Cycling Jokes That Will Give You the Right Balance of Fun and Excitement

As well as providing excellent exercise, cycling can also be a great deal of fun!

Check out our list of cycling jokes that will have you laughing all the way to the finish line! From bike-related puns to humorous observations about cyclists, these jokes will have you entertained on your next ride. 

So, pedal on over and take a look!

Funny Cycling Jokes

  • What is the most difficult part of learning to ride a bike?
    • The road.
  • When cycling, what has been the strangest thing you’ve eaten?
    • Since things turned sour with my wife a fortnight ago, I’ve taken to riding 50 miles a day to clear my head. I’m now 700 miles from home and feeling much happier.
  • Is there a reason why the bike couldn’t stand up by itself?
    • It was two tyre’d.
  • Can you tell me how the apple got to school?
    • They rode a pie-cycle!
  • In winter, what does a cyclist ride?
    • An icicle!
  • Have you heard about the lunatic who won the Tour de France in one day?
    • He took the psycho path!
  • What are the signs that you’ve married a cycling addict?
    • You laundry has more bike jerseys than clothes.
  • Ghost-proof bicycles: what are they?
    • One with no spooks in it.
  • When a bicycle has a bed on top, what do you call it?
    • Bedridden.
  • Are you tired of being fat and ugly?
    • Buy a bike and just be ugly. 
  • What is the difference between a cyclist and a tricyclist?
    • Attire.
  • Did you know Alfred Hitchcock enjoyed downhill mountain biking?
    • He was a master of suspension.
  • When a professional cyclist breaks up with his girlfriend, what do you call him?
    • Homeless
  • What is the reason for the ban on bicycles for bank tellers?
    • They tend to lose their balance.
  • How did the barber win the bike race?
    • He took a shortcut. 
  • What do you call a therapist for cyclists?
    • A cycologist.
  • The bike that wondered what it was like to be a motorcycle was called what?
    • Bike-curious.
  • The bicycle went to the psychiatrist for what reason?
    • It had cycle logical problems
  • Soldiers returning from war and boys with bicycles have what in common?
    • They say “Look ma, No hands!”
  • Why do most guitarists enjoy cycling?
    • Because a cycle comes with two pedals!
  • Which bicycle race is a noodle’s favorite?
    • The Tour de Lini.
  • Is there a reason why the little boy took his bicycle to bed with him?
    • Because he didn’t want to sleepwalk. 

Jokes That Will Make You Laugh While Being Fit: Tennis Jokes, Gym Jokes, Soccer Jokes

Hilarious One Liners and Conversations About Cycling 

  • On a winter’s day, I spotted my mate chest-high in snow.
    • When I offered him a lift, he replied: “No thanks, I’m on the bike”.
  • On his deathbed, a cyclist asked his best friend to do him a favor.
    • “Anything,” replied his friend.
    • “Just don’t let my wife sell my bikes for what I told her I paid for them,” he begged.
  • Spaghetti cannot be made into a bicycle, according to my sister.
    • You should have seen her face when i rode pasta!
  • In heaven, a very devout cyclist dies.
    • Saint Peter meets him at the gate.
    • As soon as the cyclist sees heaven, he asks if there are bicycles there.
    • “Sure,” says St. Peter, “let me show you,” and he leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine.
    • “This is great,” the cyclist says.
    • “It certainly is,” says St. Peter. “You’ll have a custom bike and the best cycling clothes you’ve ever seen, and your personal masseuse will always be available.”
    • A blur riding a gold-plated bike streaks by them on the boards as they speak.
    • “Wow!” the cyclist exclaims. ” He was so fast, that could only have been Mark Cavendish!”
    • “No,” says St. Peter, “that was God on the bike. He only thinks he’s Mark Cavendish.”
  • On a bright sunny day, a nerd was walking down the sidewalk when his friend, another nerd, rode up on a shiny new bicycle.
    • Upon seeing his friend’s sweet ride, the first nerd exclaimed, “WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?”
    • The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want!'”
    • As the second nerd sighed in approval, he said, “Good choice. The clothes wouldn’t have fit.”
  • You’re a cycling addict if when you hear about a crash, your first question is…
    • “How’s the bike?”
  • I went to the bike shop to get a patch kit.
    • Left with two bikes, a multi-tool, four water bottles, and socks. 
  • Yesterday, I cycled through a flower-filled meadow.
    • My bike looks much prettier with its daisy chain.
  • Around the corner, a shop does a roaring business removing cyclists’ eyes.
    • It’s called Cycle-Ops.
  • I kick my bike back when it hurts me.
    • You could say we’re in a vicious cycle.
  • Take a look at the cost of public transportation to understand why Brits are so good at cycling.
  • At the age of 97, my granny started cycling.
    • She has been doing ten miles per day – and now we don’t know where the heck she is!
  • Every year, tire pumps become more expensive.
    • It’s all because of inflation.
  • Jack and Jill are climbing a steep hill on their tandem.
    • “Phew, that was a tough climb,” said Jill, leaning over, breathing hard.
    • “That climb was so hard, and we were going so slow, I thought we were never going to make it.”
    • “Yeah, good thing I kept the brakes on,” said Jack, “or we’d have slid all the way back down!”
  • At night, a vicar was stopped by the police for not having a backlight.
    • The vicar says, “I don’t need a back light, the Lord is with me.”
    • The policeman says, “Two on a bike as well, that’s another offense.”

People of all ages can enjoy cycling because it is a low-impact, healthy exercise. Additionally, it’s cheap, fun, and environmentally friendly. Find out how cycling can benefit you

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