Beer Jokes That Will Quench Your Thirst for Laughter

Beer quenches your thirst, cheers you up, tastes great, and is perfect for any occasion. That’s why the world loves beer so much!

Beer is all about fun, and that’s why we created this blog to talk about some of the funniest and wittiest beer jokes, short-liners, and sayings.

But what if you could relate those fun benefits of beer to your workplace? That’s right! Beer can be a great ice-breaker, a fun topic of discussion in team meetings, or just an awesome way to end your day.

Funny Beer Jokes

  • How should a balanced diet be defined?
    • A beer in each hand.
  • How can you tell if someone likes craft beer?
    • Don’t worry they’ll tell you.
  • In what ways does a man show that he plans for the future?
    • He buys two cases of beer.
  • What do you never say to a police officer?
    • “Sure, let me grab my license. Can you hold my beer?”
  • A man considers a seven-course meal to have how many courses?
    • A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
  • What is the favorite beer of a pothead?
    • Miller High Life.
  • Do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza, and a frozen beer have anything in common?
    • Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.
  • What do you call an Irishman who has consumed 15 beers?
    • A sober Irishman.
  • What is the favorite beer of an orphan?
    • Fosters.
  • What is Jesus’ reason for not buying beer?
    • Hebrews.
  • How do you describe a man running with a beer?
    • Edward Forty-hands.
  • Is there a difference between beer and piss?
    • About 30 min.
  • What makes kangaroos good at brewing beer?
    • They have hops.

Crazy Beer Short-Liners

  • I like craft beer.
    • I’m not an alcoholic.
    • It’s a hobby.
  • When I drink beer,
    • I like IPA a lot.
  • I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
  • Beer:
    • Everyone needs a hobby!
  • Beer Runs:
    • Do they count as exercise? 
  • I am a craft beer enthusiast…
    • the more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become. 
  • Funny how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible,
    • but drinking 8 beers goes down faster than an elephant on a see-saw.
  • In a bar, a skeleton walks in.
    • Orders a beer and a mop.
  • In a bar, a Roman walks in.
    • He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
  • I can make beer disappear.
    • What’s your superpower? 
  • It’s not a good idea to drink beer every day.
    • That’s why I only drink at night.
  • Beer does not contain many vitamins.
    • That is why you need to drink a lot of it. 
  • Never think of your beer as half empty.
    • Look at it as halfway to your next beer.
  • The answer to anything is never beer.
    • Beer is the question, and Yes is the answer.
  • I am going to brew beer and name it after the first day of the week.
    • When someone brings a 24 or 30 pack to a party, they’ll say, “Looks like someone has the Mondays”.

Let’s not stifle the fun! Keep laughing with Bartender jokes, Bagel puns, and Non jokes that you can’t resist!

Silly Beer Sayings

  • Trust me, you can dance.
    • —Beer
  • Beer is good,
    • but beers are better. 
  • Bacon cannot solve all our problems,
    • that’s what beer is for. 
  • If at first you don’t succeed, try a bottle opener.
    • It probably isn’t a twist-top. 
  • Take a pitcher.
    • It’ll last longer. 
  • “To beer or not to beer.”
    • —Shakesbeer
  • Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
    • That’s my pint of view, anyway.
  • You can’t find happiness at the bottom of a beer.
    • Well no kidding, who is happy when their beer runs out? 
  • They say you should drink a lot of water.
    • I drink mine filtered… Filtered through malt and hops. 

Beer is a staple of many cultures and is enjoyed by many people all over the world. It is one of those beverages with a long history.  With that in mind, we thought it would be fun to share some jokes and one-liners about beer. 

Want to know more about this Beer? Check out some interesting facts about beer that you may not have known.

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