Witty Starbucks Jokes That Laugh Your Latte Off

Let’s face it, we all love Starbucks. It has become a go-to spot for many around the world. The perfect place to get a quick coffee before work or to work. We know how their baristas can make our favorite drink (it’s not easy to get the perfect ratio of coffee, milk, and sugar). 

My love for Starbucks is so strong that I just can’t resist joking about it. Below are the funniest Starbucks jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and make you appreciate your favorite coffee even more.

I’d like to share with you a little interesting fact. Since Starbucks opened its first outlet in 1971, it has become a cultural icon and a byword for a side of modernity. Every month, this coffee giant serves 50 million customers. How amazing is that?

Funny Short Starbucks Jokes

  • Why did the espresso keep checking its watch?
    • Because it was caffeine-obsessed and thought it was “brew”ing up some time!
  • How does a coffee bean say goodbye?
    • “Have a latte-tally awesome day!”
  • Why did the coffee file a police report?
    • It got bean-napped and demanded justice for the “mugging”!
  • How do you make a latte art masterpiece?
    • You tell it, “Perk up and create a latte-tude!”
  • What did the coffee say to the sugar?
    • “You sweeten my day almost as much as that caramel macchiato!”
  • Captain America ordered what at Starbucks?
    • One Iced Americano.
  • Can you tell me what the fox says when ordering at Starbucks?
    • Hot tea, hot tea, hot tea, ho!
  • What’s the fastest way to get Starbucks in less than a minute?
    • Tell the barista that your name is Fire. Everyone will run outside as soon as your name is called.
  • Starbucks is removing trans-fat from its menu for what reason?
    • Because they want that Frappacino to pad your a** without clogging your arteries!
  • What did the piece of cheese tell the Starbucks barista?
    • “Can we Havarti?”
  • Astronauts use what kind of currency?
    • Starbucks.
  • What does Starbucks mean when they say “If your drink isn’t top-notch every time, let us know. If not, we will make it right.”?
    • To torture their employees.
  • What made the Swede drink on the floor of Starbucks?
    • Because he was told it was ground coffee.
  • A bench at Starbucks is called what?
    • A basic bench.
  • What made the Federal Authorities realize that there is an underground channel near the US-Mexico border that involves the smuggling of drugs?
    • It had its own Starbucks!
  • What makes people go to Starbucks to write books?
    • Because white noise helps them concentrate!
  • Did the doctor say anything when a baby was born holding a Starbucks latte?
    • “It’s a white girl.”
  • What size coffee does a Bishop order at Starbucks?
    • Grande.
  • What is the favorite Starbucks beverage of an average redditor?
    • Double depresso.
  • When a Frappuccino won’t stop brewing, what do you call it?
    • Stand your ground coffee.
  • When Santa and his reindeer fly in the sky, where do they get hot chocolate?
    • Star-bucks.
  • Which new song is sponsored by Starbucks and performed by Paul McCartney?
    • Latte it Be!
  • Why does Starbucks get away with charging outrageous prices for coffee?
    • Because they have Italian titles for everything!
  • Is there a difference between a Starbucks latte and a wh*re?
    • Nothing, they both s*ck and empty your wallet!
  • When you walk into a Starbucks you’re sure you’ve been to before, what do you call it?
    • Déjà brew

Hilarious Starbucks Short Stories

  • The world contains two types of people:
    • Those who like Starbucks, and those who lie.
  • I just visited Starbucks and the barista was wearing a mask.
    • “Why are you wearing a surgical mask?” I asked.
    • She said “I’m not, it’s a coughy filter.”
  • During my trip to Starbucks, I made the barista cry.
    • I put my name down as Dad and he stood there calling it over and over again with no reply.
  • A man walks into a Starbucks carrying a big chunk of asphalt.
    • He says to the counter, “I’ll take a large latte for myself and one for the road.”
  • A tall blonde enters Starbucks.
    • ‘Hey, there’s a drink named after you!’ the barista says.
    • The blonde asks, “Do you have a drink called Tiffani?”
  • My mother-in-law ordering at Starbucks is like watching a drunk gorilla try to start a car with a french fry.
  • Instead of going to Starbucks, I make coffee at home, yell out my name incorrectly, then light a $5 bill on fire.
  • Today I saw a guy at Starbucks without a smartphone, tablet, or laptop.
    • Like a psychopath, he sat there drinking coffee.
  • Starbucks is running a new promotion.
    • In case you forget your mask, you’ll get a free venti later.
  • As she handed me my coffee, the barista at Starbucks looked so nervous.
    • It seems she was scared, since she spelled my name wrong, writing “callthecops”.
    • I didn’t bother leaving a tip.

The Starbucks Coffee Expertise Quiz


What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? Is it the classic Grande Nonfat Cappuccino with two Sweet-n-Lows? Or maybe it’s the Double Espresso Macchiato with a splash of whole milk. Whatever your choice is, you’ll surely love Starbucks. With their wide selection of drinks, Starbucks is sure to please almost any coffee lover. 

Browse our complete collection of funny jokes, motivational quotes, and inspirational songs. You will enjoy it more and your day will be brighter. You can see a few of them below. 

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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