Hilarious Animal Jokes

by Megha Sharma  |  19 Jan 2021

Humankind loves animals. I think every household has their pets at home. Animals are species created to give happiness to human beings.

Some animals simply give laughter to everyone just by being cute while walking, others are hilarious while jumping. 

These kinds of stuff are very common but for most of us, it is funny and a stress reliever. 

So, we gathered some funny animal jokes and riddles for everyone to enjoy. Laugh away all the stress and problems while enjoying our list of animal jokes and riddles!

Jokes about Dogs

Dogs are man’s best friend. They love being cuddled and in return, it will show loyalty to their owners. This list of jokes will make you bark for and wiggle for more.

  • What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockapoodledoo!
  • What kind of dog likes taking a bath? A shampoodle!
  • A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
  • What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador!
  • Policeman: “Excuse me Mr, but were you aware that your dog has been chasing a guy on his bike” Dog Owner: “Are you nuts? My dog is not even able to ride a bike”  I know someone who has a dog that keeps eating garlic. His bark is worse than his bite. 
  • What do you get when you cross a… Pekingese and a Lhasa Apso [A]: Peekasso Collie and a Malamute. [A]: Commute Bull Terrier and a ShihTzu [A]: Bull(poop?)
  • I’m considering removing my dog’s tail. My mother-in-law comes next weekend and I intend to get rid of anything that would give her the impression that she is welcome.
  • Did you hear about the dog that ate nothing but garlic? His bark was much worse than his bite.

Jokes about Cats

While everybody loves dogs, cats are also being loved by humankind especially for children.

Cats are very sweet, very friendly and will really show gentleness.

They climb everywhere and will appear out of nowhere. But this unique personality of cats will always melt everyone’s hearts. 

Now, we have here some purr-fect collection of jokes for cats that you will definitely laugh so hard.

  • What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping! 
  • Matt: Knock, knock. Jake: Who’s there? Matt: Kitten. Jake: Kitten, who? Matt: Quit kitten around and open the door!
  • A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat. “What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the cat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses… The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!” 
  • A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly. Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
  • Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame? 
  • What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! 
  • A woman invited her neighbor over for dinner and introduced her four cats. “That’s Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, and Astrophe,” she announced. The neighbor was surprised and asked, “Where on Earth did you get those names?” “Oh, those are their last names,” the woman said. “Their first names are Cat.” 
  • Cats to-do list: Eat Sleep Freak out in the middle of the night
  • A man drives deep into the forest to get rid of his cat. He lets her out at an abandoned place. After one hour he gets a phone call from his wife: “The cat is back.” The man growls: “Ok, can you put her on, I got lost and need directions.”
  • Two female cats are sitting on the fence passing the time of day when a really handsome tomcat walks by and winks at them.’Oh darling, did you see that one?’ one of the felines opines. ‘I wouldn’t mind sharing a dead mouse with him.’ ‘Oh, forget about him,’ her friend tells her. ‘I went out with him once, and all he did was talk about his operation.’
  • There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left? None. They were all copy cats!​

Jokes about Sea Animals

Who loves going to the beach?

Sea animals are the ones inhabiting the sea which includes the fishes, whales, dolphins and other sea creatures.

Check out this sea of jokes for teens, kids and even adults that bring out the best laugh in you. 

  • Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
  • NICHOLAS: Why did the fish blush? TOMMY: I haven’t a clue. NICHOLAS: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
  •  Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Fish Fish who? Bless you!
  • A big grey elephant was drinking out of a river when he saw a snapping turtle lying asleep on a log.  The elephant walks up to the turtles and boots it clean over the river to the other side. “Why did you do that?” asked a nearby beaver. “Because I remember that little thing that took a bite out of me fifty years ago” says the elephant. “Wowsers, that is some memory!” says the beaver. “Indeed” says the elephant, “turtle recall”. 
  • An old man owned a dolphin… A few kids went to the old man and asked, “Why do you own a dolphin?” The old man smiled and said, “When I was younger my dreams were crushed so I bought a dolphin.” He smiled. “Buying him gave me a porpoise in life.”
  • Most people think an octopus has 8 legs. Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms? Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says “Owwww” are his arms. 
  • What did the momma shark say to the kid shark? Watch that sharkasm, young man.
  • In the beginning, God asked Adam to name the animals, so he began to invent names, “Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig…” Then God said, “You must name the sea animals too.” Adam was exhausted, but he knew how important this was, so he continued… “Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…” 
  • A local bartender was working late one Friday night when a patron came running through the door. Patron: “HELP! I need to know how tall a penguin is!” The bartender puts out his hand and says “probably this tall” The patron looks terribly concerned and he says “Oh no! I think I just ran over a nun!”
  • A female crab sees a male crab walking in a straight line Amazed by the crab’s rare gait, she is smitten. She asks him to marry her, and he happily agrees. The next day, she notices that he is walking normally in a zigzag pattern. She is shocked. She asks him why he is walking in this manner now. He replies, “Baby, I can’t be that drunk always, can I?” 
  • Where should Spongebob fans go in the hospital? The Squid-ward!
  • A man ordered lobster for dinner… And when the waiter brought it to him, he complained, “Hey, this lobster has only one claw!” The waiter said, “That lobster was in a fight.” “Okay then,” replied the man, “Bring me the winner!” 

Joke about Farm Animals

Farm animals are animals that are kept for agricultural purposes such as carabao, cow, chickens and many more.

These animals are very beneficial in the agricultural industry, they help their owners in the cultivation of their lands.

