!
- The elephant witnessed a snapping turtle asleep on a log as he drank from a river. Turtles walk right up to an elephant who boots them over the river to the right side. “Why did you do that?” asked a nearby beaver. “I was fifty years old when this little thing took a bite out of me.” says the elephant. “Wowsers, that is some memory!” says the beaver. “Indeed” says the elephant, “turtle recall”.
- An old man owned a dolphin… A few kids went to the old man and asked, “Why do you own a dolphin?” An old man smiled, “When I was younger, my dreams were crushed, so I bought a dolphin.” He smiled. “Buying him gave me a porpoise in life.”
- Many people believe an octopus has eight legs, but actually, he has only six legs and two arms. How would you identify the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms.
- What did the momma shark tell the little shark? Watch that sharkasm, young man.
- God gave Adam the task of naming the animals, so he began to invent exotic names, “Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig…” Then God said, “You must also name the sea animals.” AIt was exhausting, but Adam knew how important this was, so he continued… “Sea lions, Tiger sharks, Sea horses, Sea cows, Sea pigs…”
- One Friday night, a local bartender was working late when a patron came running through the door.“HELP! I would like to know how tall a penguin is!” The bartender puts out his hand and says “probably this tall” The patron looks terribly concerned and he says “Oh no! I think I just ran over a nun!”
- A female crab watches a male crab walking in a straight line. Amazed by the crab’s rare gait, she falls in love. When she asks him to marry her, he happily accepts. The next day, she notices that he is walking normally in a zigzag pattern. She is shocked. She asks him why he is walking in this manner now. He replies, “Babe, I can’t be that drunk always, can I?”
- In hospitals, where should Spongebob fans go? The Squid-ward!
- A man ordered lobster for dinner, and when the waiter brought it to him, he complained that it had only one claw. The waiter responded, “That lobster was in a fight.” “Okay, bring me the winner,” said the man.”
Joke About Farm Animals
Farm animals are animals that are kept for agricultural purposes such as carabao, cow, chickens and many more.
These animals are very beneficial in the agricultural industry, they help their owners in the cultivation of their lands.
As big as they are, these list of jokes will give you a big and a me-MOO-rable laughter.
- If a cow gets caught in an earthquake, what do you get? YOU GET A MILKSHAKE!
- Where do sheep go on vacation? To the baaaaaahamas.
- How did the farmer refer to the cow that had no milk? An udder failure.
- What was the first animal to live in space? That cow who jumped over the moon!
- A cow spying on another cow is called what? A steak out.
- When a chicken crosses a road and rolls in the dirt, crosses it again and rolls in the dirt again, what do you call it? A dirty double-crossing chicken.
- I bet on a horse with excellent breeding. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed the gate behind him.
- What do you call a goat that paints pictures? Vincent Van Goat.
- A city child entered the farmhouse. “No wonder it’s so painful to touch that mama pig,” she yelled. “It’s because all those little piglets are blowing her up.”
- A duck does a crime… This duck was found guilty of carrying illegal drugs, such as cocaine, without knowing where they were purchased from the law enforcers testified, “hey, if you confess we can make sure you get off scot-free if you help us find out where they bought them from you”. Duck: “No of course not because if I go to prison when I get out I plan to buy more.” The Officer responds: “We can put you in prison for a much longer period of time.” Duck eventually cracked and confessed to the police who he had bought it from Duck: “Well, I bought it from a goose.” Officer: “I knew you would quack from the pressure.”
- What caused the turkey to cross the road twice? To prove to everyone he wasn’t chicken.
- What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake!
- A turkey farmer was experimenting with ways to produce better turkeys. Following many frustrating attempts, the farmer told his friends, “I finally did it! I made a turkey with six legs!” They all asked the farmer how it tasted. “I don’t know” said the farmer. “I never could catch the darn thing!”
- A shepherd owned a remarkable dog that was adept at herding sheep and spoke. A shepherd asked his dog at the end of the day to confirm how many sheep were inside. “40,” the dog barked. “40? I counted 37.” “Yes,” replied the dog, “I rounded them up.”
