Bagel Puns That Will Make Your Breakfast Both Funny and Delicious

Most people have a love-hate relationship with bagels. They are sometimes too chewy and hard to eat, or not chewy enough and flavorless. But you have to admit that when you have a fresh, hot bagel, it’s the best breakfast food around. 

So we’ve compiled a list of puns that you can use to liven up your bagel. These bagel puns will make your mouth water, even if your morning routine has been disrupted by our sleepy alarm clock.

Funny Bagel Puns & Jokes

  • What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music?
    • Poppyseed beats, they’re always jammin’!
  • How do bagels stay in shape?
    • They hit the gym, but they’re not too fond of carbo-loading!
  • What did the bagel say to the bread when it was feeling down?
    • “Don’t be so crusty, we all have our yeastern struggles!”
  • Why did the bagel go to therapy?
    • It had too many “inner holes” to fill, and it kneaded someone to talk to!
  • How do bagels stay warm during winter?
    • They layer up with “dough-ble” coats, but they’re still chill on the inside!
  • What’s the term for a bagel with musical talent?
    • A groovin’ bagel!
  • Why did the bagel carry a ladder?
    • It aspired to reach greater heights!
  • How do you bring out a chuckle in a bagel?
    • Deliver a tiny “jab” at its center!
  • Which sport does a bagel enjoy the most?
    • Tennis, because it’s all about the “serve”!
  • Why did the bagel end its relationship with the toaster?
    • It felt like they were constantly “roasting” each other!
  • It’s hard to trust bagels, and you shouldn’t either.
    • They seem seedy at times!
  • Prisoners are served only plain bagels as the authorities are concerned they may pick up the lox!
  • In addition to croissants, bagels and donuts took a trip to the zoo.
    • They were of the opinion that it would be a lovely experience for the hole family!
  • Man A: I found a bandaid in my breakfast!
    • Man B: You ordered everything bagel, right? 
  • Ever since I became a pilot, I can eat only one type of bagel.
    • Plain.
  • My friends in Germany complained that they couldn’t find a good bagel anywhere;
    • well who’s to blame?
  • The toaster oven has two bagels in it and one says “Wow, it’s hot in here.”
    • And the other says “Oh my gosh, a talking bagel!”
  • Recently, I came across a Frenchman wearing a bagel as a scarf.
    • It was a real pain in the neck, he said.
  • The camper ate what kind of bagel?
    • A winnebago.
  • What is a Jamaican bagel called?
    • Cinnamon.
  • What kind of bagel can fly?
    • A plane bagel!
  • What is the name of a store that sells only bagels and donuts?
    • Hole Foods.
  • What is the best way to hold back a bagel?
    • You put lox on it.
  • The seagulls fly above the sea for what reason?
    • If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!
  • Is there anything ghosts put on their bagels?
    • Scream Cheese.
  • Did the bagel say anything to the pastor?
    • “I’m holier than you”.
  • To screw in a lightbulb, how many bagels do you need?
    • Toaster ovens don’t have light bulbs.
  • How do you describe someone who stands on one foot, eats a bagel and a banana?
    • A balanced breakfast.
  • A bagel calls its grandfather what?
    • Poppy.
  • When his friend was hit by a bus as he crossed the street, what did the bagel say?
    • Oh, Crumbs!

Bagel Cute One-Liners

  • The two of us are total baegoals!
  • You’re the best, my one and only bae-gel!
  • Essentially, bagels are just acoustic donuts.
  • I got fired today because a customer wanted to buy a bagel with cream cheese,
    • I told them we only accept cash.
  • In this world, there are two kinds of people:
    • those who love bagels and those who lie.
  • A store that sells only bagels and donuts is known as a hole foods store.
  • Whenever bagels celebrate,
    • they propose a toast.
  • The bagel is holey, so it will go to heaven.
  • As a religious person, you should have a bagel at least once a day for breakfast,
    • since bagels are a holy food!
  • If life’s a beach, I’d still rather be a bagel.
    • -Briar Bagels

Bagel Brain Teasers

Author’s Note

I hope these puns bring a smile to your face and make your stomach growl. These bagel puns will make you want to grab that bagel and slather it with cream cheese and start laughing.

Discover our complete collection of hilarious jokes, motivational quotes, and inspiring videos and songs. These will brighten up your day and help you feel better. See a few of them below.

Watch these funny bagel gifs now, and you’ll feel like eating your breakfast right away.

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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