As big as they are, these list of jokes will give you a big and a me-MOO-rable laughter.

  • What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake? YOU GET A MILKSHAKE!
  • What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake!
  • Where do sheep go on vacation? To the baaaaaahamas.
  • What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? An udder failure.
  • What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon!
  • What do you call a cow spying on another cow? A steak out.
  • What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again? A dirty double-crossing chicken. 
  • I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.
  • What do you call a goat who paints pictures? Vincent Van Goat. 
  • A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
  • A duck does a crime… A duck was found guilty to the charges of carrying illegal drugs such cocaine, but the police questioned him to find out who he bought them from the police bring in an officer to see if he can get him to confess: “hey, we will make sure you get off scott free if you tell us who sold you these drugs”. Duck: “No of course not because if I go to prison when I get out I plan to buy more”. The Officer responds: “well we can always put you in jail for a much longer time”. Eventually, the duck cracked and told the police who he bought it from Duck: “Alright I bought it from a goose”. Officer: “I knew you would quack from the pressure”.
  • Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove to everyone he wasn’t chicken
  • A turkey farmer was experimenting with ways to make a better turkey. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer announced to his friends, “Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!” They all asked the farmer how it tasted. “I don’t know” said the farmer. “I never could catch the darn thing!”
  • A shepherd owned a remarkable dog, deft at sheep herding and able to speak. At the end of the day, after his dog had herded the flock into the pen, the shepherd asked his canine friend to confirm how many sheep were in. “40,” the dog barked. “40? I counted 37.” “Yes,” replied the dog, “I rounded them up.”
  • A buffalo hunter and a Native American guide… One day when they were hunting the guide stopped, put his ear to the ground, and listened, then said “Buffalo come”. The hunter asked “How can you tell?” The guide replied “Ear sticky”

Jokes about Zoo Animals

Have you ever visited the zoo? Zoo is the shelter for some wild animals where they are being taken care of.

Children love going to the zoo to see some terrific and friendly animals.

Some people are afraid of wild animals but in this chapter, we are going to make a list of jokes for zoo animals where you will find to be ape-solutely hilarious. 

  • What Do You Call a Restaurant That Throws Food In Your Face? A Monkey Business. 
  • Two elephants – Harry & Faye Couldn’t kiss with their trunks in the way So they boarded a plane They’re now kissing in Maine Cause their trunks got sent to L.A.
  • Dad: Hey why is there a lion and a witch in your wardrobe? Son: It’s Narnia business!
  • All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose? Because one of his opponents kept on a lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah. 
  • Knock knock.
    Who’s there.
    Giraffe.
    Giraffe who?
    Giraffe anything to eat? I’m starving! 
  • “Oh, no!” the kangaroo groaned to her friend, the rabbit. “The forecast calls for rain.” “What’s the problem with that?” asked the rabbit. “We could use some rain.” “Sure,” the kangaroo said. “But that means my kids will have to play inside all day!”
  • What is black and white and red all over? A panda bear with a sunburn!
  • What movies do pandas enjoy watching the most? They love watching old movies because the movies are black and white! 
  • I was shooting some 8-ball pool with an owl the other day. When he took his shot he made a foul as his wing brushed against a ball. I said, “That’s two hits.” He replied, “Two hits to who?”
  • Why are alligators long and green? Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes. 
  • What do you get when you cross a python with a porcupine? Ten feet of barbed wire.

Funny Riddles about Animals

Having fun with jokes? Why don’t we level up the fun! RIDDLES!

Riddles are a puzzling question or puzzle that is meant to be guessed or answered.

It may be confusing but the mind will surely work on this. Think critically while enjoying as you browse our list of funny animal riddles for you!

Go and share this with your friend and see how they answer these mind-blowing riddles. 

  • Buddy, the dog was wearing a 2 foot leash. He sees a squirrel and wants nothing more than to chase after it. Lucky for him Buddy was finally able to catch the squirrel. How did he accomplish this? Answer: Because the leash is not tied on to anything else.
  • I have no sword, I have no spear, yet rule a horde which many fear, my soldiers fight with wicked sting, I rule with might, yet am no king. What am I? A queen bee!
  • What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and green? Three skunks fighting over a pickle! 
  • Why are frogs always happy? They eat what bugs them.
  • His eyes were raging, that scraggly beast. His lips were bursting, with rows of angry teeth. Upon his back, a razor was found. It was a fearsome battle we fought, my life – or his, one would be bought. And when we were through, and death chilled the air, we cut out his heart, and ate it with flair. Answer: boar
  • Alive as you but without breath, As cold in my life as in my death; Never thirst though I always drink, Dressed in a mail but never a clink. Answer: Fish 
  • One of these is Cupid But it doesn’t have a bow Instead it pulls a sleigh Through the air and lands on snow Answer: Reindeer
  • My start goes on toast, and my end’s how birds move. My baby eats leaves but I drink flowers.  Answer: Butterfly
  • What is as big as an elephant, but weighs nothing at all? Answer: The shadow of an elephant.
  • Why do Sharks only swim salt water? Answer: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
  • I have wings but I’m not a bird. I am small and colorful. I live in gardens and fields and forests. I used to be a caterpillar. I am a. Answer: Butterfly 

Now that you were able to read out funny jokes and riddles for animals, we hope that you already have taken down all your favorite jokes and riddles.

We are pretty sure that you will have a wonderful time with your family, friends and even your partners if you will share these jokes.

About the author 

Megha Sharma


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