- An American Indian hunter and a buffalo hunter… When they were hunting the guide paused, put his ear to the ground, and listened, then said “Buffalo come.” The hunter asked “How can you tell?” The guide replied “Ear sticky.”
Did you enjoy these jokes about farm animals and looking for more? Don’t worry. We got you! Head over to our Chicken Jokes for more jokes that make you cluck with laughter. You’ll enjoy this too!
Jokes About Zoo Animals
Have you ever visited the zoo? Zoo is the shelter for some wild animals where they are being taken care of.
Children love going to the zoo to see some terrific and friendly animals.
Some people are afraid of wild animals but in this chapter, we are going to make a list of jokes for zoo animals where you will find to be ape-solutely hilarious.
- What’s the name of the restaurant where the food is thrown in your face? A Monkey Business.
- Two elephants – Harry & Faye. Couldn’t kiss with their trunks in the way. So they boarded a plane. They’re now kissing in Maine. Cause their trunks got sent to L.A.
- Father: Hey, why are there lions and witches in your wardrobe? Son: It’s Narnia business!
- The big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose? Because one of his opponents kept on a lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was a cheetah.
- Knock knock. Who’s there. Giraffe. Giraffe who? Giraffe anything to eat? I’m starving!
- “Oh, no!” the kangaroo groaned to her friend, the rabbit. “The weather forecast calls for rain.” “What’s the problem with that?” asked the rabbit. “We could use some rain.” “Sure,” the kangaroo said. “However, that also means my children will remain inside the whole day!
- What is black, white, and red all over? A panda bear with a sunburn!
- When watching movies, what do pandas get most excited about? They love to watch old movies because they’re in black and white!
- I was playing 8-ball pool with an owl the other day. He made a foul as his wing brushed up against a ball while taking his shot. I said, “That’s two hits.” He replied, “Two hits to who?”
- What makes alligators green and long? If they were red and small, they would be tomatoes.
- If you cross a python with a porcupine, what will you get? Ten feet of barbed wire.
Funny Riddles About Animals
Having fun with jokes? Why don’t we level up the fun! RIDDLES!
Riddles are a puzzling question or puzzle that is meant to be guessed or answered.
It may be confusing but the mind will surely work on this. Think critically while enjoying as you browse our list of funny animal riddles for you!
Go and share this with your friend and see how they answer these mind-blowing riddles.
- The dog, Buddy, was wearing a 2 foot leash. He saw a squirrel and wanted nothing more than to chase after it. Weirdly, Buddy was finally able to catch it. How did he do this? Because the leash is not tied on to anything else.
- I has no sword, no spear, yet rules a horde that many fear, my soldiers fight with wicked sting, I rule with might, yet am not a king. What am I? A queen bee!
- What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three skunks fighting for a pickle!
- How come frogs are always happy? They eat anything that bugs them.
- His eyes were raging, that scraggly beast. His lips were bursting, with rows of furious teeth. Upon his back, a razor was discovered. It was a horrific battle we fought, my life – or his, one would be bought. And when we were through, and death chilled the air, we cut out his heart, and ate it with flair. Boar
- Living as you, but without breath; Cold in my life and in my death, Never thirsting, though I always drink, Dressed in a mail, but never a clink. Fish
- One of these is Cupid, but it doesn’t have a bow. Instead, it pulls a sleigh through the air and lands onto snow. Reindeer
- My start is toast while my ending is how birds fly. My baby eats leaves but I drink flowers. Butterfly
- A thing as big as an elephant, but it weighs nothing at all? The shadow of an elephant.
- Why do Sharks only swim salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
- I have wings but I’m not a bird. I am small and colorful. I live in gardens and fields and forests. I used to be a caterpillar. I am a. Butterfly
Now that you were able to read out funny jokes and riddles for animals, we hope that you already have taken down all your favorite jokes and riddles.
We are pretty sure that you will have a wonderful time with your family, friends, and even your partners if you will share these jokes.
Can’t get enough of these funny animal jokes? Head over to Pinterest to see baby animals that definitely you’ll love to put in your pocket. These cute animals will definitely make your heart go ‘awwww’.