Baseball Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Throughout the Field

Baseball is a game that can be seen in many different ways. It could be the sport of your dreams, or it could be something you only watch during the World Series. 

Regardless of how you feel about baseball, we’re sure to have a joke for you! If you are looking for hilarious baseball jokes that will make your next ballpark visit more enjoyable, then this list is perfect for you!

Top Baseball Jokes

  • What do you call a basketball team made up of cows?
    • The “Moo-waukee” Bulls! They’re all about slam-dunks and alley-oats… I mean oats!
  • Why was the basketball player always cold?
    • Because he kept getting so many “swish” drafts, it was like Mother Nature was trying to give him the cold shoulder!
  • Why was the computer shivering during the basketball game?
    • It had too many “frozen” screens – it thought it was playing “Ice Hockey” instead of hoops!
  • How do basketball players beat the summer heat?
    • They stand near the fans and pretend it’s just the “air conditioning” of the game!
  • Why did the basketball coach bring a ladder to practice?
    • To help the team reach new heights – both on the court and in life, because they’re aiming for “slam-tastic” success!
  • What did the basketball tease the player who kept missing shots?
    • “You’re really ‘air-balling’ it today!” It’s like you’re auditioning for the ‘Basket-bloopers’ reel!”
  • Whenever the pitcher throws the ball, he raises one leg. Why?
    • If he raised both, he would fall down.
  • Why are baseball games played at night?
    • It is because bats are nocturnal!
  • What goes around the baseball field forever, but never moves?
    • The fence.
  • What is the least favorite Star Wars movie of a baseball player?
    • The Umpire Strikes Back.
  • Why was second base so depressed?
    • It’s because he will never be first!
  • What is the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?
    • One watches steals, the other steals watches.
  • What makes Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be?
    • It’s full of fans.
  • Which baseball player can hold water?
    • The pitcher.
  • Where do coal miners play baseball?
    • In the miner Leagues!
  • Whenever a baseball player’s eyesight starts to fail, what do they do?
    • He gets a job as an umpire.
  • Why are centipedes barred from playing on pest baseball teams?
    • Because it takes too long to put their cleats on.
  • What’s the best way to keep in touch with baseball players?
    • They touch base from time to time.
  • In what way is a baseball team similar to a baker?
    • They needed a good batter!
  • Is there something with 18 legs that catches flies?
    • A baseball team!
  • When baseball players bake a cake, what do they use?
    • Oven mitts, bundt pans and batter.
  • What animal is the best at baseball?
    • The baseball bat!
  • Have you heard the joke about your pitching style?
    • It is foul. Never mind.
  •  What kind of pen does a cow use to write?
    • Bullpens!
  • Where do bats get washed up?
    • In the bat tub. 
  • Umpires that are fat would you like to know why?
    • Their plate is always wiped clean!
  • When the baseball player spent time at the library, how long did he spend there?
    • Five minutes. It was a quick stop.
  • Why did the sausage stop playing baseball?
    • On his team, he was the wurst.
  • Did you know baseball is the first sport mentioned in the Bible?
    • It says in Genesis, “In the big inning!”

Funny Baseball One-Liners

  • When I was younger, I used to collect bats,
    • but they got loose and flew away.
  • There are 90% mental aspects to baseball,
    • and half are physical. 
  • The pitcher threw with good control today…
    • Did not miss any bats for three innings! 
  •  If you sing while playing baseball,
    • you might not get a good pitch.
  • Thou shalt not steal any other way other than in baseball.
  • I hit a chicken with one hit…
    • That was a real “fowl ball!”
  • Keep your hands off the umpire.
    • The umpire will strike back. 
  • Play ball!” is the way they start a game,
    • not “Work ball!”
  • Don’t worry… I’m an outfielder.
    • I’ll catch you!

Author’s Note

It’s a beautiful day for baseball. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and the field smells like freshly cut grass. There’s just one thing that could ruin this perfect day—a game without jokes! That’s right, it doesn’t matter if you’re pitching or playing centerfield; there are plenty of funny jokes to go around on the diamond.

Let us share with you more funny jokes that will really make you laugh.

If you want more puns, visit our entire collection of Funny Jokes Today.

Check out the top baseball funny moments ever.

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