Running Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Until You’re Out of Breath

There is a serious side to endurance running. Let’s lighten it up with running jokes!

Despite all the effort athletes put in, sometimes they need some extra motivation. That is exactly what we can do for you.

Professionals and amateurs alike can benefit from running jokes. Marathons can be strenuous, but you can still enjoy them more if you crack a joke or two. If you want to stay fresh for the rest of the run, you may want to save your breath. 

You may forget to breathe while laughing at a running joke, because it has many perky punchlines and answers. You’re in for a treat, so we hope you didn’t run out of breath before getting here. 1. 2. 3. Let’s go!

Funny Running Jokes and Puns

  • How do you describe a runner who keeps choking on water puns during a marathon?
    • A bad case of running gags.
  • What is the best way for crazy runners to get through a forest?
    • They take the psycho path.
  • When you run in front of a car, what do you get?
    • Tired.
  • What makes nuns such good runners?
    • Because they’re used to being chaste.
  • When a runner came home sweaty, what did his wife give him?
    • She gave him the stink eye.
  • What made the track runner not get out of bed?
    • He was fast asleep.
  • What are the reasons why you should avoid selecting a runner as a juror?
    • Because then, you’ll have a runaway jury.
  • Have you heard about the running gardener who lost his race?
    • Yeah, apparently, he took the wrong root.
  • Finland Marathon ended where?
    • At the Finnish line.
  • What caused the vegetarians to stop running cross-country?
    • They didn’t like meets!
  • When a runner is last, what does she drink?
    • Ketchup.
  • When runners forget something, what do they do?
    • They jog their memory.
  • When a blonde throws a pin at you, what do you do?
    • Run! She’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.
  • The runner in the marathon was arrested and taken to jail for what reason?
    • He was resisting a rest.
  • If a person runs behind a car, what will happen to them?
    • They get exhaust-ed.
  • Have you heard about the ultra runners who lived in different cities?
    • They had a long-distance relationship.
  • When the barber won the race, how did he do it?
    • He took a shortcut.
  • How would you feel if you cut Usain Bolt?
    • A bolt cutter.
  • The runner crossed the road for what reason?
    • Because that’s where the less-crowded aid station was.
  • After watching his runner run a mile at marathon pace, what did the coach say?
    • “I’m sorry—could you repeat that?”
  • Is there a difference between large parties at restaurants and runners?
    • Large parties at restaurants split their checks; runners check their splits.
  • If a competitive runner just broke up with his girlfriend, what would you call him? 
    • Homeless.
  • Why did the trainer want her client to work out in the sun?
    • So she would feel the burn.
  • In the history of running, who has been the fastest runner?
    • Adam, because he came first in the human race!
  • Is there a reason why Mexico does not have a competitive Olympic team?
    • Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the United States.
  • During a race, why can’t you nap?
    • Because if you snooze, you lose!
  • What is the best way to tell if someone has run a marathon?
    • Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

Here are some funny jokes you’ll enjoy: Blonde Jokes, June Jokes, Morning Jokes

Hilarious Running One Liners and Quotes

  • I wanted to tell you one of my running jokes, but it somehow escaped.
  • Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
  • Since dogs and cats do not belong to the human race, they cannot run a marathon.
  • In the race, the runner who had a terrible cough and cold beat the others because he felt extra runny due to the cold.
  • All the marathon runners were disappointed that the race had been canceled- another run bites the dust.
  • If I’m running on the treadmill for half an hour and look down and see it’s been 4 minutes, I hate it.
  • Running was impossible for the Snowman because he couldn’t warm up.
  • Pens and papers are not likely to run and win races since they are stationery.
  • My apologies if I don’t wave or smile back at you while I’m running. It’s just that I’m trying very hard to not die.
  • I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.
  • Because running makes you forget all your problems, you’re too busy concentrating on one, and that’s the fact that your body hurts.
  • I told my mother the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it…
  • Yeah, I run.
    • It takes me longer than a turtle to go through peanut butter…but I run. 
  • Running in winter requires me to walk or run at a fast pace. 
  • The only 4 words that can immediately anger a runner:
    • “But did you win?”
  • Okay, so naked running.
    • Apparently this means running without GPS, music, any other tech.
    • I wish I had known that an hour ago. 
  • Long distance running is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.”
    • – Rich Hall
  • “Life is short. Running makes it seem longer.”
    • – Baron Hansen
  • “Good things come slow. Especially in distance running.”
    • – Bill Dellinger
  • “Running a marathon felt like I played in a very rough football game with no hitting above the waist.” 
    • – Alan Page

Check out this hilarious video of passersby reacting to a running prank

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Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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