Garden Jokes to Make You Laugh Your Way to Wellness

Garden jokes are a great way to make you laugh and inspire creativity. They can also provide an outlet for stress, anxiety, or depression. It is important that we take care of our mental health as well as our physical health in order to live long fulfilling lives!

You might not think it’s possible to have fun in the garden, but we’re about to prove you wrong. Here are some jokes that will make you laugh your way to wellness!

Garden Jokes

  • What’s a gardener’s favorite type of footwear?
    • Garden “crocs”! Because who needs fancy shoes when you have “croc”-odile comfort in the garden?
  • How does a gardener party on Halloween?
    • They have a “gourd”-geous celebration! It’s the one night they let their pumpkins shine!
  • Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the garden?
    • Because they wanted to plant some “high”-drangeas! Those tall flowers needed a lift to reach for the sun!
  • What’s a vegetable’s favorite comedian?
    • “Corn”-y jokes always get a good laugh! They just can’t resist the kernels of humor!
  • How do you make a gardener laugh?
    • You “soil” the conversation with a few puns! It’s the surefire way to make their day bloom with laughter!
  • Which Beatles song is the gardener’s favorite? 
    • Lettuce Be.
  • How do you stop your dog from digging up your garden?
    • Start right away! Don’t let the dog see you digging… Doggy see doggy do.
  • What type of trousers do gardeners prefer?  
    • Ones with turnips.
  • What runs around a garden, but doesn’t move?
    • A fence.
  • What do you call a cow that works for a gardener?
    • A lawn moo-er.
  • What is the method trees use to calculate square roots?
    • They use a log-arithm.
  • Which vegetable is always cold?
    • A chilli.
  • Why wasn’t anyone amused by the gardener’s jokes?
    • Because they were too corney. 
  • What makes The Hulk such a good gardener?
    • Because he’s got green fingers.
  • Are you growing a garden well?
    • Only thyme will tell. 
  • What is a gardener’s favorite Harrison Ford film?
    • Raiders of the Lost Bark.
  • What is the best way to prevent moles from digging in your garden?
    • Take away their shovels. 
  • How do you make apple puffs?
    • Chase it around the garden.
  • An irritable and short-tempered gardener is called what?
    • A SnapDragon.
  • Gardeners plant bulbs for what purpose?
    • In order for the worms to know where they are going.
  • Did Santa Claus say anything when he walked through the garden?
    • Hoe!  Hoe!  Hoe!
  • What kind of socks do gardeners wear?
    • Garden hose.

Garden Puns and One-Liners

  • At first I wasn’t that interested in gardening,
    • but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
  • The spring season is fast approaching.
    • It’s so exciting that I soaked my plants.
  • My goal is to start gardening,
    • but I haven’t botany plants.
  • A gardener job was offered to me,
    • but I declined because the celery was too low.
  • I used to make a lot of money clearing leaves from gardens.
    • I was raking it in.
  • “The easiest way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat, some old clothes, and with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to  dig.”
    • –  Texas Bix Bender, Don’t Throw in the Trowel  
  • God created rainy days,
    • so gardeners could get the housework done. 
  • My herbs are being planted alphabetically.
    • People ask me how I find the time.
    • My answer is “it’s right next to the sage”.
  • I asked the staff at my local garden center what to plant in my garden.
    • I received some sage advice from them.
  • In the eyes of the lawn.
  • All clover the world.
  • Just one of rose things.
  • Soil of the century.
  • Trowel and error.
  • As far as the cacti can see.
  • Turf the net.
  • One trick peony.
  • In on the ground flora.
  • I beg your garden?
  • One more thyme.

The Great Gardening Personality Quiz

Author’s Note

Gardening is a wonderful hobby that can be enjoyed by anyone. It’s an opportunity to get outside and enjoy the beauty of nature, while also providing you with fresh produce for your kitchen table! 

Are there any gardening jokes that have made you chuckle? We would love to hear them!

Are you looking for more funny jokes to share? There’s no need to worry, we have you covered! Here are a few of our funniest jokes that you’ll surely enjoy. Also, check out the entire collection of Funny Jokes Today if you want more puns.

Here are 10 surprising things you didn’t know about your garden. In your petals, leaves, and dirt are many secrets waiting to be revealed.

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